Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Really lonely at uni :( watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've always been fairly quiet but I've always also loved socialising and going out with friends and I love meeting friends of friends.

    I knew I would find uni tough because I would know absolutely no one and it's very out of my comfort zone, but I just assumed that it would be fine and I'd meet people naturally.

    I've met a few people, but hardly any. Everyone else seems to be finding it so easy and knows/is friendly with half the people in our halls but I'm finding it so difficult.

    I've tried joining in, starting conversations, been to a fair few society meetings/socials and really been trying to get involved but it's just not happening. I've met/talked with a few people, but nothing's really come of it.

    So just feeling really horribly lonely at the moment. All of my friends from home had such amazing freshers and 1st year and are still having a great time.

    I don't know what to do. It's getting to the point now where cliques are forming and it's getting more difficult to start conversations. Feeling so lonely I definitely don't want it to continue like this, what can i do?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Lesson number one: Don't compare your time at uni with what you've heard from you friends.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    You probably come across strangely. Post a photo?
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've always been fairly quiet but I've always also loved socialising and going out with friends and I love meeting friends of friends.

    I knew I would find uni tough because I would know absolutely no one and it's very out of my comfort zone, but I just assumed that it would be fine and I'd meet people naturally.

    I've met a few people, but hardly any. Everyone else seems to be finding it so easy and knows/is friendly with half the people in our halls but I'm finding it so difficult.

    I've tried joining in, starting conversations, been to a fair few society meetings/socials and really been trying to get involved but it's just not happening. I've met/talked with a few people, but nothing's really come of it.

    So just feeling really horribly lonely at the moment. All of my friends from home had such amazing freshers and 1st year and are still having a great time.

    I don't know what to do. It's getting to the point now where cliques are forming and it's getting more difficult to start conversations. Feeling so lonely I definitely don't want it to continue like this, what can i do?
    What about the people you live with and the people on your course?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Go to more societies!

    I'd maybe suggest some kind of athletic club. Even if you're not that athletic, they'll be happy to have new people that are looking to improve themselves.

    Most sports have a great deal of interaction and are a good way to meet new people, plus they're fun!

    If not then just try to find a society that sounds even mildly interesting, you never know you might find something you really like you never thought you would.

    Which uni do you go to? Do you live in halls?
    • Community Assistant
    • Wiki Support Team
    • Political Ambassador
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Community Assistant
    Wiki Support Team
    Political Ambassador
    You have that small group of friends and that is all that matters. Focus on that group, get to know each other well and forge strong friendships there first. After that, then start looking for new friends on top of your group. Also don't worry, many people are in the same boat as you and are just as nervous. Good luck at uni.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Just constantly go out, be seen, hang around the lounge/kitchen area, sit with people in the canteen/bar (obviously ask first).

    I found it pretty easy last week, but me being me screwed it up by getting completely wasted and now nobody is talking to me. Yeah just make sure you don't follow in my footsteps!
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    keep trying keep trying keep trying keep trying keep trying keep trying keep trying.

    Cannot stress that enough. Don't know how long you've been there for but you need to keep trying on the friend thing, if you slack off you may not make a single friend and it gets harder ime to make friends later on at university.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jenny.chu)
    Just constantly go out, be seen, hang around the lounge/kitchen area, sit with people in the canteen/bar (obviously ask first).

    I found it pretty easy last week, but me being me screwed it up by getting completely wasted and now nobody is talking to me. Yeah just make sure you don't follow in my footsteps !
    Oh no, how can people get annoyed with you for getting wasted at uni. That's the whole fun of it.

    You must have done some pretty nasty stuff for them not to be talking to you .
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    keep trying keep trying keep trying keep trying keep trying keep trying keep trying.

    Cannot stress that enough. Don't know how long you've been there for but you need to keep trying on the friend thing, if you slack off you may not make a single friend and it gets harder ime to make friends later on at university.
    This OP. Just find things you have in common with people and play on those.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jenny.chu)
    Just constantly go out, be seen, hang around the lounge/kitchen area, sit with people in the canteen/bar (obviously ask first).

    I found it pretty easy last week, but me being me screwed it up by getting completely wasted and now nobody is talking to me. Yeah just make sure you don't follow in my footsteps!
    Wait... you were wasted in the canteen? Tsk tsk. Anyway drunk people can be complete mood killers at times, especially in broad daylight. But they can be funny too.
    Offline

    0
    Make uni friends on facebook
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Get hold of two books -

    How to talk to anyone by Leil Lowndes

    &

    How to make anyone like you by Leil Lowndes

    They saved my life and they will save you too. Make sure you get them and read them thoroughly!
    • #2
    #2

    After i read "I knew i would find uni tough...." i stopped
    Seriously...just chat up random people that cant be hard can it???
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    I think the join a society or sporting team is the best suggestion. Usually after a few weeks there are always those who drop out of sports teams, so this could give you a chance.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Nizzay!)
    Wait... you were wasted in the canteen? Tsk tsk. Anyway drunk people can be complete mood killers at times, especially in broad daylight. But they can be funny too.
    No?? :confused: I was wasted in the bar/club above the canteen? We have pre drinks in our kitchen/lounge area though. I think that's what I meant haha.

    Yeah I know what you mean, I didn't get any worse than tipsy (besides that Tuesday) and saw all my flat mates on the floor covered in sick from the first night which was a mood killer because they wanted to go back to halls at 12 and I wanted to stay
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jenny.chu)
    No?? :confused: I was wasted in the bar/club above the canteen? We have pre drinks in our kitchen/lounge area though. I think that's what I meant haha.

    Yeah I know what you mean, I didn't get any worse than tipsy (besides that Tuesday) and saw all my flat mates on the floor covered in sick from the first night which was a mood killer because they wanted to go back to halls at 12 and I wanted to stay
    Disgusting lol. :puke: Guess they couldnt handle their drink. :rolleyes: Stuff like that really puts me off during nights out, never saw the appeal of it really but I'm more of the responsible guy in my social circles :cool:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Nizzay!)
    Disgusting lol. :puke: Guess they couldnt handle their drink. :rolleyes: Stuff like that really puts me off during nights out, never saw the appeal of it really but I'm more of the responsible guy in my social circles :cool:
    Haha to be fair I can't say I've never been in that situation! But it really made me think about it now being the sober one and witnessing it. It is pretty gnarly.

    Responsible/Sensible = no fun! :p:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Just go to as many social events as you can be they sport orientated or parties.
    I also found in my 1st year that an Xbox in your room helps. Luckily I was one of the only people in my halls who had one so I made a lot of friends bantering over Pro Evo games.

    Alas, I'm now in my 4th year doing a Masters and I'm in a similar situation to the OP and my 1st year. I know a few people but it kind of is like starting again. Fortunately it's only for a year.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jenny.chu)
    Haha to be fair I can't say I've never been in that situation! But it really made me think about it now being the sober one and witnessing it. It is pretty gnarly.

    Responsible/Sensible = no fun! :p:
    How dare you brand me as 'no fun'. :mad: Feel well insulted. You dont know, but I do crazy **** from time to time. I am fun! Well when your wasted, I bet plenty of people pull pranks on you, and you wont know it...till the next morning. :rofl: And thats what I do. Yeah...thats my role in these social situations ha.

    But someone has to be responsible....maintains the order in the group. My mommy brought me up like that. :o:
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 4, 2010
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.