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    I am 26, still live at home and feel like I am going to have a breakdown. I stayed here to save for a house and if I bought something for 100k I could easily pay a 50% deposit. I haven't moved out as I worry about the recession and that I don't think it is wise to move in with my boyfriend as we are having some problems at the moment.

    I can't stand my lazy mom who always says she is stressed but does nothing around the house and has nothing to stress about. My dad has undiagnosed mental health issues and thinks its ok to sing his own made up songs whilst kicking his leg in the air at you. I have a lazy brother with OCD who uses sandwich bags as he won't touch the remote control or light switches incase of germs, uses 4 body towels and 4 flannels a day and again is lazy.

    I do the majority of the housework, my brother does nothing. I have to pick up and wash all their clothes, put it in their rooms, fold towels away pick up rubbish and sandwich bags off the floor the list endless. It p***** me off whilst I struggle to clear up their mess they sit their in the s*** like the houses on How Clean Is Your House the hoarders they are and just watch tv or go on the internet.

    Relatives only come round once as year as they feel uncomfortable to which my family's response is they are not bothered. I don't want to rent as it is dead money and flats are hassle. Am I best to get a house a.s.a.p as its is affecting me mentally.
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    Get out. ASAP. Crash at a friends house 'till you get sorted.
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    If you're having a crappy time at home then I'd try to get out.

    Getting a house is going to be a pretty big step if you just go into it straight away. Maybe you can stay somewhere else just for a bit?
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    Well, I sure hope you don't get a mental health illness in your lifetime, and that if you do those close to you don't just abandon you like you are your family.

    Ever considered your brother's OCD could be enough to be stressing your mother out? Not even taking into consideration that your father has issues too. I have OCD and while my mother coped differently and instead ploughed into getting me help and support, you have to appreciate we do all cope differently in these situations.
    • #2
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    I know how you feel.
    But even though it is dead money, it became essential for me to move out for my own mental health. I still go back fairly regularly and help out a bit but I rent my own room where I live now. You can still save slowly if you're good with your money.
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    Oh and I understand MovingOn, your family sounds like they do need your help as 'the stable sane one'. I always used to have to be the main worker in the house.
    There does come a point where you have to put yourself first, I know my parents don't want me to ruin my chances at my own life for their sake, they want me to be healthy and happy. You are 26 now, so I'd say it's not too unreasonable to put yourself first now if you have been helping them basically your lifetime so far.
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    (Original post by MovingOn)
    Well, I sure hope you don't get a mental health illness in your lifetime, and that if you do those close to you don't just abandon you like you are your family.

    Ever considered your brother's OCD could be enough to be stressing your mother out? Not even taking into consideration that your father has issues too. I have OCD and while my mother coped differently and instead ploughed into getting me help and support, you have to appreciate we do all cope differently in these situations.
    I know you don't desert your family, but I have tried everything by helping, reasoning with them but they refuse to help themselves or give respect back. I even try helping my brother by dropping him at the bus stop by my work so he can get to college quicker and it has resulted in me being late for work but he just doesn't care.
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    I really think you saying that renting is not a good idea because its 'dead money' is a bit silly. You obviously need to get out, so do it! Yes it will cost but hey, you'll be out and will probably be happier, then you can work towards your own house. People rent because they can't afford a house, but its something that has to be done.
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    Might sound odd, but it is actually a good time to buy a house as the value of it will go up in the future for sure.
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    The solution is to rent. You might think it's "dead money", but if your situation is so bad you should take that payment on the chin and deal with it. Ultimately the question is: what's worse, spending money on rent, or putting up with this home situation? If the family situation is so bad, you should be renting right away.

    FYI, it's actually a fallacy to assume that buying is somehow inherently preferable to renting. Often people who rent have far greater disposable income, which they invest in something faster-growing than a house, and which then gets them a higher net return than if they'd bought the house and sold on, even discounting for the rent they lost. Don't buy the English "must own a house and must never rent" propaganda, because in the end it might hurt you. It's certainly hurting you right now.
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    If you're that desperate to leave, then rent.
    It's not necessary to own your own house, and if you're unhappy about living at home, then it's you're only solution.
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    Anyone know any good websites which tell you the cost of running a home or renting?
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    Renting may be dead money but so is interest on the mortgage which may be even more destructive (with the potential to lose everything) depending on your situation.
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    Move out. This idea of rent being "dead money" is bull. You need somewhere to live where you can be happy. I'd say that's worth paying for.
    Or buy somewhere. I don't know how much you've saved so far but from what I gather you could already put up a decent deposit.
    But renting first will give you some experience of living on your own and taking on the responsibility of your own place before you go right ahead and buy somewhere.

    Either way, move the hell out.
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    I feel destroyed, just flushed the toilet and the bathroom has flooded with sewage with my mentally ill 21 year old brother laughing and said I should have unblocked it. Anyone recommend any good websites so I can stay at a hotel for a week cheaply after work.
 
 
 
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