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Privacy from boyfriend?

I dunno whether I should be annoyed at this or not... Whenever I'm with my boyfriend and I leave the room and my phone is with him, I come back and he's messing around with it, reading my messages, looking at photos or whatever. He doesn't hide the fact that he does it, and I haven't exactly anything to hide (I am faithful, etc.) However, I sometimes feel a little irked by this behaviour... Does he do it because he's nosy, genuinely interested or does he not trust me? Do I have a right to this kind of privacy after nearly 2 years of being together? I tell him everything. Advice please!

Reply 1

username18215

0

10

Well seeing as I know your boyfriend so well, I would say it is has more to do with his insecurities.

Reply 2

Katie_a7x

OP

Harr-di-harr.

Reply 3

DewyButtercup

Have you told him that this bugs you and ask him why he does it?

Reply 4

Katie_a7x

OP

I asked him what he was doing the first time and he got really upset like I thought he was doing something really bad, so I haven't mentioned it since, but he hasn't stopped doing it

Reply 5

Apricot_Bea

1

Probably being nosy as well as just wondering. I always look at my boyfriends phone, just out of curiosity. My boyfriend always looks at mine, however this is mighty annoying because he is as jealous as jealous gets and inquires over every little thing and makes me feel very uneasy though I have nothing to hide.

Just mention in it in a non threatening way, and stress that whilst it doesn't annoy you as such, you just wonder why he does it

Reply 6

Duck and Cover

15

No big deal!! I always look thru other peoples phones lol but obviously not if they have a problem with it!! And as far as he's concerned you don't, so...

Reply 7

hanadeka2002

Take it with you then?Or keep it turned off?If you're that bothered....

Reply 8

Catski

Personally I would hate that... however close I was to a boyfriend, there is no way that I would let him read my texts and so on.
It wouldn't be about what I had to hide, but just simple requirement for privacy. I honestly couldn't have one person in every area of my life.

Of course its different for everyone but if you don't like it, you need to explain that you need your personal privacy however close you are.

Reply 9

Beni

or sometimes I look at my friends phone just to see what new pictures they have taken ...but i don't go to the inbox and the rest of that sh**t cause that's privacy but for those who looks at me while am doing this ..will think that am nosy and don't mind my biz. so ure boyfriend might have been doing the same thing as me, so don't just jump to the conclusion !!

Reply 10

never_ending

12

Personally i always go through my boyfriend's and friend's phones, and they go through mine...it's just something to do if you're bored, or to look at their photos...no big deal, unless you have something to hide.

Reply 11

Robber's ghost

If someone leaves their phone near me I generally end up going through it. I'm not exactly curious or anything, it's just because it's there and I can. If it bothers you, let him know and he'll probably stop.

Reply 12

willey

4

never been a problem, my girlfriend reads my messages when ever she wants, i dont have a problem with it, i read her phone she has no problem with it either.

i dont hide anythin from my girlfriend and vice versa so we both have nothin to hide. dont see what the problem with readin ure partners phone is, if you tell them everythin anyway.

Reply 13

Helenia

20

It's very rude to read other people's correspondence without their permission though, regardless of whether they're hiding anything or not.

Reply 14

willey

4

from past experiences, where by i read an email that my ex girlfriend sent to one of her friends saying she basically did everything but sex a day before i went to visit her.

i dont care if they are private, was the best thing i did read her private email, saved me gettin more hurt if it carried on. i was right not to trust her, and so i read the email.

however i dont feel the need to do this with my girlfriend of now, as she tells me everything and beleive everything she says.

Reply 15

rachplatt

2

I have nothing to hide but I wouldn't like my boyfriend to read my texts, emails, letters or whatever. I even felt a bit :s-smilie:

when he joined on here and specifically looked at my posts (Hellloooo if you're reading this one! xxx). I have nothing to hide but I just think it's an invasion of privacy. I don't like my family/friends reading my texts and I wouldn't read other people's texts. If it bothers you, just explain to him that it does.

Reply 16

DewyButtercup

It isn't only invading your privacy when he reads through the messages, but who ever's messages he is reading as well. Even if you were cool with it (which you aren't) it would not be fair to the people who's messages he is reading- they may not be cool with it.

This problem doesn't deal with just privacy either- this is something that bothers you and when you mentioned it he flipped. Will he flip out everytime that there is a problem that you need to talk about or did he flip out over this because he is feeling guilty or akward about it in the first place?

Reply 17

lou p lou

2

i would let my bf read through my phone if he wanted but i think it's a sign of mistrust, he does read my messages occasionally but only with permission (like if i'm driving and it goes off i'll get him to read it me)

i think it's unfair on whoever sent it as well, we were in the pub a few weeks ago and me and my best mate went out to get chips and when we came back all the lads had read messages on her phone including ones from another friend who thought she might be pregnant... it just seems unfair that what people tell you in confidence could actually be found out by loads of people

lou xxx

Reply 18

Helenia

20

DewyButtercup

It isn't only invading your privacy when he reads through the messages, but who ever's messages he is reading as well. Even if you were cool with it (which you aren't) it would not be fair to the people who's messages he is reading- they may not be cool with it.

This is very true; what if there is something confidential from a friend that they do not want the world to know.

Reply 19

saz_1989

2

I'd let my boyfriend read my phone, and I think it's a good thing he reads it in front of you... I've read things on my bf's phone, and if he hadn't been there to explain about what the message meant, then I would have got pretty mad... At least he isn't doing it behind your back, and he's trying to deal with his insecurities.

Privacy from boyfriend?

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