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Bad relationship with my father watch

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    I haven't managed to get along well with my father in years, but everything got worse after my grandfather and then my grandmother passed away (the latter only a year ago...). It's his way or no way all of the time and it's really killing me, I feel like there's no point in doing anything nice for myself (e.g. having fun with my Brownie Guide group on a trip during the day) because as soon as I come home, he starts on at me, asking why haven't I done things, why I'm so lazy and irresponsible, lacking common sense...etc. I'm not allowed to suggest anything without express permission on rare occasions. It's as if I'm not supposed to think for myself, be a "perfect" daughter and always, ALWAYS do exactly as I'm told.

    Well, I'm just not like that. I'm not a puppet. I'm a good student and have come through A levels with AAB, which I'm happy with, but he thinks I should have had AAA (or A*A*A*). I like my independence, I like taking my Brownies out to have fun, I love to learn. But he wants me under his thumb, continuously. He even gets annoyed if I don't answer a text message when I'm horse riding (um...kind of difficult when I'm riding, I prefer to wait until I'm off the horse to deal with missed calls etc).

    He drinks excessively and often swears or barges into me when passing if I'm "in the way" - but only after a few beers or such. Things are always worse after he's been drinking. I do my best to stand up to him, but he seems to have some fault to throw back at me all the time, something nasty and vindictive to use against me. Has anyone else been in a situation like this? How did you deal with it? I'm going to university tomorrow and can only see things getting worse, as he will phone/text me continuously when I'm away, try to dictate how my time should be spent, what exactly I should eat and who I should talk to. How do I deal with this without an explosion? He was a terrible temper...

    I feel that he is trying to make me live the life he wanted to live.
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    No help, guys? My post wasn't that long...
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    are you at uni now?
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    How old are you hunni? Here's a site for the family of people with alcohol problems - http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

    Does your mum treat you well? Could you maybe talk to her about your father, and have her to back you up? I think you should definitely show him that the way he's treating you is wrong, and you won't accept it. The ONLY way he's ever gonna change, or even realise that he needs to change, is if you show him the way. If everything stays the same for him, and you treat him the same way, while he's treating you like this, where is the motivation for him to change?? Treat him like a child - show him that his bad behaviour has bad consequences for him.
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    i dnt think that he wants to purposely annoy you.

    wen was the last time u spoke about this, or is it too hard to bring up?
 
 
 
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