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What the hell happened to Relationships watch

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    (Original post by im so academic)
    What a nice man you must be.



    What kind of ******** answer is this?

    Oh, it's 2010 now, I guess sex with animals and children are OK then? :hmmm: Please don't give me the "they can't give consent" argument.

    OP, I totally get what you mean. It's just wholly disappointing.

    There's a lack of gentleman nowadays.

    (Original post by im so academic)
    I think the world would be a better place if we all reverted back to traditional values.
    What do you mean by 'traditional values'. Let me give you a brief history lesson, and this is the history lesson you weren't taught in school....

    Before religion, men and women were not 'monogamous'. Men and women existed in their natural state with no guilt attached to sex, and we were non-monogamous. The concept of monogamous relationships didn't exist. Humans were (and still are) non-monogamous by nature.

    Monogamy only entered the equation later, when religion came into play, in order to control society through fear. People attached guilt to sex, and this was when the concepts of monogamous relationships and marriage were structured to keep people under control. The church told people that it was 'against their religion' to not be monogamous and that they would 'go to hell' if they had non-monogamous relationships, and people believed it and fell for this lie due to fear.

    But peoples' desires did not go away, humans were still non-monogamous BY NATURE during this period, although they went along with the concept of monogamy because they feared the consequences if they didn't.

    Fast forward to the 21st century. No longer are we a state controlled by religion, we are 'liberated' and free to make our own choices about sex. We can choose whether we have long-term or short-term relationships, monogamous or non-monogamous, and there is no 'right' or 'wrong' here. We have reverted back to our state of non-monogamy to some extent, but also we are hanging onto guilt attached to us from the time when religion forced monogamy upon us. This is why many people still attach shame or guilt to sex and casual relationships, despite there being no logical reason to feel this shame or guilt.

    YOU have been brainwashed by society to believe 'monogamy is right, anything else is wrong or not gentlemanly'. This is hogwash!

    I think the world would be a better place if we humans were honest with ourselves and other about the types of relationships we truly wanted, and then went ahead and enjoyed them without guilt.

    This idea that 'we should revert back to traditional values' is ********. What the hell are 'traditional values' anyway? You mean monogamy? As I stated, there are FOUR types of possible relationship between a man and a woman (not including platonic friendship) and not just a 'steady monogamous relationship'.

    ALL my relationships are based on honesty, trust and respect, regardless of whether they are long-term, short-term, monogamous or non-monogamous.

    I've seen plenty of 'monogamous relationships' NOT built on honesty, trust and respect but rather on dishonesty, mistrust and disrespect.

    It doesn't matter whether the relationship is long-term, short-term, monogamous, non-monogamous etc...these are just labels. What DOES matter is the 2 people like each other as people and sexually and the relationship is built on honesty, trust and respect. If you have these things, who gives a **** what you 'label' the relationship as or whether it is 'monogamous' etc.

    It's the 21st century and things have changed. Monogamy is only ONE way, not the ONLY way and it's not for everyone, including me.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    So I'm guessing you're OK with the idea of let's say, me ******* a 5 year old kid or a goat, right?

    After all, it's fine for me. :dunce:

    Some people just have no standards when it comes to relationships.
    Do you know what a straw-man argument is?

    I am not "OK" with anything. Other people's relationships are not my concern. They are solely the responsibility of those persons involved.

    My standards apply to my relationships and my relationships only.
    You presumably have your own standards.

    It is foolish to demand that everyone else thinks like yourself.
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    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    x
    How shallow and hedonistic of you.

    I'm guessing all you care in life is just to have as much sex with as much women as possible.

    How on earth can a girl trust a man who believes in non-monogamous relationships knowing he believes that cheating is right? In fact in your case, there is no concept of "cheating".
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    (Original post by JGR)
    Do you know what a straw-man argument is?

    I am not "OK" with anything. Other people's relationships are not my concern. They are solely the responsibility of those persons involved.

    My standards apply to my relationships and my relationships only.
    You presumably have your own standards.

    It is foolish to demand that everyone else thinks like yourself.
    You did not answer my question, so I'll assume you encourage paedophilia and zoophilia providing it doesn't affect you or your so-called "conscience".

    Put it this way, I have standards, you have no standards of your own.

    I am disappointed in Britain.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    You did not answer my question, so I'll assume you encourage paedophilia and zoophilia providing it doesn't affect you or your so-called "conscience".

    Put it this way, I have standards, you have no standards of your own.

    I am disappointed in Britain.
    Ridiculous assumptions, logical fallacies, and appeals to emotion do not make an argument.
    Try again.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    How shallow and hedonistic of you.

    I'm guessing all you care in life is just to have as much sex with as much women as possible.
    No, I have more important things in my life than sex. Relationships and sex are just ONE part of my life.

    (Original post by im so academic)
    How on earth can a girl trust a man who believes in non-monogamous relationships knowing he believes that cheating is right? In fact in your case, there is no concept of "cheating".
    Your thinking and understanding is all messed up and flawed....

    Where did I ever say cheating is right? Don't put words into my mouth.

    Let me set you straight. If a man and a woman agree to being in a monogamous relationship and then either party sleeps with someone else behind their back, then yes this is cheating.

    HOWEVER, if the man and woman agree upfront to a non-monogamous relationship, and either party sleeps with someone else then it is NOT cheating because they never agreed to be 'exclusively committed' to each other in the first place.

    So, you can ONLY cheat on someone if you're in a monogamous relationship. If you're in a non-monogamous relationship, then cheating by definition doesn't exist because it's not cheating to see someone else.

    I'm always 100% upfront and honest with women that I'm looking for a non-monogamous relationship, and they are free to walk away if that is not what they want.

    Honesty leads to trust, so because I'm honest, people find it easy to trust me.

    Your argument is flawed and faulty. You believe it's somehow wrong to have non-monogamous relationships. It's only 'wrong' to have a non-monogamous relation if you're not honest about it with the women you're seeing. If you're honest about it and she's cool with it, then it's fine.
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    I prefer relationships which involve having lots of sex
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    (Original post by Davezk)
    I prefer relationships which involve having lots of sex
    Me too! And a lot of monogamous relationships/marriages become devoid of sex after routine and boredom sets in and the girl starts using sex to control the guy. So a 'monogamous relationship' is no guarantee of sex.
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    Relationships are supposed to be monogamous,
    No they're not. In who's mind? In who's opinion? This is YOUR opinion, or rather the opinion you've been fed and led to believe by your church/society/the media etc. But your opinion is NOT fact. You stte your opinion as if it is fact when it is NOT.

    Relationships can be monogamous OR non-monogamous, and it is up to the individual to make up their own mind what best suits them. There is no right or wrong.

    (Original post by im so academic)
    Traditional values: first and foremost - monogamous. Sex only in a long-term relationship (not any of this ******** ONSs), one marriage only, no divorce, no cheating etc.
    WRONG! Honesty trust and respect first and foremost. Sex only with people who are mutually attracted to one another.

    And if more people had no non-monogamous relationships, there would be no cheating, no divorce etc. Problem solved.

    The biggest caused of cheating is monogamous relationships. And the biggest cause of divorce is marriage. And the biggest cause of monogamous relationships and marriage is religion and societal brainwashing.
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    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    Me too! And a lot of monogamous relationships/marriages become devoid of sex after routine and boredom sets in and the girl starts using sex to control the guy. So a 'monogamous relationship' is no guarantee of sex.
    Boredom doesn't set in when the sex is amazing :p:
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    (Original post by Beadle's About)
    Is that really true? I don't see many people on here getting regular one night stands or pulling regularly. All I see is people who are insecure and too scared to talk to the opposite sex, or people who are having other dating/relationship problems.

    And most men between 18 and 30 deep down desire sex with a variety of females. It's the way we're wired. Many of the guys in this age range who get into monogamous relationships do so because they lack the skill or confidence to pull different women consistently, so they latch onto the first girl who likes them. Deep down, though, they still desire multiple partners.
    I guess that makes sense, tbf that's guys on here of course they wouldn't :rolleyes: plus there's no point to brag about it on the internet.
    I actually desire a relationship more and although what you said about guys latching onto the first girl they see might be true for some people, I wouldn't ever go out with someone who I wasn't extremely attracted to. And I think most guys wouldn't either

    What do you mean by 'actual relationships'? I presume you mean 'monogamous relationship'? But there are other types of relationships too. I categorize all relationships into one of the following categories:-

    Long term or short term?

    Monogamous or non-monogamous?

    So, as you can see, there are 4 possible types of relationship that a man and woman can have (not including platonic friendships). You need to be more specific when you use the term 'actual relationship'.

    For a relationship to be regarded as an 'actual relationship', it has to be one based on honesty, trust and respect as the foundation between two people who enjoy sharing each others' company, both sexually and non-sexually. As long as these conditions are fulfilled, then it can be considered an 'actual relationship' and it doesn't matter if it's long-term or short-term, monogamous or non-monogamous.

    For me, I prefer non-monogamous relationships. They can be either long-term or short-term, as long as they are non-monogamous. I don't like monogamous relationships, but fair play to anyone who does.

    You sound like you're on your high horse looking down on people who don't want monogamous relationships, but it's 2010 now and people are liberated and free to make the choices that best suit them.
    I meant relationships in general. I didn't mean to sound like I'm looking down on people, I've had One Night Stands before and I've enjoyed them so that would be hypocritical but, I'm asking whether the culture has changed in the past few years regarding sexual relationships.
    Everyones free to do what they want and I don't care about the choices they make I'm just curious, that's all
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    (Original post by im so academic)
    There's a lack of gentleman nowadays. I think the world would be a better place if we all reverted back to traditional values.
    I don't think we should revert to traditional values, I'm happier the way we are now, I'm just asking if there has been social change.
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    (Original post by Deadlifts)
    This rant is kind of inspired by this thread - http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=1425795 and others I've seen recently.

    What ever happened to relationships, at Univerisity, with me and my mates and even on the threads on TSR (mainly the ***** PUA ones), I notice that people (men and women) seem set on having one night stands or going out and getting laid, yet few people are interested in having a relationship with a partner.
    Maybe I'm just old (I'm 19) and boring but, I prefer having sex with a girl I'm going out with to One Night Stands. Also, it seems that the majority of people in relationships actually started from one night stands.

    So what do you peeps prefer, getting laid or actual relationships? Obviously I'm generalising but, it seems like there's been a shift in culture over the past few years (which has happened) especially with sexual relationships.
    yea so many folk are totally immoral. i totall agree with the bold too, all of my friends ltr's started out that way. what can i say. find yourself a nice catholic girl and settle down. the reason it is like you describe is cos at uni no-on is look ing to settle down, too many hormones and too many hot young ones around
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    (Original post by Davezk)
    I prefer relationships which involve having lots of sex
    This.
 
 
 
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