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    (Original post by babygirl110)
    Count yourself lucky to even have a nan, it was so horrible losing my nan who I well and truly appreciated. We were so distraught (siblings, cousins and I) .
    It would have been my sisters 17th birthday today, I am not close to my gran at all. I know it's a horrible thing to say but if I could swap them I would. That just shows you how close we are. I would never expect someone who wasn't in my immediate family (i.e husbands/kids) to pay that amount of money on me, especially when I could afford it myself.
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    I can't honestly believe that some people think it'd be OK for someone to spend 100s of pounds on them on a holiday and not even think of paying for at least some of it :s
    Maybe it's the way I was brought up? Though id think it was common sense
    She raised one of your parents for 18+ years so I don't see it unfair that she expects it's free. It's only unfair if she knows that they are struggling with money.

    When I'm older and offer my mum to come on holiday with me I would pay for her to come along, I wouldn't expect her to pay.
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    :facepalm2:

    The number of cheap people who don't give a **** about their family is insane. The same people would spend several times the amount of buying pointless **** for their boyfriend/girlfriend who wouldn't give a **** about them a few years (or months) from now.
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    well let thi be a lesson to you if you invite someone somewhere tell them how much it is going to cost so they get the idea they have to pay if you just invite someone and never mention a price etc they will see it as a gift also going on a holiday for £1k each just shows how poor they really are... oh no we can't go on holiday without taking our solid gold private jet gran you have to stay at home
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    (Original post by Singularity)
    I hate to admit it, but I lol'd.
    That's the aim :P As if it is meant to be taken seriously... but some people prefer to emo rage at it.
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    Isn't buying things we can't afford what got us all into a financial mess in the first place? Take a cheaper holiday.
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    I can't honestly believe that some people think it'd be OK for someone to spend 100s of pounds on them on a holiday and not even think of paying for at least some of it :s
    Maybe it's the way I was brought up? Though id think it was common sense
    Ever heard of a gift? It's when one party provides goods or services to another party without necessarily expecting compensation either in the form of other goods & services or currency. Gifts are often used as a token of friendship, thanks, or respect.
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    (Original post by Dirac Delta Function)
    Are you laughing as hard as I am?
    Dumbfounded more than anything, shiz is crazy
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    Nah, I just don't know how she could expect my dad to spend a thousand pound on her. (yes, it is that much each.)
    First off OP - you're full of crap :yes: It's funny how up until now, you've maintained that the holiday was 'a few hundred quid' and now you're saying it's a thousand. STFU.

    Secondly, if your parents offered to take her on holiday, your Grandma probably assumed that she wouldn't need to pay, I doubt she is doing it to be selfish or whatever else you said about her. Show some respect FFS.
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    It would have been my sisters 17th birthday today, I am not close to my gran at all. I know it's a horrible thing to say but if I could swap them I would. That just shows you how close we are. I would never expect someone who wasn't in my immediate family (i.e husbands/kids) to pay that amount of money on me, especially when I could afford it myself.

    Yes but obviously your Gran can't afford that :facepalm: OP what is wrong with you ?!
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    (Original post by sarahthegemini)
    Yes but obviously your Gran can't afford that :facepalm: OP what is wrong with you ?!
    she can afford it, she is on a steady income and lives alone :/ its a thousand, my dad told me it was. :s maybe i forgot to put an extra 0 in one of my posts, now please get off your high moral horse.
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    Nah, I just don't know how she could expect my dad to spend a thousand pound on her. (yes, it is that much each.)
    Was she invited? From what I've read it seems so its understandable why she thinks its a christmas gift. If your parents are hiding the money troubles away from her then I cant see you having any point. If on the otherhand she asked to come then you would have a point. That said, my Paternal Grandmother died when I was 6 months old - so I didnt have the proper chance to get to know her so be grateful you have your Gran.

    Plus I guess by your reckoning its reasonable for you to give her all the money she's spent on you
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    I'm kind of in two minds. You don't give to receive, and it's not unreasonable to assume that by inviting her, part of that is covering the costs and it's a gift. Indeed, some people would be offended if the recipient of a gift started trying to pay for everything. But not many people, and it is nice to at least offer. I dunno, I think when you invite someone somewhere like that, you have to assume you're paying for it and take it that in the worst case, you're paying for everything.

    You haven't been yet, maybe she's going to pay for food for everyone, or petrol money, closer to the time? I think if I were invited on holiday, I wouldn't give a lump sum unless I were asked to contribute, but I'd be paying lots of out-of-pocket expenses when we got there. I'd probably make it clear that I planned to do that earlier though. I'd probably be miffed if something I saw as effectively a gift was causing bad blood because I hadn't contributed where I wasn't asked to. Maybe that's how she sees it?

    Weird how loads of the anti-OP posts are making lots of assumptions about the grandmother though. I'm not commenting on the OP's grandmother in particular here, but you can't really assume anything about people's families. To say she's sweet, and has raised and cared for someone, paid loads over the years simply might not be true. Some people have awful experiences with grandparents, parents, etc. You can choose your friends, after all...
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    It would have been my sisters 17th birthday today, I am not close to my gran at all. I know it's a horrible thing to say but if I could swap them I would. That just shows you how close we are. I would never expect someone who wasn't in my immediate family (i.e husbands/kids) to pay that amount of money on me, especially when I could afford it myself.
    Your parent is her kid, and immediate family.
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    I think it's fair to assume that OP's grandmother has spent copious amounts of money on one of her parents, as said parent is still alive/not estranged from the grandmother.

    So gran probably sees it as a gift.
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    It's my mum & dads 25th wedding anniversary, so we're going on holiday.
    My dad didn't want to leave her on her own at christmas (when we're going) so he said she could come. Though they can't really afford it, she has offered no money for any of it! Which I find extremely rude! They're even having to borrow money off me.
    Anyways, I'm not that close to her at all but I want to say something to her about it. Thoughts?
    She spent much more than that on your parents when they were growing up, don't you think?
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    Show some respect to your gran
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    I can't honestly believe that some people think it'd be OK for someone to spend 100s of pounds on them on a holiday and not even think of paying for at least some of it :s
    Maybe it's the way I was brought up? Though id think it was common sense
    Yeh and who do you think your parents learned from how to bring someone up well...?! I will tell you since you clearly seem clueless... uhh Your Nan!

    Has it ever occurred to you that she hasnt even asked for this? NO, thought not. Also, perhaps you`d care to give a second`s thought to the fact that it`s going to be fun for real, going on holiday with someone who obviously resents her as much as you do.

    I bet she supported you and your family in ways you were not even aware of when you were younger, how about you give her the same courtesy now.

    It was a kind thought of your rents to not want to leave her alone at Christmas, but that doesnt mean she can afford to go.

    You talk about the way you were brought up, well if you bring your kids up the same way,****ging off your elder family member, one day their kids will have the same attitude to you!

    Think about it.
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    (Original post by Psycho0101)
    :facepalm2:

    The number of cheap people who don't give a **** about their family is insane. The same people would spend several times the amount of buying pointless **** for their boyfriend/girlfriend who wouldn't give a **** about them a few years (or months) from now.
    This.
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    (Original post by sauce)
    It annoys me when grandparents/old people are like that as in the younger generation have so much money and can afford everything ffs. A bit of consideration would be nice maybe just offering part of the money towards the trip. My grandparents always offer money when they go away with us and even if we don't accept it it's a nice gesture. I feel your pain! But I wouldn't be able to approach her about it. Awwwkward
    Ditto to this. I can understand from this point of view what the OP is getting at. My Gran is exactly the same - she lives in Jamaica, her daughter (my mum has been here over 30+years). She believes that because she is in a ''rich'' country, she can ask for what she wants and then just give it away. The amount of things my mum use to send to her, only to find out that my Gran has either given it away, destroyed it - simply just taking the piss. My mum no longer sends her things as she can't afford it anymore, but my Gran doesn't make use of it and feeds the whole district where she lives!

    (Original post by pamelaa)
    Nah, I just don't know how she could expect my dad to spend a thousand pound on her. (yes, it is that much each.)
    Sorry to be nosey, but where on earth are you going that costs £1k each?? . . .:/
 
 
 
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