Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by jmenkus)
    Ever heard of a gift? It's when one party provides goods or services to another party without necessarily expecting compensation either in the form of other goods & services or currency. Gifts are often used as a token of friendship, thanks, or respect.
    :rofl: I feel sorry for OP, because she clearly has no compassion
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pamelaa)
    It would have been my sisters 17th birthday today, I am not close to my gran at all. I know it's a horrible thing to say but if I could swap them I would. That just shows you how close we are. I would never expect someone who wasn't in my immediate family (i.e husbands/kids) to pay that amount of money on me, especially when I could afford it myself.
    I'm not particularly close to my other grand mother, she's never really been a grand mother to me as compared to my other nan I lost but still I'd never resent or begrudge my dad for paying got her holiday. It's none of my business. At the end of the day she's his mother.

    You have to be careful not to get into a vicious cycle, it would seem your grand mother wasn't such a nice person and this has been passed onto you. How will you like it when your grand children treat you that way in the future because they sure will unless you change your attitude.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pamelaa)
    she can afford it, she is on a steady income and lives alone :/ its a thousand, my dad told me it was. :s maybe i forgot to put an extra 0 in one of my posts, now please get off your high moral horse.

    Youre on a pretty high horse yourself! It sounds like youre spending her money for her!!
    Offline

    11
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Remarqable M)
    :rofl: I feel sorry for OP, because she clearly has no compassion
    I mean, really. What's next, 'Gran hasn't paid for help in crossing road'? 'Gran hasn't paid for Christmas card'? :rolleyes:
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    There are thousands of people without Grandparents who deeply miss them. You don't deserve one. If your parents are un happy about it let them tell her. Why are you sticking you big head in. Are you paying for yourself.


    You make me sick
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    Woah woah woah. It seems people here are pretty angry with the OP. OP I know where you're coming from, if your gran does have a pension, and she does get some money, she should at least pay SOMETHING, if a tiny bit, towards going on holiday. However if she didn't think she was going to pay, then just don't worry about it, not much you can do really.

    No point resenting the OP for disrespecting her Gran, because she hasn't done so.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    If your parents are in financial hardship then surely they should have taken a cheaper holiday? Or if they still decided to go where they are going and are inviting your gran along then surely they should have told her the cost and that they expected her to pay her own way?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Gran hasn't paid for her holiday, how about paying her for the gift of life? (As in your parents / you) If she dies in a few weeks your gonna be like

    "Gran hasn't paid for her funeral"
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    OP I believe that you could possibly be jumping to conclusions; it is evident that you probably do not know the entire story, the Gran may be paying for expenses incurred whilst away. Furthermore, how can you begrudge the spending considering it is your parents decision to invite her. Family is more important than money, you should stop considering this as insulting and try and show some empathy for the person you would be leaving alone over christmas.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Matthew_Lowson)
    Was she invited? From what I've read it seems so its understandable why she thinks its a christmas gift. If your parents are hiding the money troubles away from her then I cant see you having any point. If on the otherhand she asked to come then you would have a point. That said, my Paternal Grandmother died when I was 6 months old - so I didnt have the proper chance to get to know her so be grateful you have your Gran.

    Plus I guess by your reckoning its reasonable for you to give her all the money she's spent on you
    You just presume that... The most I get from my gran is 40 quid at xmas when I was younger my mum wanted to work part time and asked her to look after me and my sis, but she say no despite having looked after my other cousin for months.
    My dad didn't have the greatest upbringing either, living in rat infested tenements.
    I don't know why you have just presumed she is all loving sweetness, cause she is sure as hell not and I'd rather shed not come but since its christmas I don't think anyone deserves to be alone really, I just thought it would be manners to at least offer to pay for some of it.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pamelaa)
    You just presume that... The most I get from my gran is 40 quid at xmas when I was younger my mum wanted to work part time and asked her to look after me and my sis, but she say no despite having looked after my other cousin for months.
    My dad didn't have the greatest upbringing either, living in rat infested tenements.
    I don't know why you have just presumed she is all loving sweetness, cause she is sure as hell not and I'd rather shed not come but since its christmas I don't think anyone deserves to be alone really, I just thought it would be manners to at least offer to pay for some of it.

    I can understand how your parents would be unwilling to spend such an amount on your gran, especially seeing as they're not rolling in money themselves and your gran perhaps wasn't the most caring and charitable of women. I still think that perhaps they should have mentioned that they expected her to pay in the first place. However, you mentioned if she didn't go she'd be alone for christmas, could your dad not talk to your cousins or her other sons/daughters (sorry, i can't remember if you specified), and see if she could go to their house for christmas?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Think of it this way. Your parents spent thousands of pounds on random stuff like clothes and food simply raising you, they don't expect the money back, your grand parents did the same for them. A few hundred on a holiday is nothing really, surprises me how shallow some people are.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Let’s say you do bring it up with her, what would that achieve? So she might pay, but it would also put a strain on your relationship, and therefore make the holiday awkward... Yeah, that seems exactly what your parents would want for a trip they’ve obviously spent a lot of money on.
    If your parents need the money, let them bring it up with her, but you should just stay out of it, unless your parents, the ones whose anniversary it is and are paying for the trip, ask you to get involved.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Although I agree with the general trend of the thread. I have to say this is why you never ask for advice/opinions on TSR. It's sad how many are just complete ass holes. (This is directed at the people who felt the need to insult the OP when they gave their opinion)

    Why can't people just give their opinion without adding "btw your a idiot for being like that/thinking like that. or any other childish insult they decide to add.

    You can really tell that the majority of the people here are teenagers. It's a shame since there are quite a lot of decent guys/gals on TSR.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by adam271)
    Although I agree with the general trend of the thread. I have to say this is why you never ask for advice/opinions on TSR. It's sad how many are just complete ass holes. (This is directed at the people who felt the need to insult the OP when they gave their opinion)

    Why can't people just give their opinion without adding "btw your a idiot for being like that/thinking like that. or any other childish insult they decide to add.

    You can really tell that the majority of the people here are teenagers. It's a shame since there are quite a lot of decent guys/gals on TSR.
    Because, quite simply, that is *part* of their opinion.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by pamelaa)
    It's my mum & dads 25th wedding anniversary, so we're going on holiday.
    My dad didn't want to leave her on her own at christmas (when we're going) so he said she could come. Though they can't really afford it, she has offered no money for any of it! Which I find extremely rude! They're even having to borrow money off me.
    Anyways, I'm not that close to her at all but I want to say something to her about it. Thoughts?
    If a family member asked me if I wanted to go on holiday with them, I would assume that it would be at their cost tbh, it's not like I would have asked to come.
    • #2
    #2

    are you paying for yourself? if not, are you sure your parents arent *****ing about YOU on some internet forum and complaining you're not offering to pay?
    Offline

    14
    (Original post by babygirl110)
    I find it such a shame the way people in this country anticipate their inheritance
    Especially when the Inheritance Tax hits and you're left with **** all.

    OP - I think you're being very unfair. Pensioners don't have a lot of money (unless you're a "retired" politician or you worked at RBS - even then, Fred Goodwin doesn't have half the money the media says he does) and your grandmother has done a lot for you and your family.

    If you were my daughter, I'd leave you at home and take gran instead - she was in this world long before you were. It's your God given right to go with them, is it? It's their wedding anniversary after all.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ch0llima)

    OP - I think you're being very unfair. Pensioners don't have a lot of money (unless you're a "retired" politician or you worked at RBS - even then, Fred Goodwin doesn't have half the money the media says he does) and your grandmother has done a lot for you and your family.

    You ungrateful cow. If you were my daughter, I'd leave you at home and take gran instead - she was in this world long before you were.
    LOL I love the contrast between the tone of either paragraph!
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by mel0n)
    Not everyone relies on their grandparents anyway :confused: that doesn't mean you talk about them like that :erm: and 'done anything for us' - who the hell wiped your parent's arse and bought him/her up? Did they do it themselves? No.
    (Original post by ?!master?!mini?!)
    :congrats: *****

    Think about all the things that she did for your parents? or even you?
    Sorry but this is rubbish ^^ How the hell do you lot know what she "did" for people? Do you know her? Or do you assume she's wonderful because she's a grandparent?

    My grandma is 91 and whilst I love her unconditionally, she can be a vicious matriarchal bully who regularly brings my mother to tears. Yeah she brought her up and "wiped her arse" as mel0n so eloquently put it, she's still a very callous woman who has made family life incredibly difficult. And my grandfather took delight in calling my mother a "loser" and a "failure" at any given opportunity.

    (Original post by Spexzzz)
    Gran hasn't paid for her holiday, how about paying her for the gift of life? (As in your parents / you) If she dies in a few weeks your gonna be like

    "Gran hasn't paid for her funeral"
    No one asks to be given the "gift of life". I didnt realise you had to be permanently in debt to your elders just for being born :rolleyes:

    (Original post by Matthew_Lowson)
    Plus I guess by your reckoning its reasonable for you to give her all the money she's spent on you
    Again, how do you know what she's "spent"? Are we now assuming that grandparents magically give their children and grandchildren lots of pretty shiny things? The only things my paternal grandmother gave me were stolen goods from NEXT.

    Sorry guys, I partly agree with you, but I dont know where you're pulling all these shining examples from when you dont even know the bloody woman. Just because she's a grandparent doesnt make her intrinsically wonderful.
 
 
 
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 3, 2010
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.