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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    It's my mum & dads 25th wedding anniversary, so we're going on holiday.
    My dad didn't want to leave her on her own at christmas (when we're going) so he said she could come. Though they can't really afford it, she has offered no money for any of it! Which I find extremely rude! They're even having to borrow money off me.
    Anyways, I'm not that close to her at all but I want to say something to her about it. Thoughts?

    Don't be mean, she's old and probably can't afford to contribute and/ or doesn't even realise she's meant to pay for herself. It's really down to your mum and dad's decision to make it a family holiday - they could have gone off on their own and left you to look after granny all Christmas instead! So maybe count your blessings? :o:
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    It would have been nice for her to offer to pay some of it, but you're saying your parents don't have money. Without being rude, shouldn't they do something else for their anniversary instead? Also, if your grandma was invited short notice, I doubt she'd have spare money lying around to enjoy on things like that. Also, she's a pensioner and unlikely to have much money.
    I think you're being a little harsh here...
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    I have no idea why people on here tend to assume that grandparents are angels who deserve to be waited on. Sometimes they're a complete liability with human and nasty vindictive flaws just like the rude and nasty young. Anyway, if they can't afford it then they need to tell her, she's old enough to understand.
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    (Original post by TAPSmith)
    Furthermore, how can you begrudge the spending considering it is your parents decision to invite her. Family is more important than money, you should stop considering this as insulting and try and show some empathy for the person you would be leaving alone over christmas.
    This
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    The holiday has been paid for (I assume, since your parents have borrowed money off you). This holiday is happening and if you say something you will either offend the gran so much that she decides not to come, making your parents feel guilty; you will offend the gran but she will come and the holiday will be really awkward and unpleasant; the gran will pay up but it will still be really awkward between her and your parents and her and you.

    So whichever, you will ensure not only that your parents are paying for a holiday they can't afford, but for an unpleasant holiday they'd rather not be on and a ruined 25th anniversary. Even if she pays, you will still ruin their anniversary and make sure that the holiday is so awkward that they've wasted their money. Your parents will not thank you, so stay out of it.
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    I can't wait for her grandchildren to leave her behind on Christmas because she can't afford it.
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    It's my mum & dads 25th wedding anniversary, so we're going on holiday.
    My dad didn't want to leave her on her own at christmas (when we're going) so he said she could come. Though they can't really afford it, she has offered no money for any of it! Which I find extremely rude! They're even having to borrow money off me.
    Anyways, I'm not that close to her at all but I want to say something to her about it. Thoughts?
    Was it obvious... or mentioned that she would need to pay? Perhaps she hasn't even realised?
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    (Original post by 4TSR)
    I can't wait for her grandchildren to leave her behind on Christmas because she can't afford it.
    Yeah, she sounds a horrible girl. Reminds me so much of my flatmate. All about me me me. If she treats her own grand parent that way, she's not going to treat her grand children any better and they will treat her the same way she is treating her nan.

    Gosh, what a spoilt brat.
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    Well...does she really want to come?
    You're not asking her to come because you want to enjoy her company, it's just because you don't want to leave her on her own.
    I don't think you're being selfish or disrespectful at all, you're already giving money to your parents and you want to help them. But I think this is a job for them to handle, your grandmother might not take it well coming from you (grandchild telling her to pay up...).
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    (Original post by Antonia87)
    Sorry but this is rubbish ^^ How the hell do you lot know what she "did" for people? Do you know her? Or do you assume she's wonderful because she's a grandparent?

    My grandma is 91 and whilst I love her unconditionally, she can be a vicious matriarchal bully who regularly brings my mother to tears. Yeah she brought her up and "wiped her arse" as mel0n so eloquently put it, she's still a very callous woman who has made family life incredibly difficult. And my grandfather took delight in calling my mother a "loser" and a "failure" at any given opportunity.
    That's a good enough reason in my opinion even if she's a meanie. PLUS OP never mentioned ANYTHING about her gran, until we started posting comments so stfu.

    OP is also only 19 years old. How old are her parents and grandparents. How does she know what happened between the parents and grandparents before she was born? She obviously hasn't said yet. Please enlighten me.
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    now please get off your high moral horse.
    whats a moral horse
    lol fail
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    I can't honestly believe that some people think it'd be OK for someone to spend 100s of pounds on them on a holiday and not even think of paying for at least some of it :s
    Maybe it's the way I was brought up? Though id think it was common sense
    Have you heard the full story? You nan may have offered to pay at some point but you wasn't there to hear it.

    I agree with what you say though, she shouldn't take for granted that its being payed for.
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    You just presume that... The most I get from my gran is 40 quid at xmas when I was younger my mum wanted to work part time and asked her to look after me and my sis, but she say no despite having looked after my other cousin for months.
    My dad didn't have the greatest upbringing either, living in rat infested tenements.
    I don't know why you have just presumed she is all loving sweetness, cause she is sure as hell not and I'd rather shed not come but since its christmas I don't think anyone deserves to be alone really, I just thought it would be manners to at least offer to pay for some of it.
    I cannot believe you evaluate and appraise the amount of money you get from people. I would only have been grateful to have even received £5 from my nan whom I lost. Even better, I would have just appreciated her company rather than her send me money. All the school holidays I spent at my nan's with my siblings and cousins were priceless and moments I will never forget.

    Maybe circumstances didn't permit her to look after you, she might have really needed the money. You shouldn't begrudge her for not looking after you as you don't know what her circumstances were.

    Should your dad resent her just because he was brought up in poverty and rat infested dwellings or should he just be happy that they got out of that trap?

    I still can't believe you would **** off your gran over money, it's such a shame really and a sad reflection of the times .
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    think you should show some respect and stop expecting things to be put on a plate
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    You just presume that... The most I get from my gran is 40 quid at xmas when I was younger my mum wanted to work part time and asked her to look after me and my sis, but she say no despite having looked after my other cousin for months.
    My dad didn't have the greatest upbringing either, living in rat infested tenements.
    I don't know why you have just presumed she is all loving sweetness, cause she is sure as hell not and I'd rather shed not come but since its christmas I don't think anyone deserves to be alone really, I just thought it would be manners to at least offer to pay for some of it.


    me me me me me

    how about thinking about others just this once?
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    (Original post by pamelaa)
    You just presume that... The most I get from my gran is 40 quid at xmas when I was younger my mum wanted to work part time and asked her to look after me and my sis, but she say no despite having looked after my other cousin for months.
    My dad didn't have the greatest upbringing either, living in rat infested tenements.
    I don't know why you have just presumed she is all loving sweetness, cause she is sure as hell not and I'd rather shed not come but since its christmas I don't think anyone deserves to be alone really, I just thought it would be manners to at least offer to pay for some of it.
    But if she's been invited - thats my point. If she had said 'would you mind if I came?' then I can see your point entirely.

    The most I get from my gran is 40 quid at xmas
    How ungrateful can you get £40 is a lot of money and I'd be grateful for something like that? Your 19 so £500-600 she's spent on you alone? Why dont you pass some of that back to her?

    If she's invited then I see the reasoning behind why she thinks she doesnt have to pay. Did you discuss this with her before ****ging her off on here? If you said to her, Gran, Dads a bit short could you put in £200 or £300 then you never know she might put something in. But unless you ask her, then I struggle to see your point unless she's asked herself to go.

    (Original post by Antonia87)
    Read your message
    note here that she says she gets 40 quid from her Gran at christmas
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    Just a thought, if it's that much money for you all to go on holiday at Christmas, why can't your parents go a couple of weeks later, when 1) it might be cheaper and 2) there won't be the worry of Gran being on her own at Christmas, as you will all be at home...

    ..no?
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    (Original post by vpsycho)
    I'm pretty sure that if you're referring to her as 'gran', then she's most likely a pensioner. She doesn't have money coming out of her arse.
    She's had a lifetime to save some money, though.
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    (Original post by Antonia87)

    No one asks to be given the "gift of life". I didnt realise you had to be permanently in debt to your elders just for being born :rolleyes:
    Still, if that was me and i was low on money id still take my nan, unfourtuntly both my nans are dead so :eek3:. It amazing how people can be pretty selfish, if the OP loved her nan and was really close she wouldnt care about the money. *granma's voice" "Kids these day, in my day...".

    Yeah :cool:
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    :hmmm: Are you paying for yourself OP?
 
 
 
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