Hi,
This is a problem that has been going on for the whole of our relationship (about a year and a half) and it goes through phases of causing lots of problems, which is happening right now.
My boyfriend admits he has an obsession with anal. I have no problem with anal itself but we've tried it a couple of times and it's really not for me, and every time has ended up with my getting upset and him getting angry with himself for doing that to me, even when it was my idea.
The problem is that when we're having normal sex all he can think of is anal, and what he could be doing instead of just being in my vagina, and it kills the mood, partly because he doesn't enjoy it and partly because he feels guilty for thinking of other things and not being happy with regular sex.
How do we sort this out? I've said we can try anal again but the truth is I'm really not comfortable with it and REALLY hate it no matter how hard I try, and am really not comfortable with me/him playing with me there to begin with. But as it is it's ruining our sex life. He wants to be able to not think about it but can't control his thoughts.
Thanks for your help x