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obsessed with ex-gf, how can I get over her?
ok I hope this is allowed on TSR, im gonna link to my livejournal because ive posted everything on there, u can either comment there or here I dont mind. I know keeping busy would help, but im at a new uni, dont really have anybody who is a close friend, etc, cheers if anybody has been through something similar, whatever you post im sure it'll help a bit
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Mate if you're chucking stuff at her window it's got to stop. You just have to tell yourself it's not happening, simple as that. It will negatively affect your social life at University and then you won't even have people to turn to for support. Just accept it. Stop ringing, stop trying to see her, get involved in activities; sports, Uni societies, anything at all! The feeling will go away eventually. There is a difference between love and obsession and it sounds a lot like you're suffering from the latter. If you love somebody you HAVE to accept their decisions, love is something unselfish and the fact YOU want her back when she doesn't shows where your motivations lie. Write about it, get it out of your system, lie down in bed and spend a day crying but make yourself a cut-off point after which you will stop and get on with life. University should be a fantastic place so don't allow yourself to ruin your experience by hanging on for something which won't happen.
punkskamonkey
ok I hope this is allowed on TSR, im gonna link to my livejournal because ive posted everything on there, u can either comment there or here I dont mind. I know keeping busy would help, but im at a new uni, dont really have anybody who is a close friend, etc, cheers if anybody has been through something similar, whatever you post im sure it'll help a bit
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link
Wow, you sound really depressed...hmmmmmmmm
It's not that easy letting go I reckon; not as easy as people say it is when you still love someone or are used to his/her presence. But for now, keep yourself occupied by setting up another goal for yourself: for example schoolwork, etc. This way you won't concentrate so much on this.
You'll probably feel different in a few weeks though. How long did you guys date for?
i dont even know if i do love her anymore, its different...i mean i was getting over her and things, but then something like that will happen, i guess thats just the problem of trying to stay friends/ being at the same uni.
we went out for about 19 months, twas pretty serious though, lived with her (+her parents) for a bit...
i think it would be easier if i had some decent friends, maybe only 1 if they were close, who i could be with and hang around with and stuff, but i dont+there isnt much i can do about that...
do you think i am actually depressed? it isnt something id recognize i dont think, not too keen about going 2 the doctors or anything though, will just get given antidepressants and i dunno if they're any good for you really...
thanks for the replies so far
we went out for about 19 months, twas pretty serious though, lived with her (+her parents) for a bit...
i think it would be easier if i had some decent friends, maybe only 1 if they were close, who i could be with and hang around with and stuff, but i dont+there isnt much i can do about that...
do you think i am actually depressed? it isnt something id recognize i dont think, not too keen about going 2 the doctors or anything though, will just get given antidepressants and i dunno if they're any good for you really...
thanks for the replies so far
yea mate also you gotta get yourself off msn man! my bro used to be like you. well actually he used to play Counter Strike online (not sure if uve heard of it?) but basically it was kinda the same would spends weeks on it with out speaking to any one and lost al his mates. and now he is in uni (sheffield) and is having the time of his life! mate life moves on with or with out you so mise well ride the wave! Uni sounds great im planning to go in 06 and cant wait! but you really have to turn your computer off go out and get drunk and act a fool and let all your inhabitions go! chat to strangers, throw up on the floor! do everything a student is supposed to do! if you think about the longer you throw **** at her window and call her and annoy her the more she will hate you! and you dont want her to hate you! also you gotta stop talking to her for a little while! so you can get over her and then you both can respect each other as friends and have that close friendship!
Also the longer you sit in on msn the longer it will take to find the love of your life! you never know but you could meet the absolute love of your life at uni she could be in the very next dorm! but as long as you stay in your little bubble you are never going to meet her or any one!
Get a nice group of friends around you that you feel safe and can trust and the world is your ouster!! so the saying goes!
And you never know the world is ****ed up enough maybe she will start to realise what she is missing when you are out having a good time and she might start throwing ***** at your window!lol
good luck mate and take it on your chin! 6 billion ppl in the world mate! i am pretty sure there is another if not better girl out there!
Also the longer you sit in on msn the longer it will take to find the love of your life! you never know but you could meet the absolute love of your life at uni she could be in the very next dorm! but as long as you stay in your little bubble you are never going to meet her or any one!
Get a nice group of friends around you that you feel safe and can trust and the world is your ouster!! so the saying goes!
And you never know the world is ****ed up enough maybe she will start to realise what she is missing when you are out having a good time and she might start throwing ***** at your window!lol
good luck mate and take it on your chin! 6 billion ppl in the world mate! i am pretty sure there is another if not better girl out there!
Dude u answered your own question! Friends are the key my friend! girls come and go friends are there for life mate!
Forget about the bird and go out and get more than 1 mate! get as many as you can and look after yourself! eat well, keep fit and most of all drink well!lol you will be surprised how fast time will fly by! and dont let a girl come between you and your friends! the one bit ive been told and the best bit i remember!
So like i said get off msn and go talk to your neighbours! throw a party and get everyone in your block over!
Forget about the bird and go out and get more than 1 mate! get as many as you can and look after yourself! eat well, keep fit and most of all drink well!lol you will be surprised how fast time will fly by! and dont let a girl come between you and your friends! the one bit ive been told and the best bit i remember!
So like i said get off msn and go talk to your neighbours! throw a party and get everyone in your block over!
punkskamonkey
i dont even know if i do love her anymore, its different...i mean i was getting over her and things, but then something like that will happen, i guess thats just the problem of trying to stay friends/ being at the same uni.
we went out for about 19 months, twas pretty serious though, lived with her (+her parents) for a bit...
i think it would be easier if i had some decent friends, maybe only 1 if they were close, who i could be with and hang around with and stuff, but i dont+there isnt much i can do about that...
do you think i am actually depressed? it isnt something id recognize i dont think, not too keen about going 2 the doctors or anything though, will just get given antidepressants and i dunno if they're any good for you really...
thanks for the replies so far
we went out for about 19 months, twas pretty serious though, lived with her (+her parents) for a bit...
i think it would be easier if i had some decent friends, maybe only 1 if they were close, who i could be with and hang around with and stuff, but i dont+there isnt much i can do about that...
do you think i am actually depressed? it isnt something id recognize i dont think, not too keen about going 2 the doctors or anything though, will just get given antidepressants and i dunno if they're any good for you really...
thanks for the replies so far
I read that bit in your blog about the MSN people...could you possibly befriend one of them and get really close to one of them? And then somehow do something in real life together? (You could bring pepper spray or a pocketknife just in case.)
Maybe it's not worth being her friend if jealousy is all you're going to feel! Most of the time friendships after relationships don't work: it's far too awkward.
As for now...don't worry about crap. You will definitely get over this within 2 months.
As for you being depressed. I wasn't necessarily meaning the professional term of depressed, but just meant that you seemed to be really quite down on the stuff you wrote about in your life...uni, ex-gf, etc.
If it makes you feel better, I'm having relationship issues,emotional confusion, my true, close friends live in another state many hours away, and I don't want to study where I study! And I'm not a freshman either....so it's not even a simple issue about adjusting.
All I can say is, find something else to drive you on. In this case, probably your academics and just realize that this feeling will soon pass.
Mate, I have been in your situation, I was with my ex ex girlfriend for 19 months, loved her more than anything, then she broke up with me just before uni.
I was a mess. Didn’t eat for days, kept ringing and texting her, wrote to her, made up lies so she would give me attention. I was a dam fool. I didn’t properly get over it for months.
Best bit of advice I can give you is firstly, just keep yourself busy, go out even if its on your own, chat to some random people at uni, have a good time, more importantly if you see your ex make her see that you are having a good time, that u r not jealous and possessive anymore.
Try and think of any bad points bout ure ex and drum them in ure head, it helps, makes you think you can do better, and you can do better as she obviously wasn’t the one for you.
I thought I honestly would never meet any1 I had such strong feelings for again, but its only natural to think that, couldn’t be more wrong though, time is the best healer even though you probably hear it all the time. Its true.
Keep busy man, it gets better.
Good tip, go to the gym, do serious workouts relieves a lot of tension and stress.
I was a mess. Didn’t eat for days, kept ringing and texting her, wrote to her, made up lies so she would give me attention. I was a dam fool. I didn’t properly get over it for months.
Best bit of advice I can give you is firstly, just keep yourself busy, go out even if its on your own, chat to some random people at uni, have a good time, more importantly if you see your ex make her see that you are having a good time, that u r not jealous and possessive anymore.
Try and think of any bad points bout ure ex and drum them in ure head, it helps, makes you think you can do better, and you can do better as she obviously wasn’t the one for you.
I thought I honestly would never meet any1 I had such strong feelings for again, but its only natural to think that, couldn’t be more wrong though, time is the best healer even though you probably hear it all the time. Its true.
Keep busy man, it gets better.
Good tip, go to the gym, do serious workouts relieves a lot of tension and stress.
ok, I have read your live journal...and I feel very sorry for you, I can understand how you feel...but you must believe in yourself, YOU ARE JUSTTHE ONE FOR YOURSELF, and you must respect yourself...you are the only one person who can help you...so, try to sit and think...try to remember all evel thigs she did to you, write them down, it might help you to start realise that this girl is not for you...
then, try to get some social life, even if you dont want, force yourself to talk to people, go out, dont be stucked in her...as soon as you start thinking about her, just take a book to read, or watch TV, or start playing some strategy game, that will help to concentrate on smth else...
then, get rid of all things that can remind you about her, just everyth possible, all sweet cards, pictures, presents, TOTALY EVERTYHING...so like this you will have less possibilities that smth else will remind you about her....
and, if you can, it would be good for you to talk to psychologist...I think you could get a real help!!!!
Cheer up!!!!! EVERYTHING WILL BE GREAT IN A WHILE!!! life is always is like that black and white...you just need to keep yourself strong when it is black!!!
p.s. and it would be also better if yuo would stop communicating wiht your ex, coz it is obvious that she hurts you...stop going to the nightclubs where you can meet her..etc. You know this days that you are thinking about her just dont worth it, I mean it doesnt worth it to spend ur time on someone who dosent care about you....Good luck!
then, try to get some social life, even if you dont want, force yourself to talk to people, go out, dont be stucked in her...as soon as you start thinking about her, just take a book to read, or watch TV, or start playing some strategy game, that will help to concentrate on smth else...
then, get rid of all things that can remind you about her, just everyth possible, all sweet cards, pictures, presents, TOTALY EVERTYHING...so like this you will have less possibilities that smth else will remind you about her....
and, if you can, it would be good for you to talk to psychologist...I think you could get a real help!!!!
Cheer up!!!!! EVERYTHING WILL BE GREAT IN A WHILE!!! life is always is like that black and white...you just need to keep yourself strong when it is black!!!
p.s. and it would be also better if yuo would stop communicating wiht your ex, coz it is obvious that she hurts you...stop going to the nightclubs where you can meet her..etc. You know this days that you are thinking about her just dont worth it, I mean it doesnt worth it to spend ur time on someone who dosent care about you....Good luck!
well, she does care about me still, she's said that, and i know she does, she just wants me to start acting normally+ not like that, lol.
and she doesnt have any bad points! ok we werent perfect for each other, i know that, our relationship had problems, but theres nothing i can hate her for, it would be easier in a lot of ways if there was!
i know i'll b ok in time, maybe i'll even enjoy uni+stuff, maybe i'll make friends, who knows, i dont wanna quit again tho, im through with quitting+giving up+taking the easier option...
and she doesnt have any bad points! ok we werent perfect for each other, i know that, our relationship had problems, but theres nothing i can hate her for, it would be easier in a lot of ways if there was!
i know i'll b ok in time, maybe i'll even enjoy uni+stuff, maybe i'll make friends, who knows, i dont wanna quit again tho, im through with quitting+giving up+taking the easier option...
punkskamonkey
well, she does care about me still, she's said that, and i know she does, she just wants me to start acting normally+ not like that, lol.
and she doesnt have any bad points! ok we werent perfect for each other, i know that, our relationship had problems, but theres nothing i can hate her for, it would be easier in a lot of ways if there was!
i know i'll b ok in time, maybe i'll even enjoy uni+stuff, maybe i'll make friends, who knows, i dont wanna quit again tho, im through with quitting+giving up+taking the easier option...
and she doesnt have any bad points! ok we werent perfect for each other, i know that, our relationship had problems, but theres nothing i can hate her for, it would be easier in a lot of ways if there was!
i know i'll b ok in time, maybe i'll even enjoy uni+stuff, maybe i'll make friends, who knows, i dont wanna quit again tho, im through with quitting+giving up+taking the easier option...
you know, if she cares about you, why she is not with you then right now? why cant she take care about you as a BF for real???...
Mate, it must be really hard 4 you. I can only imagine how shti it would be to see this girl getting with all these guys - I totally understand what you're saying. Still, I think you need to let go and meet someone new - that'd be the best way to get over this girl. You definitely need to ignore her a bit and stop following/calling her because - trust me - that is not something that girls like. Ignore her a bit, and just chat occasionally and get with some girl. In a month or so, when it's kinda died down, you can meet up 4 lunch and chat without it being weird. At this point, you'll know if she's up 4 rekindling anything.
Anyway what I'm basically saying: It's a harsh situation - I feel sorry 4 you. You need to forget this girl (or pretend to) and meet someone new. It'll sort itself out in the end, and it will be a lot easier in one week.
Anyway what I'm basically saying: It's a harsh situation - I feel sorry 4 you. You need to forget this girl (or pretend to) and meet someone new. It'll sort itself out in the end, and it will be a lot easier in one week.
cheers for all the replies, i think everybody has actually said something thats helped. go TSR!
i think i definitely need a bit of a break from seeing her and maybe talking to her too, i wont ring her, might even block her on msn until im ready.
i mean i thought i was getting over her, but last night kinda showed i wasnt, even though i was just trying to make sure she was ok, she's got too much influence over me, if that makes sense...
i do just need 2 meet a nice girl+then i can focus on her! and make some friends too, but hopefully that should happen, if i can go out+talk to some people.
talking to people+meeting new ppl+listening to music will get me through!
i think i definitely need a bit of a break from seeing her and maybe talking to her too, i wont ring her, might even block her on msn until im ready.
i mean i thought i was getting over her, but last night kinda showed i wasnt, even though i was just trying to make sure she was ok, she's got too much influence over me, if that makes sense...
i do just need 2 meet a nice girl+then i can focus on her! and make some friends too, but hopefully that should happen, if i can go out+talk to some people.
talking to people+meeting new ppl+listening to music will get me through!
you remind me of me. Three words - get over her. Is there any other girl you like? think about her instead.
Yeah, good for you,it will help you for sure, if you are going to meet new people!!! I just hope that, when you write it, you really mean it, and not writting it just to get rid of us 
I mean, now we kind of all involved in that and want you to have a good happy life...so, if you dont think the same way, as you wrote...then u need to talk more about this...or go to specialist 
But if you want to forget about her, start with blocking her msn, that was good idea of you, get rid of all her stuff, and avoid all contacs with her...if you are not going to do that, i think you will probably just go mad from all the pain you are gonnato get...take care about urself..I am sure your EX can take care about herself well...and again Good Luck!!!
I mean, now we kind of all involved in that and want you to have a good happy life...so, if you dont think the same way, as you wrote...then u need to talk more about this...or go to specialist But if you want to forget about her, start with blocking her msn, that was good idea of you, get rid of all her stuff, and avoid all contacs with her...if you are not going to do that, i think you will probably just go mad from all the pain you are gonnato get...take care about urself..I am sure your EX can take care about herself well...and again Good Luck!!!
punkskamonkey
cheers for all the replies, i think everybody has actually said something thats helped. go TSR!
i think i definitely need a bit of a break from seeing her and maybe talking to her too, i wont ring her, might even block her on msn until im ready.
i mean i thought i was getting over her, but last night kinda showed i wasnt, even though i was just trying to make sure she was ok, she's got too much influence over me, if that makes sense...
i do just need 2 meet a nice girl+then i can focus on her! and make some friends too, but hopefully that should happen, if i can go out+talk to some people.
talking to people+meeting new ppl+listening to music will get me through!
i think i definitely need a bit of a break from seeing her and maybe talking to her too, i wont ring her, might even block her on msn until im ready.
i mean i thought i was getting over her, but last night kinda showed i wasnt, even though i was just trying to make sure she was ok, she's got too much influence over me, if that makes sense...
i do just need 2 meet a nice girl+then i can focus on her! and make some friends too, but hopefully that should happen, if i can go out+talk to some people.
talking to people+meeting new ppl+listening to music will get me through!
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