The Student Room Group

Hate having my neck touched...

Anon because she's on here.

I hate having my neck touched and, whenever somebody does it, my shoulders are raised in order to block access to it and I moved my chin into my chest to really shut it away for anyone. Just a natural reaction, I do it the second my neck is touched.

I have a girlfriend who really likes necks. I have told her that it happens (and accidentally hit her with my shoulders more than once as I raise them :s-smilie:), and she seems genuinely apologetic ... but going for the neck seems to be instinctual for her unless she's concentrating very hard on not, just as my instinct is to block it off.

Are we just never going to be compatible? :s-smilie:

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Reply 1
She'll get used to not doing it in time, don't worry.

Anyway, how on earth can you not like having it touched?! it's the best :sexface:
Reply 2
emma.191
She'll get used to not doing it in time, don't worry.

Anyway, how on earth can you not like having it touched?! it's the best :sexface:


I have a friend who once tried to strangle me. :s-smilie: He wasn't himself at the time, apologised most profusely for it after he was all better ... but still, can't have my neck touched.
Just explain to her clearly that you really don't like being touched there. That doesn't mean your not compatible, she just probably gets lost in the moment and does it to you because she knows its something she would personally enjoy, so assumes you'd be the same.
Reply 4
TommyWannabe


I don't have a clue who that is, so it's completely lost on me I'm afraid.
Reply 5
xoJessicaAnn
Just explain to her clearly that you really don't like being touched there. That doesn't mean your not compatible, she just probably gets lost in the moment and does it to you because she knows its something she would personally enjoy, so assumes you'd be the same.


But I've told her that plenty over the last year and a half. I told her before we started being physical together, and every time she does it.

She still does it. Like you say, not consciously, but gets caught up and automatically goes for the neck. :frown:
Anonymous
But I've told her that plenty over the last year and a half. I told her before we started being physical together, and every time she does it.

She still does it. Like you say, not consciously, but gets caught up and automatically goes for the neck. :frown:


Can't you move her hand some place better whenever she does it? Surely you can't believe you're no longer compatible simply because she likes this and you don't, haha (:
Reply 7
Anonymous
I don't have a clue who that is, so it's completely lost on me I'm afraid.


:facepalm2: Wesley Snipes as Blade. You haven't seen any of the 3 films?
Anonymous
But I've told her that plenty over the last year and a half. I told her before we started being physical together, and every time she does it.

She still does it. Like you say, not consciously, but gets caught up and automatically goes for the neck. :frown:


i cant believe the questions asked on tsr

i mean dont people ever think for themselves?

man up dude make your own decision
Reply 10
xoJessicaAnn
Can't you move her hand some place better whenever she does it? Surely you can't believe you're no longer compatible simply because she likes this and you don't, haha (:

No, because all the muscles in my arms are locked down protecting my neck, and it takes several minutes to get back to normal. And it kind of kills the mood, if you get my drift (I'm on the defensive, I've probably caught her hand or, if she kisses it, on the chin :s-smilie:), which is why I worry that we're not going to be compatible if she won't stop touching my neck. :frown:

Nizzay!
:facepalm2: Wesley Snipes as Blade. You haven't seen any of the 3 films?

I don't even know what films... :s-smilie:
Reply 11
LazyWorseThanInfidel
i cant believe the questions asked on tsr

i mean dont people ever think for themselves?

man up dude make your own decision


It's not like TSR was my first point of call. :rolleyes: I've been trying to deal with it for a year and a half, exhausted all options I and my friends have come up with.
She'll get used to it.

I mean, she doesn't do that all the time, right? If she does, keep reminding her that.
Reply 13
hurm this will cause you problems in the end as she obviously like it and possibley likes to recive it more then give it. as soon as i read the message i thought hurm somthings happened in past that makes youn fearful. trust and being relaxed are the most important aspects of a relationship. so mabe if you do it to hear first she will not want to do it to you. as this is somthing she sees as sensual it will send her wild anyway and you will come to acecpt it and enjoy it too in time
Reply 14
kristinaalovesu
She'll get used to it.

I mean, she doesn't do that all the time, right? If she does, keep reminding her that.

She tries it every time for the past year and a half. It's gotten to the point where I don't want to do anything physical because it just drives me so mad to have my neck touched. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I hate it.
Anonymous
No, because all the muscles in my arms are locked down protecting my neck, and it takes several minutes to get back to normal. And it kind of kills the mood, if you get my drift (I'm on the defensive, I've probably caught her hand or, if she kisses it, on the chin :s-smilie:), which is why I worry that we're not going to be compatible if she won't stop touching my neck. :frown:


Although it would be better if she took it on board that you didn't like it, its a difficult thing to avoid.
Plus, the neck is an erogenous zone, I'd be surprised if many women didn't try to kiss and touch it in that kind of situation.

Tbh, its not like your gf is trying to strangle you. Maybe if you were actually honest with her as to why you don't like it she'd me more serious about avoiding your neck. But what should be more important is instead of having anyone else deal with this problem of yours, how about you get to the source of the problem and get it sorted youself? Even if it takes counselling, I don't think you can expect every girl you're lucky to come across to have to deal with this on your behalf.
(edited 14 years ago)
Reply 16
leesworld
hurm this will cause you problems in the end as she obviously like it and possibley likes to recive it more then give it. as soon as i read the message i thought hurm somthings happened in past that makes youn fearful. trust and being relaxed are the most important aspects of a relationship. so mabe if you do it to hear first she will not want to do it to you. as this is somthing she sees as sensual it will send her wild anyway and you will come to acecpt it and enjoy it too in time


I trust her, but like I say, I have a friend who tried to strangle me a few years ago, so the second anything touches my neck, I become defensive about it and it kills the entire mood. Every bloody time.

I do do it to her. It doesn't stop her trying to do it to me, and I highly doubt I'll ever come to enjoy it. :frown:
Reply 17
*Star*Guitar*
Although it would be better if she took it on board that you didn't like it, its a difficult thing to avoid.
Plus, the neck is an erogenous zone, I'd be surprised if many women didn't try to kiss and touch it in that kind of situation.

Tbh, its not like your gf is trying to strangle you. Maybe if you were actually honest with her as to why you don't like it she'd me more serious about avoiding your neck. But what should be more important is instead of having anyone else deal with this problem of yours, how about you get to the source of the problem and get it sorted youself? Even if it takes counselling, I don't think you can expect every girl you're lucky to come across to have to deal with this on your behalf.


Well, I'm not going to have counselling because that would involve having to rat my friend out that he tried to strangle me ... and I don't want him to face any **** for something he did when he was not himself.
Anonymous
Well, I'm not going to have counselling because that would involve having to rat my friend out that he tried to strangle me ... and I don't want him to face any **** for something he did when he was not himself.


Well I still have more sympathy for your girlfriend who has to deal with this instead of you or the person who actually strangled you and caused this problem.

If you won't let someone else help you then it goes back to my point that you owe it to your girlfriend to:
- be honest and explain why you don't like it
- trust that she isn't going to do what your friend did and relax around her
Reply 19
I'm being labelled odd for some non odd reason and no one has berated you for your extremely odd dislike of having your neck touched. Messed up society is what i say.