The Student Room Group

Girls - would you do this?

If an older guy (9 yrs above) who you've met a few times and don't know that well, who seems to have an ok personality and is considered attractive, randomly asked you to goto 3rd base, would you want to do it?
I know it's very subjective, but I am curious to know what you lot think, and whether it is only me that thinks its weird?! I mean I know lots of ppl do this all the time etcc but anyway would anyone like to share what they think. Thx

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9 years older is quite a big jump :eek: have you done anything with him before? i don't mean to sound harsh but it sounds like he's just using you. . then again i don't know the whole story.
Reply 2
frappuccino
If an older guy (9 yrs above) who you've met a few times and don't know that well, who seems to have an ok personality and is considered attractive, randomly asked you to goto 3rd base, would you want to do it?
I know it's very subjective, but I am curious to know what you lot think, and whether it is only me that thinks its weird?! I mean I know lots of ppl do this all the time etcc but anyway would anyone like to share what they think. Thx


Ok, fair do's right then I would say he is using you
Did that slang originate from a mathematician or something?
Reply 5
NDGAARONDI
Did that slang originate from a mathematician or something?


no Otherwise it would have stopped at first base!) sorry, had to say it!!! jk jks :flute:
Reply 6
frappuccino
If an older guy (9 yrs above) who you've met a few times and don't know that well, who seems to have an ok personality and is considered attractive, randomly asked you to goto 3rd base, would you want to do it?
I know it's very subjective, but I am curious to know what you lot think, and whether it is only me that thinks its weird?! I mean I know lots of ppl do this all the time etcc but anyway would anyone like to share what they think. Thx


Well do you want to? How, is anyone else's desires going to help you decide what you want?

It's extremely immature and stupid to do things just because it's normal or because all your mates do it. Use your brain.
Reply 7
faketales
9 years older is quite a big jump :eek: have you done anything with him before? i don't mean to sound harsh but it sounds like he's just using you. . then again i don't know the whole story.


I haven't done anything with him before, and that's what I was thinking too. The story is pretty much summed up in what I said. I guess what I'm wondering is, how many ppl would think of it as "being used" and therefore not do it, or think that its just "fun" and do it?

Lmao @ some of these, hahahahaha.

Spoiler

:rofl:


haha - that was a pretty good laugh.

Back to the matter at hand - I don't think I would personally but its entirely up to both people as the circumstances would be different for everyone. So yeah...You're not alone - I find that situation a little odd.

Each to their own. :smile:
Reply 10
Personally I wouldnt, not with someone that I hardly knew and had just asked out of the blue. Also, I have to wonder why this bloke is asking questions like this to girls who are quite a lot younger, can he not get a girlfriend his own age??
err i would definitely count it as being used if you haven't even kissed or anything. i mean some people might do that for fun and that's their choice but don't expect anything more out of it. you might get a reputation too. just be careful whatever you do!
Reply 12
Sticky
Well do you want to? How, is anyone else's desires going to help you decide what you want?

It's extremely immature and stupid to do things just because it's normal or because all your mates do it. Use your brain.


Yeah I get what you mean. I know what I do and don't feel comfortable with, but I'm just interested to hear what other ppl think.
Reply 13
NDGAARONDI
Did that slang originate from a mathematician or something?

no, presumably from baseball/rounders...
The age gap isnt the issue! But its a bit fast really! I wouldnt go any base with someone i wasnt comfy with, let alone all the way to 3rd! I would think about what you want from it, and if he really cares, he'll wait! Actually, you could ask him to wait, and if he says he'd wait for as long as you need, you know he cares!
Reply 15
Lauren Hart
The age gap isnt the issue! But its a bit fast really! I wouldnt go any base with someone i wasnt comfy with, let alone all the way to 3rd! I would think about what you want from it, and if he really cares, he'll wait! Actually, you could ask him to wait, and if he says he'd wait for as long as you need, you know he cares!


Frapuccino, fair enough if you just want to know what other people think but that should not influence you. You could be hanging out with a group of skanks who believe that you have to do whatever any guy asks for or you're being uptight. You'll end up thinking it's normal if you listen to them.
Do you want to, that's the main thing, and before asking yourself if you want to, do you know what the guys' intentions are. If you understand all that, then you can't make any mistakes.

Lauren, the age gap is a huge issue. An older guy can easily convince a younger girl that she "should" be doing this or that. I shouldn't be comparing this to that, but that's how paedophiles groom their victims: convince them that it's perfectly normal. The sick part is that the young children end up not even caring. An older guy has a much stronger influence over a younger, more impressionable girl.

And whether they've kissed doesn't really matter. It's not because he's kissed her, that his intentions become any better and that he respects her any more. I'd say to any girl, that if you want respect, and you want to be able to respect yourself, don't do such a thing outside a serious relationship and only when you actually want to, and don't feel used.
Reply 16
frappuccino
I haven't done anything with him before, and that's what I was thinking too. The story is pretty much summed up in what I said. I guess what I'm wondering is, how many ppl would think of it as "being used" and therefore not do it, or think that its just "fun" and do it?


If a girl wants to have casual sex with a guy and does so how is she being used?

It's impossible for anyone else to say if htey'd do it or not. It's all about chemistry between two people and the situation so we can't say if we'd do it or not.

Edit: How old are you, frappucino? If you're 18+ and feel like an independent woman the age gap should be no issue but if you're younger and don't feel confident with him then don't do it.
Reply 17
Sticky
Lauren, the age gap is a huge issue. An older guy can easily convince a younger girl that she "should" be doing this or that. I shouldn't be comparing this to that, but that's how paedophiles groom their victims: convince them that it's perfectly normal. The sick part is that the young children end up not even caring. An older guy has a much stronger influence over a younger, more impressionable girl.


Depends on her age. I've gone out with a guy that was nine years older than me and it wasn't a problem. Well, sure it was weird he was already a doctor and I hadn't even started university but still we felt like we were on the same level and understood each other so it didn't matter.

Sticky
And whether they've kissed doesn't really matter. It's not because he's kissed her, that his intentions become any better and that he respects her any more. I'd say to any girl, that if you want respect, and you want to be able to respect yourself, don't do such a thing outside a serious relationship and only when you actually want to, and don't feel used.


I agree. It's clear that the guy just wants sex. The only question here is if frappucino want to just have sex with him as well. I doubt she does if she has to ask about it on discussion forum.
Reply 18
So bascially this guy got randomly horny and asked you for head? If you're randomly horny too, then why not? But it basically is a using thing, so if you don't like him, don't feel comfortable etc, then don't do it. And don't read too much into it either...
Reply 19
Kismet

I agree. It's clear that the guy just wants sex. The only question here is if frappucino want to just have sex with him as well. I doubt she does if she has to ask about it on discussion forum.


He's not offering sex. He asked for third base, which originally means a handjob but in more modern times has come to include oral sex. He probably wants to get kicks out of "using" a younger girl, as a lot of guys do. There's always an exciting aspect in getting satisfaction and the girl focusing on only that.

As for older guys, you've got to tread lightly. We know how to convince girls very easily... If she is less than 18, even if she "doesn't mind" the idea, not sure she should do it. She doesn't know everything about how she'll get a reputation, how she might see the whole thing when she's older. There's nothing worse for a girl than growing up to realise that with hindsight, guys saw you as a dumb, disposable girl that could be used easily. It doesn't do wonders for your self-respect or self-confidence. When you're young, you don't always grasp all these things.