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really miserable at uni
This is probably going to turn into a really long rant but I really could use some advice.
I'm havng a really rubbish time at Uni so far, I've only been here just over a week but I'm finding it really hard to find friends, I've joined a lot of clubs and teams but nobody really wants to talk to me and I feel like I'm annoying people when I try to make conversation. At the moment I feel like the only person who doesn't have friends to call on; everyone else in my corridor is good friends but they never invite me out with them and when I do invite myself they don't talk to me. Does anyone have any ideas what I can do? I don't want to drop out, but I'm so miserable at the moment.
While I'm ranting, I have another uni-related problem. I've been sexually abused quite recently and part of me wants to find a boyfriend so I have some sort of security in my life, but the other part of me doesn't want to go anywhere near men incase I get hurt again. Any people who've been abused - does this get any better, or am I going to spend the rest of my life alone?
I'm sorry to sound so self-pitying. It's 9.33 and everyone else has gone out, I'm here on my own and I have nobody to go to.
I'm havng a really rubbish time at Uni so far, I've only been here just over a week but I'm finding it really hard to find friends, I've joined a lot of clubs and teams but nobody really wants to talk to me and I feel like I'm annoying people when I try to make conversation. At the moment I feel like the only person who doesn't have friends to call on; everyone else in my corridor is good friends but they never invite me out with them and when I do invite myself they don't talk to me. Does anyone have any ideas what I can do? I don't want to drop out, but I'm so miserable at the moment.
While I'm ranting, I have another uni-related problem. I've been sexually abused quite recently and part of me wants to find a boyfriend so I have some sort of security in my life, but the other part of me doesn't want to go anywhere near men incase I get hurt again. Any people who've been abused - does this get any better, or am I going to spend the rest of my life alone?
I'm sorry to sound so self-pitying. It's 9.33 and everyone else has gone out, I'm here on my own and I have nobody to go to.
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opiache
This is probably going to turn into a really long rant but I really could use some advice.
I'm havng a really rubbish time at Uni so far, I've only been here just over a week but I'm finding it really hard to find friends, I've joined a lot of clubs and teams but nobody really wants to talk to me and I feel like I'm annoying people when I try to make conversation. At the moment I feel like the only person who doesn't have friends to call on; everyone else in my corridor is good friends but they never invite me out with them and when I do invite myself they don't talk to me. Does anyone have any ideas what I can do? I don't want to drop out, but I'm so miserable at the moment.
While I'm ranting, I have another uni-related problem. I've been sexually abused quite recently and part of me wants to find a boyfriend so I have some sort of security in my life, but the other part of me doesn't want to go anywhere near men incase I get hurt again. Any people who've been abused - does this get any better, or am I going to spend the rest of my life alone?
I'm sorry to sound so self-pitying. It's 9.33 and everyone else has gone out, I'm here on my own and I have nobody to go to.
I'm havng a really rubbish time at Uni so far, I've only been here just over a week but I'm finding it really hard to find friends, I've joined a lot of clubs and teams but nobody really wants to talk to me and I feel like I'm annoying people when I try to make conversation. At the moment I feel like the only person who doesn't have friends to call on; everyone else in my corridor is good friends but they never invite me out with them and when I do invite myself they don't talk to me. Does anyone have any ideas what I can do? I don't want to drop out, but I'm so miserable at the moment.
While I'm ranting, I have another uni-related problem. I've been sexually abused quite recently and part of me wants to find a boyfriend so I have some sort of security in my life, but the other part of me doesn't want to go anywhere near men incase I get hurt again. Any people who've been abused - does this get any better, or am I going to spend the rest of my life alone?
I'm sorry to sound so self-pitying. It's 9.33 and everyone else has gone out, I'm here on my own and I have nobody to go to.
I cant comment on the sexual abuse problem. What you need to do, is make conversation with other people-its fifty/fifty. Just be really happy, chatty and postitive and make the effort and your friends will find you
P.S. get off the Student Room and get out clubbing that is the best way too make new friends
It sounds as though you're already doing the right thing, talking to other people and getting involved.. so good for you! 
as for those who seem to be ignoring you, they may just be unsure at this point, so give them time. On the other hand, take your great personality somewhere where you've never been before and make new friends there! good luck!
as for those who seem to be ignoring you, they may just be unsure at this point, so give them time. On the other hand, take your great personality somewhere where you've never been before and make new friends there! good luck! awwwww!!! hun...dont be so down! its hard to fit in sometimes, especially when you look around you, and u only seem to be the one having that problem, but keep interacting with people and you'll make friends...well.. 'real' friends soon enough.
you need to talk to someone, a councillor maybe, or something, about your previous sexual abuse, you have to be more confident, and how can you expect others to love you, when you dont seem to love yourself?? dont go for a b/f because you'r lonely, because your lonliness is deep inside you, which a b/f wont solve... you have to be comfortable with yourself, because any relationship rooted from insecurity and lonliness never works out (in my experience anyhow)... anyway.... try not to stress out too much and get depressed, cos it'll only make it worse (yea i know, easier said than done..) but good luck with everything and i hope things get better
you need to talk to someone, a councillor maybe, or something, about your previous sexual abuse, you have to be more confident, and how can you expect others to love you, when you dont seem to love yourself?? dont go for a b/f because you'r lonely, because your lonliness is deep inside you, which a b/f wont solve... you have to be comfortable with yourself, because any relationship rooted from insecurity and lonliness never works out (in my experience anyhow)... anyway.... try not to stress out too much and get depressed, cos it'll only make it worse (yea i know, easier said than done..) but good luck with everything and i hope things get better
opiache
This is probably going to turn into a really long rant but I really could use some advice.
I'm havng a really rubbish time at Uni so far, I've only been here just over a week but I'm finding it really hard to find friends, I've joined a lot of clubs and teams but nobody really wants to talk to me and I feel like I'm annoying people when I try to make conversation. At the moment I feel like the only person who doesn't have friends to call on; everyone else in my corridor is good friends but they never invite me out with them and when I do invite myself they don't talk to me. Does anyone have any ideas what I can do? I don't want to drop out, but I'm so miserable at the moment.
While I'm ranting, I have another uni-related problem. I've been sexually abused quite recently and part of me wants to find a boyfriend so I have some sort of security in my life, but the other part of me doesn't want to go anywhere near men incase I get hurt again. Any people who've been abused - does this get any better, or am I going to spend the rest of my life alone?
I'm sorry to sound so self-pitying. It's 9.33 and everyone else has gone out, I'm here on my own and I have nobody to go to.
I'm havng a really rubbish time at Uni so far, I've only been here just over a week but I'm finding it really hard to find friends, I've joined a lot of clubs and teams but nobody really wants to talk to me and I feel like I'm annoying people when I try to make conversation. At the moment I feel like the only person who doesn't have friends to call on; everyone else in my corridor is good friends but they never invite me out with them and when I do invite myself they don't talk to me. Does anyone have any ideas what I can do? I don't want to drop out, but I'm so miserable at the moment.
While I'm ranting, I have another uni-related problem. I've been sexually abused quite recently and part of me wants to find a boyfriend so I have some sort of security in my life, but the other part of me doesn't want to go anywhere near men incase I get hurt again. Any people who've been abused - does this get any better, or am I going to spend the rest of my life alone?
I'm sorry to sound so self-pitying. It's 9.33 and everyone else has gone out, I'm here on my own and I have nobody to go to.
Before I try and give you some advice, could you please tell me if it was at ur uni u were abused?
Indu.Mitra
Before I try and give you some advice, could you please tell me if it was at ur uni u were abused?
No...but it was right until I left for uni
opiache
No...but it was right until I left for uni
Im so sorry sweetness!
*bigg hugg*
Of course you won't end up alone! the friends people make at the beginning of university are not the ones theystick with... because in the beginning its all so overwhleming everyone is out and doing whatever they are doing.. but when times get rough and stuff they realise who their friends are..
Youre not the only one probably feeling alone.. and believe me.. the people like you will find your way to one another. I dont think you should drop out.. use university as an adventure a great experience.. going back will only remind you of what happened.. an i dont want that for you because you could easily fall into depression. If people ignore you.. tell them to **** off.. arent u human? dont u deserve to be talked to? When u 'invite urself along'.. try and look around for people that are on their own too.. or look as though they arent enjoying themselves?
Get a job? thats a good way of making friends.. and a bit of money... or go to a library when you study.. you'll make friends there, and theres no shame of going there on your own? or perhaps to the gym? or some kind of dance/yoga class.. anything you enjoy.?
Indu.Mitra
Get a job? thats a good way of making friends.. and a bit of money... or go to a library when you study.. you'll make friends there, and theres no shame of going there on your own? or perhaps to the gym? or some kind of dance/yoga class.. anything you enjoy.?
Get a job? thats a good way of making friends.. and a bit of money... or go to a library when you study.. you'll make friends there, and theres no shame of going there on your own? or perhaps to the gym? or some kind of dance/yoga class.. anything you enjoy.?
Thanks for your comment. I've joined a few clubs and in general the same thing happens, people have come with their own friends and don't want to talk to me
opiache
Thanks for your comment. I've joined a few clubs and in general the same thing happens, people have come with their own friends and don't want to talk to me
you know what.. it hurts me soo much to hear that people can be so cruel.. I promise to god if I wa sat your uni id love to amke friends with u.. u really need a friend right now too... what about your friends from you last school? call them up.. perhaps go see one of them for a weekend... tell them what happened?
Indu.Mitra
you know what.. it hurts me soo much to hear that people can be so cruel.. I promise to god if I wa sat your uni id love to amke friends with u.. u really need a friend right now too... what about your friends from you last school? call them up.. perhaps go see one of them for a weekend... tell them what happened?
I've been talking to one of them online but I'm not that close with them that I can tell them everything about how low I'm feelng, plus I feel like going home or visiting someone is like giving up and I'll find it even harder to find freinds.
opiache
I've been talking to one of them online but I'm not that close with them that I can tell them everything about how low I'm feelng, plus I feel like going home or visiting someone is like giving up and I'll find it even harder to find freinds.
dnt be silly.. it snot giving up... it sjust sometime sin life.. we need someone to push us a little further to give us that enegry to carry on walking.. the bastards at ur uni aint gona give it to u.. u shud go and se eone of ur friends... the person online.. perhaps u cna build a new friendship with them?
Just stick in there. People worth talking to won't ignore you - people who do ignore you arn't worth your time. Things will get better for you
As for the problem with being abused, i am actually sick with 1/1000 men doing something wrong to women and everybody getting labeled. 1 Prick ruins 50% of the world for you and im sad to hear that, please dont lose faith and stay with it. You seem to be a nice person and nice people go far in life so just wait for your time.
As for the problem with being abused, i am actually sick with 1/1000 men doing something wrong to women and everybody getting labeled. 1 Prick ruins 50% of the world for you and im sad to hear that, please dont lose faith and stay with it. You seem to be a nice person and nice people go far in life so just wait for your time.
Have you looked at perhaps meeting members of TSR at the same uni as you? Find out what they're upto and join them? I was ill during the start of Freshers week and felt a bit distanced from people at first. I know what you mean about feeling like the only one without a friend. But after a couple of nights out with the people from my corridor, things went great and now even when I'm not with anyone from my corridor i don't feel alone among a group of people i don't know. if that makes any sense
That sounds awful...you're at Bath, right? Which accommodation are you in? Because I'm in Mendip and if you wanted to meet up or anything, we're a very friendly bunch of people in my kitchen group (and the rest of our floor too) and we also have a couple of Rammstein fans who've joined the Rock Society Don't come over tonight though, I'm at home for the weekend!
Sometimes it takes a while to make good friends. I was lucky because there are people who live right next door that I get along with really well, but there are some others around us who haven't made close friends yet either, so you're definitely not alone. It seems like there's a lot of pressure on people to make friends straight away but more often than not, it just doesn't work like that. Keep your chin up, smile at people lots and don't be too hard on yourself
Have you tried talking to Aware? They might have something useful to say. The DoS of the Comp Sci department seemed very complimentary of them when he was talking to us about it last week, apparently they're very good and they just let you talk about everything that's bothering you in a confidential way, and then offer help if you want it.
Don't come over tonight though, I'm at home for the weekend!Sometimes it takes a while to make good friends. I was lucky because there are people who live right next door that I get along with really well, but there are some others around us who haven't made close friends yet either, so you're definitely not alone. It seems like there's a lot of pressure on people to make friends straight away but more often than not, it just doesn't work like that. Keep your chin up, smile at people lots and don't be too hard on yourself
Have you tried talking to Aware? They might have something useful to say. The DoS of the Comp Sci department seemed very complimentary of them when he was talking to us about it last week, apparently they're very good and they just let you talk about everything that's bothering you in a confidential way, and then offer help if you want it.
awww, I'm sorry you're feeling bad But I really think you just need to hang in there and keep talking to people. If you've joined clubs and societies, you're bound to meet like-minded ppl there and I'm sure you'll find something to talk about with them there. When I went to the states as an exchange student, I felt the same way. But it turned out everyone was just really busy with their lives and they never meant to ignore me. It's just that others aren't always going to be there to pick you up and take you with them. You'll have to keep inviting yourself and make people see you. It will get better !!!
But I really think you just need to hang in there and keep talking to people. If you've joined clubs and societies, you're bound to meet like-minded ppl there and I'm sure you'll find something to talk about with them there. When I went to the states as an exchange student, I felt the same way. But it turned out everyone was just really busy with their lives and they never meant to ignore me. It's just that others aren't always going to be there to pick you up and take you with them. You'll have to keep inviting yourself and make people see you. It will get better !!!amie
That sounds awful...you're at Bath, right? Which accommodation are you in? Because I'm in Mendip and if you wanted to meet up or anything, we're a very friendly bunch of people in my kitchen group (and the rest of our floor too) and we also have a couple of Rammstein fans who've joined the Rock Society Don't come over tonight though, I'm at home for the weekend!
Sometimes it takes a while to make good friends. I was lucky because there are people who live right next door that I get along with really well, but there are some others around us who haven't made close friends yet either, so you're definitely not alone. It seems like there's a lot of pressure on people to make friends straight away but more often than not, it just doesn't work like that. Keep your chin up, smile at people lots and don't be too hard on yourself
Have you tried talking to Aware? They might have something useful to say. The DoS of the Comp Sci department seemed very complimentary of them when he was talking to us about it last week, apparently they're very good and they just let you talk about everything that's bothering you in a confidential way, and then offer help if you want it.
Don't come over tonight though, I'm at home for the weekend!Sometimes it takes a while to make good friends. I was lucky because there are people who live right next door that I get along with really well, but there are some others around us who haven't made close friends yet either, so you're definitely not alone. It seems like there's a lot of pressure on people to make friends straight away but more often than not, it just doesn't work like that. Keep your chin up, smile at people lots and don't be too hard on yourself
Have you tried talking to Aware? They might have something useful to say. The DoS of the Comp Sci department seemed very complimentary of them when he was talking to us about it last week, apparently they're very good and they just let you talk about everything that's bothering you in a confidential way, and then offer help if you want it.
Thank you
I might go to aware, I'm not sure where it is or anything but it might help I guess. Ooh, Rammstein fans? Brilliant I'm in Marlborough Court, which is nice but has really small kitchen groups so it gets lonely if you don't like the other 4 people I don't have friends at uni, only acquaintances.
opiache
Thank you I might go to aware, I'm not sure where it is or anything but it might help I guess. Ooh, Rammstein fans? Brilliant I'm in Marlborough Court, which is nice but has really small kitchen groups so it gets lonely if you don't like the other 4 people
I might go to aware, I'm not sure where it is or anything but it might help I guess. Ooh, Rammstein fans? Brilliant I'm in Marlborough Court, which is nice but has really small kitchen groups so it gets lonely if you don't like the other 4 people Ah yeah, that's why I applied to Westwood. 8/9 people per kitchen, 25 people per corridor, 5 corridors per block! No chance of feeling lonely! Luckily everyone in my kitchen gets along, although I suppose it makes arguments more likely if there are more people around.
I think Aware is somewhere on the Parade or something, near the SU bit maybe? I'm not entirely sure to be honest, but apparently its a nice bright pink colour.
Have you joined the RockSoc? My friends seemed to enjoy the pub tour thingy, they went to some rock night called Discord at Babylon or somewhere... anyhoo, I'm sure Sarah would love another girl to dicuss alternative-type things with, me and the other couple of girls are more into fashion, make-up and clubbing! I mean it, you should really come by sometime. I'm in Mendip floor 1. Except you can't get in without a key so we'd have to meet somewhere first. If you ever want to, just PM me on here or something
What kind of people are in your kitchen group?
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