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meepmeep
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#21
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#21
(Original post by ZJuwelH)
Are you sure it's this baby you want or just that you want a baby? You have your whole life to have a baby, but after you set your life up so that you can do. Right now you're just a baby yourself, not independent enough to bring and nurture life. You've got your own growing up still to do. So my advice is only go ahead and have the baby if there is not a shred of doubt in your mind about it. It sounds like you do have doubts so I wouldn't advise you have the kid. If I may say so, your folks are ********s, you'd think parents would be more supportive or protective of their own children.

Hope this helps.
To be fair, she only told them today given the earlier post. I'm sure given a little time they'll swing around and offer their help after getting over the anger stage. Go see a doctor and take your time over the decision and good luck.
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Percy
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#22
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#22
(Original post by Lisa ST)
so the only option left is ABORTION


NOOOOO1!!!! im NOt gonna do that. I dont want to kill my child i would rather kill myself.!"
adoption!
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MadNatSci
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#23
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#23
Remember your parents have just found out that their daughter is pregnant at 14! They will have found this a huge shock and are probably still trying to come to terms with it; they quite possibly blame themselves, which often makes people more angry. I'm sure they will calm down. Give them a bit of time yet, and see what happens.
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nikk
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#24
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#24
IT IS NOT YOUR PARENTS DESCISION OR ANYONE ELSES!!!! It is your baby and your life and so do what you want to do. Your parents and others may do all sorts to pressurise you into an abortion but whatever happens do what you want to do! If they pressure you into an abortion by making threats of throwing you out, think how much you will resent them in the future when you realise they forced you into it.

If you keep the baby and they do throw you out, you will be given housing and benefits so you will be ok. Plus, i'm sure that if you decide to keep the baby, they will change their minds anyway.

I am not anti-abortion and think that if you feel that having the baby is not right for you at this moment then fine. But whatever happens, make sure it is your choice and not some-elses!
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Juwel
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#25
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#25
(Original post by Lisa ST)
so the only option left is ABORTION


NOOOOO1!!!! im NOt gonna do that. I dont want to kill my child i would rather kill myself.!"
Would you really? Your own life is far too valuable to do that to yourself. And what kind of life would the baby have? No grandparents and an incredibly mum who can't properly provide for it. Some life.

I reckon you should think of having the baby if your folks come round and decide to offer their support. That way it's easier should you have the kid, and makes kepping it a more realistic option.
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lou p lou
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#26
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#26
Lisa, i'm so sorry your parents reacted that way- they are probably still in shock. having a baby is such a big sacrifice- you will be ruining your education and you will miss out on the best years of your life- when all your friends are going off to uni you will be trying to get your child into a primary school. that is a quite a scary thought.

does the father even want the child? how many 16 year old lads really want to have a baby to look after from a girl they had a one-night stand with? you need to seriously sit down with your parents and the father and seriously work out what your actual options are. if you did have a baby how could you afford to look after it?

i've found that onelife page again for you- there's details of all your options and numbers of people to talk to etc.

radio one (one life)- pregnancy, the options

lou xxx
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peach_archers
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#27
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#27
Hey,

Have you considered adoption at all? As I said I am adopted and I love my parents more than anything else in the world. Also if you dont mind me asking is the father older as your posts make him sound like he is?

Good luck
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Custard
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#28
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#28
(Original post by Lisa ST)
I know i can give it to the father and when im old enough to have a baby, i can snatch it back.
This quote certainly shows that you are not ready for this child, snatch it back? Your child will have become attached to his father and you then you want to take it away from the person who he will think actually know loves him the most. I can not believe you have actually but this down on the internet for everyone to see what i naive little girl you are. The fact that you got pregnant is obscene but thinking of giving it the life were you will have no money no support it. Yes at the moment the thing that is in your stomach is an it. Not a life. Adoption is not really an option as you will have become far to attached to the lump. Abortion is the only option. You know it you just don't want to admit it. Naive!
You can't give it a life worth living. That harsh, I know, but so is life
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viviki
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#29
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#29
(Original post by Lisa ST)
so the only option left is ABORTION


NOOOOO1!!!! im NOt gonna do that. I dont want to kill my child i would rather kill myself.!"
How pregnant are you?
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nikk
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#30
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#30
(Original post by viviki)
How pregnant are you?
I think she said four months?
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lou p lou
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#31
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#31
(Original post by NikNak)
I think she said four months?
yes she did.

lou xxx
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Adhsur
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#32
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#32
I think, if you don't believe in abortion and think it's wrong (although I don't think at 4 months it is murder), adoption is the best option - there are lots of adults out there who cant have children who would love to be able to care for one. It's better than ruining your own life and the child who you wont be able to take care of.
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me!
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#33
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#33
(Original post by Lisa ST)
I know i can give it to the father and when im old enough to have a baby, i can snatch it back.
The father who told you to get out of his house? It's not fair to do that to a child... At 14 you're only just a teenager, how would you be able to support and look after a baby? Think of the baby's life if it was born, what type of life it would have...
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viviki
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#34
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#34
Well you can only have an abortion up to 24 weeks anyway so you need to know exactly how pregnant you are.
Your parents cant force you to have an abortion. First you need to go and see a doctor or get advice from a clinic. Hopefully your parents will calm down and you will come to a compromise if you really want to keep the baby.
Its a really good idea to be aware of your legal options just incase they do kick you out.
Ring childline its free phone so it wont mess up your parents phone bill and they can give you some counselling and you can have your options from someone who is both impartial and knowledgeable.
Its 0800 1111.

Heres some information about your legal options as someone who is a teen pregnancy.
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/pregnancya...187820,00.html



It tells you about what benefits you can claim, who is responsible for you if you dont live with your parents, and what your rights are like to education with a baby.
It also gives you information about one thing you havent considered at all (or not that I can see) fostering. There are schemes available when someone fosters both mum and baby, which would be an option if you did get kicked out of home
http://www.ivillage.co.uk/pregnancya...177637,00.html
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me!
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#35
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#35
(Original post by Lisa ST)
so the only option left is ABORTION


NOOOOO1!!!! im NOt gonna do that. I dont want to kill my child i would rather kill myself.!"
Maybe you should consider adoption.
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ben2111
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#36
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#36
Well, Lisa, I think only few of us can imagine what a conflict you´re going through. I don´t think I can judge, I can only tell you that I had a very good friend who had the same problem, in slightly older age. She gave the baby free for abortion the day it was born and hasn´t heard from it ever since. I don´t think this decision made her very happy and now, some 7 or 8 years later she´s still struggeling very hard to get over it.

Don´t look at abortion as murder; it is an understandable position but actually using a condom is murder as well, if you look at it the extreme way. Of course you can say in the moment when the new embryo starts to exist and a new genetic information has been formed there is new life, yes; but still, that´s a process that is repeatable an unlimited number of times! It´s really hard to say that but it is nothing special, even though every kid that is actually born is special. But you should not look at the whole thing only from your side but more from your future kid´s side, the knowledge that one was born by parents who didn´t really want to give birth can be more destroying that it is thought to be, it happened to my mum and it took ages to get it clear (in this case with her father)

Well, that´s my advice; your decision
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viviki
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#37
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#37
Ring up childline and ask for your options and they should be able to take you through them, they have some helpful info here
http://www.childline.org.uk/HowChild...hpregnancy.asp

Here is some information about foster care. i dont know how viable an option it would be but it might be something to consider.
http://www.youthinformation.com/infopage.asp?snID=246
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TK
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#38
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#38
(Original post by Lisa ST)
so the only option left is ABORTION


NOOOOO1!!!! im NOt gonna do that. I dont want to kill my child i would rather kill myself.!"
why can't you put it up for adoption?
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prince_capri
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#39
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#39
(Original post by Lisa ST)
Dont know if you remmember me but i had a problem. Im pregnant at 14.

anyway i have told my parents and they said they would kick me out if i kept the baby. I was so devastated, they are really pressuring me. Can someone please talk to me.
hey lisa.....maybe u rmember me from the morning posts.......
I must say that it was a hard job but u were able to tell ur parents about the baby, which is pretty hard for most gals to tell theirs'.
Having said that, i must say that u should go in for abortion. I understand that it can be pretty hardening on u, and i do not even know what would i have done in ur place....but understanding ur psyche, it implies to the fact that better to clean the fetus...to put it in a better way !!!

And i must also say that u will get the best of the advice here !!!

All the best for the fuure !!!
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prince_capri
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#40
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#40
(Original post by me!)
Maybe you should consider adoption.
that was harsh !!!
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