Living with a depressed person

My husband and I have just gone through some tough times and they are still continuing, but things have gotten great as well. We moved house and until yesterday evening, everything was fine. Then he started to 'look' a bit depressed to me.
This morning it was obvious that he is definitely depressed. He has never been diagnosed depressed, but he did have several panic attacks earlier this year, he did go through enormous stress afterwards (several months), while we lived with his parents in Spain (which was supposed to be a relaxing and enjoyable time).

The things is, I don't know what to do. I know he probably needs help, but there are two main problems.
We do have health insurance, but the health insurance company has not yet confirmed the new membership, nor send the cards. So going to a doctor right now is going to be tough (we are in Germany).
He does speak a little bit of German, so an English speaking doctor would probably be needed.

I just don't know what to do or how to deal with this right now :frown:

Reply 1

Fluffy

My advice would be for you to talk to him in the first instance!

Reply 2

santogold

Yeah, I have done that. I just needed a place to vent, so to speak. Seems like a hell of a lot of talking did the trick and he is feeling much better today.

Reply 3

trina

I totally understand. My ex had had recovered from major deppression before I met him and then 4 months into our relationship it started up again. It's so incredibly painful to watch someone who you love so deeply go through something like that. *big hug*
He definitely needs to see a doctor who will probably be able to help. If you're at university, is there a service provided by the university which might be able to find an english speaking doctor for you? If your German is better, is there some sort of helpline you could call and find out about where he can go? Could you ask a German friend/work colleague if they know how you would find an english speaking doctor? Are there helpline you could call? If you speak German, try googleing depression on www.google.de and see what comes up- i did it a minute ago and you get quite a lot of info but it depends what you want.
of course you need to talk to him and make sure he's happy to go and talk to him about it but if he is deppressed then he needs help not just for his sake but because of how hard this is for you too. Make sure you make time for you and have coffee with a friend or something- you'll be much better able to cope if you take some time out.
Good luck with it all
x

Reply 4

terance

I am Terance .I think I understand part of your situation ,when I'm depressed I allways think not to meet with my girlfriend(wich I met 4 years ago[or little more even]) and ruin her good mood.Most of the time I manage to get over it by my self ,though it it not the same situation and I am a stranger I offer you a hug also.

Reply 5

ledzep15

i say, you talk to him, ive had multiple panic attacks, in my opinion the best way to prevent them is to talk him out of it.

Reply 6

jbcubed3

Sorry to hear yourjoyismylow,

The best thing, as people have said, is to talk to him gently about it and try to show him through what he's depressed about. The best thing imo is having someone to support you through depression and you've definitely shown you have been caring for him during the time. It's difficult to say how to approach it without really knowing the whole situation and presumably for his sake it's best to keep it private. Hopefully you know a few friends/people in Germany who can help you out or refer you to someone.

Good luck, and the best wishes/health to your husband and yourself :smile: