My boyfriend kissed another girl...? Dont know what to do/say... Overeacting?Maybe..

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 10 years ago
#1
Okay so, I know I'm overeacting but the guy I'm with kissed another girl, I know I'm probably over reacting BUT I trusted him with all my heart, which is so hard for me to do, and I seriously never ever thought he'd be the person to do this to me, like I feel so let down. He claims the girl he kissed was just a mistake, like he was helping her out cause she was upset, he gave her a hug and the kiss just happened? Should I believe that it 'just happened'?? I feel like I'm majorly overeacting but I feel so let down... Surely if it 'just happened' it could 'just happen' again, even though he promises it won't... I don't know what to do, this time it's just a kiss. but I don't want to run the risk of next time it being something bigger, should I forgive him? Or forget him? I really do love him, but this has made me doubt his love for me... Do mistakes really just happen?
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helpneeded-a
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#2
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#2
talk to him
Aww! *hugs* If my bf did this to me, I have no idea what i'd do tbh, because i love him, loads. Wait, go shout at hit! hit him! Make yourself feel better :yep:
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Willum Infanta
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#3
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I say, was this gentleman under the influence of alcohol? :holmes:
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Anonymous #1
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I have spoken to him, but because of the breakdown of trust, I just can't believe a word he says, he says he won't do it again, but I don't know what to think?!.. And no, no he wasn't under the influence.
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User129003
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#5
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You sound like the person who would still want to be with him but cry when you are alone and act as if nothing happened
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Atomic Tundra)
You sound like the person who would still want to be with him but cry when you are alone and act as if nothing happened
I don't know whether you're trying to be mean or whatever, but yeah. I think that's exactly me, I don't think I'll be able to get over it easily.
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gordoxo
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#7
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If it's going to kill your trust in him then you should probably just break off the relationship, you can't go on always being paranoid about being cheated on (and if you do it'll probably fall apart anyway :/). It sucks, but you can find someone who won't cheat.
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cfizzle
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#8
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once a cheater, always a cheater - and i'm talking from great experience. it's going to make you very sad no matter how many times he says it won't happen again or that it was an accident. get rid of him fast!
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Anonymous #1
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does any one really think that cheating CAN be an accident?
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onthejubileeline
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#10
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This exact thing happened to me. To be honest with you, there's no right or wrong way of dealing with it. Breaking up with him isn't an overreaction, and staying with him isn't wrong or stupid if he is sorry and if you feel you can get past it. You just have to pay your money and take your choice at this point. I chose to stay with my boyfriend, and it hasn't exactly been easy, but I do love him and I'm prepared to get past it - but had I loved him less, or felt he wasn't genuine then I would have walked away. Its up to you. I really hope things work out for you, whether or not you stay with him.
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The Referee
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
does any one really think that cheating CAN be an accident?
The short answer is no.

How on earth do you accidentally kiss/make out with/have sex with another person? Either it was non-consensual or consensual - the first is not cheating, the second is.

He may not have planned or intended on cheating, but cheat he did.
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harlar
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How did he tell you? And did she kiss him, or did he kiss her? These are all quite important as if she kissed him and he came running to tell you and apologise profusely then it was obviously an accident. But, if he kissed her and you found out through someone else, or he didn't tell you immediately, then I would worry. But it really is up to you.
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kittensmittens
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(Original post by Anonymous)
does any one really think that cheating CAN be an accident?
Everyone gets tempted sometimes because no relationship is perfect and sometimes you are a bit tipsy/think someone else is cute/whatever, but cheating happens when someone is too weak and immature not to act on their temptation. If this guy was worth being with he would be able to recognize that the relationship he has with you is worth more than some girl he probably doesn't even know that well. So no, I don't think cheating can be an accident.

I was cheated on once and I forgave the guy, we stayed together a long time after that but eventually broke up because I just realized he wasn't the kind of person I wanted to be with. Looking back on it I shouldn't have forgiven him for the cheating because it gave me insight into the kind of person he is, and I could have saved myself so much time just breaking up with him then. I've also been on the other side of the equation where I've been really tempted to cheat but stopped myself because I knew it wasn't fair to the person I was seeing. I eventually realized I really liked the other guy so instead of cheating I broke up with the person I was with and started a proper relationship with the other guy (which is still going strong ). Anyways, my point is it is all about self control and it doesn't seem like this guy has any. Dump him.
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Cuckoo91
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#14
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Tell him he has to prove that you should take him back and to earn back your trust. If he can't come up with any ways to do that, then end it. If he really cares, he'll think of something.
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Final Fantasy
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#15
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay so, I know I'm overeacting but the guy I'm with kissed another girl, I know I'm probably over reacting BUT I trusted him with all my heart, which is so hard for me to do, and I seriously never ever thought he'd be the person to do this to me, like I feel so let down. He claims the girl he kissed was just a mistake, like he was helping her out cause she was upset, he gave her a hug and the kiss just happened? Should I believe that it 'just happened'?? I feel like I'm majorly overeacting but I feel so let down... Surely if it 'just happened' it could 'just happen' again, even though he promises it won't... I don't know what to do, this time it's just a kiss. but I don't want to run the risk of next time it being something bigger, should I forgive him? Or forget him? I really do love him, but this has made me doubt his love for me... Do mistakes really just happen?
He's going to do it again and the next time, it could be worse. Rather than let him control and manipulate you with words, get rid of him and move on, otherwise you risk being more hurt than you'll ever know and it's a very steep slope to recovery.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by harleygrant)
How did he tell you? And did she kiss him, or did he kiss her? These are all quite important as if she kissed him and he came running to tell you and apologise profusely then it was obviously an accident. But, if he kissed her and you found out through someone else, or he didn't tell you immediately, then I would worry. But it really is up to you.
He kept it from me for 3 months. I found out from HER. because she felt so bad. This is what is making me doubt everything so much. It's sending me crazy I swear. I know I should break up with him, but I don't know. :eek3:
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Jimbo1234
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Ooh, someone is losing interest in you.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Jimbo1234)
Ooh, someone is losing interest in you.
Probably that, yeah.
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Ayostunner
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#19
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Aww sorry hun
i know if my boyfriend did that to me i'll be distraught as well.
Its up to you now what you want to do . if you feel you can move past this and grow to trust him again then deuces, but if you wont be able to get past this then break it off . i feel for you though.
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modgepodge
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Hmm, it's a tricky one. I've been with my BF nearly 4 years and we live together, he came home after visiting his mates back where his parents live a few months ago in a really funny mood. Turns out in a drunken stupour he'd kissed another girl. He owned up straight away, and offered to get out the house if I wanted him to, and was clearly very sorry. Obviously I was very upset, but I don't think he'll do it again and at the end of the day, I think we've got a future together and one drunken mishap isn't going to finish that. However, I suspect you are bit younger than me, haven't been with him as long as I have, and he didn't immediately own up (or own up at all). I think in your position, I'd break up with him. Don't stay with him just cos it's the easiest thing to do.
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