The Student Room Group

Am i being stupid?

basically ive been in uni for just over 2 weeks (having a fantastic time btw),....anways ive sort of kissed quite a few people since ive been here... nothing serious just a bit of fun. but theres one lad who i really like, i met him on my first day and we get on great and have a laugh. he came up to me at the union and we had a bit of a kiss and a cuddle... then i saw him the next day, and the day after that etc just hanging out and generally having a good time.... we held hands and that sort of thing. but the other night i walked into a club to see him all over another girl. i wasnt upset thou... just felt a bit let down and all my friends told be to forget him.... but he phoned the next day and we decided to be friends, as i think he is such a great guy. however the next night we both ended upat the same clud... he saw me with another guy and he went off in a mood! i couldnt believe it! anyway we talked and both agreeed that we really like each other but dnt want a relationship yet as it is tooo soon, and then came up with the idea that were in an "open relationship" ... something i swore i would never ever do. but im not sure if im doing the right thing. il probably end up gettin my heart broken by him.... ive only just got over my last serious relationship which ended badly about a year ago. what do u guys think i should do? should i continue seeing this guy just as mates (although we always end up kissing and cuddlin... and probably more preety soon) or should i just leave it for a while and see what happens?
Open relationships, breaks etc, they're just not good relationship presidents! I really think its not a good idea, be either in or out of a monogomous relationship! sounds to me like he just wants his fingers in all the pies! You're better off without! `
Reply 2
i agree with lauren. if this relationship is open then it is generally taken to be a purely sexually based relationship, in which he will usually come to u for sex but may go elsewhere if he has offers.

if u want a relationship like this then go for it.

but if u have any self respect and dignity, then ask for something more. there is a middle ground between a full relationship and an open relationship. this middle ground is just the getting to know u period, where u are unoffically together but keeping things cool and not serious.
Reply 3
You're better off without!


sound exactly like my friends... i know there right but i dont want to give him up just yet
Reply 4
I agree; if it's open then it'll generally remain like that unless something really significant draws you together. It's good to hear though that you've met people and seem to be enjoying Uni life - maybe don't take things too seriously too soon. As others have said, don't expect too much from this person immediately, but I reckon he'll or someone else will be the right one when it's time.

He may also feel similar, and from what you said he probably does. See how it goes but don't expect too much too soon :smile:

Keep it cool and enjoy yourself! :smile: Good luck
Reply 5
Sounds like it could only end up working out bad. I'd say you either make an agreement to be together or not at all. It's the start of your Uni life, if you don't want to get tied up yet, keep your options open and don't loose the opportunity of a good friend.
Reply 6
He sounds like a lothario. I've met plenty in my time; and the reason they are lotharios is because they always seem to get you to be dependant on them and you can't help looking like a sucker whilst you fall for them, and they just continuously take the piss. Take your mates advice and forget about him - at least in a relationship sense - I'm sure it won't just be the one girl you see him "all over".