I really like him, I just don't find him attractive

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#1
There's this boy who I've know for ages, and I think I really like him, but I just don't find him attractive :/ I want to, because I do like him and I think we get along really well, and I know that he likes me, but I am kind of scared that if I tell him that I like him or do anything then it might just not work out (because of there being no attraction physically) and that I'll end up hurting him :/

I know this probably sounds really stupid and trivial or whatever, but it's really eating me up inside because I just don't know what to do plus I can't talk to anyone about it because all my friends are good friends of his, plus the only friend who I'm close enough to talk to about it anyway is his cousin, so I don't think that's a good idea :/

If anyone's been in a similar situation or has any advice it would be much appreciated
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Muffin.
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#2
Report 11 years ago
#2
Are you me? lol you described my situation almost perfectly.
Don't go out with him if you don't find him attractive, it sounds shallow but there has to be at least some attraction there. Give it time, maybe you'll come to find him attractive.

Good luck.
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Arnotts
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#3
Report 11 years ago
#3
Yeah I've had this with a few people too. Theres nothing you can do but let the feelings pass. Theres no point taking it futher as you will regret doing so the minute he tries to kiss you.
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Anonymous #2
#4
Report 11 years ago
#4
I was in this situation with 2 guys (one of them is on tsr actually).
Guy 1 is my best friend but he is not at all my type physically and personality wise, he is my polar opposite.
Guy 2 had a personality very similar yo' mine and wasn't physically my type. I thought I'd never be physically attracted to him but the more you like someones personality, the more attractive they will become to you. Give it time and you will start seeing how he could possibly be quite physically attractive to you
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James4d
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#5
Report 11 years ago
#5
If you really like someone, their face should be the face you most want to see- whether or not they're considered physically attractive.
9
Alt__x
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#6
Report 11 years ago
#6
I have went out with someone I didn't consider attractive and it only lasted a few months. When I realised I really wasn't sexually attracted to him, I knew we couldn't go anywhere.
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Kiwiguy
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#7
Report 11 years ago
#7
You are a tool.
1
PasserBy9
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#8
Report 11 years ago
#8
I'm pretty sure I've seen a thread like this before.

Isn't it normally followed about two months later by another one thread confessing that, now the guy in question has got a girlfriend, the OP does in fact realise that he is incredible attractive and starts kicking themselves that they never asked him out when they had a chance?

Think that is what the normal storyline usually is.
1
JenKat
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#9
Report 11 years ago
#9
This is a tough one because although physical attraction can grow as you get to know someone, it sometimes doesn't. I've been in a similar situation where I became infatuated with a friend who I knew really liked me. We ended up seeing each other and although I couldn't stop thinking about him and loved being around him, I honestly couldn't bring myself to do anything physical with him. It was odd because I did genuinely like him and although he wasn't unattractive he just didn't do anything for me. It was almost as if because I wasn't immediately attracted to him and then we spent ages getting to know each other that the relationship became a good friendship rather than anything romantic.

Not sure where I'm going with this but I guess I would just advise you that while attraction can grow you can't necessarily bank on the fact that you will grow to fancy him. It's difficult because when you really get on with someone you can feel like you have to take the opportunity but ultimately you need to feel attracted to someone for it to work. I always think as well that when you know someone likes you it makes you more likely to overlook the attraction thing because it seems a good opportunity though I don't mean that in a cold, cynical way.
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ZizziHikaru
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#10
Report 11 years ago
#10
I've never had this and I don't understand. Surely if you like him with no physical attraction he's just your friend?
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elixira
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#11
Report 11 years ago
#11
Hahaha aww I've been in this situation so many times! Generally once you actually kiss them or whatever it's okay, but obviously it doesn't last forever and when it does end you're just like WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?

Is there chemistry between you two?
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ZizziHikaru
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#12
Report 11 years ago
#12
Someone explain this to me!
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Anoodles
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#13
Report 11 years ago
#13
Wait wait, so you fancy him (or don't)? Or you just like him as a person/enjoy his company?

Er... if so...why are you even contemplating going out with him if you don't fancy him!! It will just ruin a great friendship by the sounds of it. I mean, imagine a couple of months down the line, if your boyfriend said he just didn't find you physically attractive- but liked your personality.
When you fancy someone you should know - even if some other people consider them ugly or whatever, if I like someone that much I will start to feel some physical attraction to them. It sounds to me like you just have a great friendship there - and I would not attempt to turn it into anything else until you are certain whether you are attracted to him or not. - You can't really force these things though, so will just end up hurting him more if you mention it to him...
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Anonymous #1
#14
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#14
(Original post by Anoodles)
Wait wait, so you fancy him (or don't)? Or you just like him as a person/enjoy his company?

Er... if so...why are you even contemplating going out with him if you don't fancy him!! It will just ruin a great friendship by the sounds of it. I mean, imagine a couple of months down the line, if your boyfriend said he just didn't find you physically attractive- but liked your personality.
When you fancy someone you should know - even if some other people consider them ugly or whatever, if I like someone that much I will start to feel some physical attraction to them. It sounds to me like you just have a great friendship there - and I would not attempt to turn it into anything else until you are certain whether you are attracted to him or not. - You can't really force these things though, so will just end up hurting him more if you mention it to him...
Sorry I don't think I made it very clear, if I ignored the physical aspect of it, and concentrated on his personality and such, I do fancy him, I can't stop thinking about him, and it's not that he's like dreadfully unattractive, I just personally don't find him attractive :/
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Luceria
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#15
Report 11 years ago
#15
I completely understand. It's a weird situation to be in. I'm in it myself.
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Wow87
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#16
Report 6 years ago
#16
I am in this situation also, my best friend and I have been getting very close recently and its confusing me. I am not attracted to him but we have had a few moments recently where we have cuddled for ages and all sorts of feelings are flying around, stroking eachothers backs and both obviously feeling really turned on. We kissed but it was wierd and i couldnt enjoy it coz i was just thinking ahh hes my best friend( almost like kissing a brother). I know that he likes me and dont want to hurt him but theres chemistry there, i just dont know if its because i havent been with someone in a long time and im enjoying the closeness. I dont wanna ruin anything between us but dont want to completely dissmiss it.

After reading the other comments im thinking i should tell him that i dont wanna ruin our friendship and as much as i love the cuddles, maybe they are a little too intimate for our friendship. I have noticed that apart from the lack of attraction we would make a good couple but i just cant look at him without thinking ahhh best friend!!! I can tell he has changed his view on me and hes a sensitive soul, i could try and talk to him about it, i do feel different around him, still comfortable but things have changed :/
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liviward36
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#17
Report 6 years ago
#17
has anyone actually found an answer to this?! Could really do with it!
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YHWH.YOLO
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#18
Report 6 years ago
#18
If Beyonce finds Jay Z attractive. I really don't know what to say.... Be grateful. I hope he's not that ugly.
3
liviloveslife
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#19
Report 6 years ago
#19
I'm in the same situation and really need some help on what to do because most of my friends are also quite close with him so I can't ask them about it
does anyone have any advice
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Alexion
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#20
Report 6 years ago
#20
(Original post by liviloveslife)
I'm in the same situation and really need some help on what to do because most of my friends are also quite close with him so I can't ask them about it
does anyone have any advice
If you don't 'like' like him then don't bother. It'll save him from future heartbreak...
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