in a pickle

First off, let me point out I'm exactly what the username suggests :rolleyes:

... I recently 'came out' to a close friend of mine (my cousin) and got talking to one of her friends about it. I like him a lot but we'll probably stay friends, and he's already in love with someone (but not in a relationship with him). There are loads of attractive guys in college, and I can't tell if they "swing that way" and I'm way too shy to say anything. I'd love to be in a relationship with someone but it's too hard to get in one in the first place. Any advice?

:embarasse

Reply 1

*starry_eyed_*

I think a lot of people are always asking the same question and perhaps conscious of the people arond them, well my friend gives me that impression, but that may just be him! Just get talking to guys and concentrate on building up a friendship with them at first, see how it goes! good luck and enjoy it! :smile:

Reply 2

Max Power

gay boy clubs ?

Reply 3

Skinwalker

Max Power

gay boy clubs ?

What the hell do you mean by that? If you want to get all discriminate, stop. Keep those moronic thoughts to yourself.

I know you were making a suggestion but you said it in an offensive manner.

Reply 4

Little Girl Red

I think you should go to the local gay clubs and get involved in the gay scene in your city/town. That way you will meet loads of guys - and know for sure that they swing your way!

Have fun and take care

Reply 5

silence

i dont think that's the place for a 16 year old really. i mean, i know that heterosexual under 18s go out to clubs, but hmm. there might be a slight difference. i wouldn't know though.

Reply 6

Poica

Introvert

What the hell do you mean by that? If you want to get all discriminate, stop. Keep those moronic thoughts to yourself.

I know you were making a suggestion but you said it in an offensive manner.

I honestly don't know where you read that...don't be over-sensistive about your sexuality (or anything else). Also, don't read emotion into online stuff, or you'll get in a mess.
As far as meeting someone - at your age it'll be more difficult. Bars...especially gay bars are really for over-18s. Either you come out in general, or you accept that for now you'll be single.

Reply 7

MagicNMedicine

silence

i dont think that's the place for a 16 year old really. i mean, i know that heterosexual under 18s go out to clubs, but hmm. there might be a slight difference. i wouldn't know though.

Not really, there will be predatory older males in these clubs just like there are in hetrosexual clubs. I can imagine some will take advantage of young guys who are in a stage of not yet being totally sure of their sexuality and also being shy about approaching guys (heck its stressful enough at that age in the heterosexual world where you just assume all girls are "available", never mind having to assess which other lads have the same sexuality!)

I lived with a gay lad in my first year at uni and he said when he first realised his sexuality he found it very difficult to meet people and he relied on using gay chatrooms to build up his confidence and sense of being accepted, just to get used to talking to people. When he arrived at uni and had moved away from parents etc he found the gay clubs and realistically that was the best way of meeting potential partners, and he did become much less introverted after a few months of uni.

Remember that the other guys who are going there are going to be in the same situation (ie finding it hard to meet people with 'potential') and at least there you don't have the awkwardness of "is he/isn't he"

Just be wary of the 28 year old who comes onto you saying he will teach you things, you might be used as his "bit of action"! Look for guys your own age who you can explore things with together in an unpressured environment.

But the same advice holds for 16 year old straight girls who start going out clubbing, as a 25 year old lad I know all about this business of younger girls giving you attention because it's flattering, I'm not comfortable with it at all but I know plenty of lads who enjoy the sport of devirginisation and bragging about it