This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Boyfriend or uni?

Basically, I can go to Westminster Uni and live with my b/f or go to Edinburgh (obviously better) and break up with him, we have been going out for 2 years and I really don't know what to do, is Uni really worth leavin him behind?

Reply 1

Apricot Fairy

16

Yes, in a word. You should definitely go to Edinburgh if you get an offer. If your relationship with your boyfriend is strong enough, it won't matter whether you're in London or Edinburgh. If you're really meant to be together, you'll make it work. But you don't want to stay in London to be with him, then split up and wish you'd gone for Edinburgh, or stay with him and end up resenting him because you could have gone somewhere much better. Your education is something which will always be a part of you. It's something that nobody can take away from you, no matter what happens. You and your boyfriend might split up, or one of you might get run over by a bus. You never know what will happen, and you can't guarantee he will be in your future whether you stay in London or not.

I know two years is a long time, but it's not *that* long. People are married for twenty years, then divorce and find someone else. That's why you've got to do what is best for you.

Reply 2

ruthiepoothie

11

claireharmz

Basically, I can go to Westminster Uni and live with my b/f or go to Edinburgh (obviously better) and break up with him, we have been going out for 2 years and I really don't know what to do, is Uni really worth leavin him behind?

Don't make your choice based on him, make it based on what you want to do. I was in kind of a similar situation: I could either stay at a Uni close to home in order to be close to him or move further away to sheffield, a uni that I really liked (although not that far, far enough to mean it would make it more difficult for us to see each other). I chose to stay close to home and go to birmingham. We broke up at the beggining of my second term at uni. So my point is, you have to do what is best for you, because no matter how hard you try or where you are, there is always a chance that things won't work out and you don't want to be left with regrets thinking you wished you'd have gone to a different uni or whatever.

Although edinburgh may seem really far away, the flights to up there now are really cheap and if you love each other and both want to make it work then there's no reason that it can't work out. One of my best friends is at uni in exeter and her boyfriend is in cardiff, and it takes forever to get from one place to the other but they're making it work.

Seriously, if you want to go to edinburgh then you should. Yes your boyfriend may take a while to understand, but if he loves you, which i'm sure he does then he'll understand that its what you want to do, and what's best for you, and should support your decision.

Good luck with it all,and if you want to talk more then just pm/email me/add me to msn.

Ruthie xx

Reply 3

killerbee

12

UNI all the way
nomatter where you go uni will change both of you and your relationship will change (possibly for the worse)
dont do something you will regret

Reply 4

terance

These are always though choices to make...

Reply 5

SlyPie

12

Is this a joke thread?

Edinburgh all the way. Relationships don't last; what you make of yourself does.

Reply 6

randdom

20

I would have to say go for Uni, I am currently at uni with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years. THe fact that we both ended up going to the same unis was really lucky but we had already decided that if we both go into different unis we would go to our respective unis and if it worked then in was meant to be if it didn't then it wasn't. I would talk to him about it too and see what he has to say.

Reply 7

Reue

20

this really is one of the dumbest questions ever. NOBODY at this age is worth you changing your decision on where to go to uni, its your life not theirs

Reply 8

Little Girl Red

1

this really is one of the dumbest questions ever

not really! you're saying its an easy decision for her to make - to leave her boyfriend behind, miles away? not at all! even if "at this age" the relationship might not be for the longterm, its still hard to leave somebody that you care about a lot, not knowing when you're going to see them next, to know that you wont get to see them and hug them and kiss them for gaps of at least a week each time. that is hard regardless of what age you are.

fair enough, i agree that she should primarily put her education first. but i dont think that it is one of the "dumbest questions ever" - its one of the hardest decisions to make i think! so its fair enough that she wants a bit of help on it.
have you never been in love? wouldn't you find it hard to leave your girlfriend somewhere miles away and hardly ever see them?

Is he going to uni?

Reue

this really is one of the dumbest questions ever. NOBODY at this age is worth you changing your decision on where to go to uni, its your life not theirs

Its so easy to say that. But when you are desperately in love with a person and closer to them than anyone else in the world then it can change everything. Especially big life desicions like uni.

When I left my boyfriend to go to uni it broke my heart. It still aches now.

Its hard enough to leave any person at home when you go to uni let alone someone you are in love with.

Reply 11

IzzTheGreat

10

Your boyfriend is irrelevant (for the time being). Go to the uni you think is best for you, and try to make the distance work. Phone, internet, travelling - it is possible. Good luck.

Reply 12

Purple

18

What are you going to do at uni? Isn't there an equally good university a little closer (in england)

Reply 13

Clairehayz

OP

5

Reue

this really is one of the dumbest questions ever. NOBODY at this age is worth you changing your decision on where to go to uni, its your life not theirs

But it doesn't mean I don't care about them and as you said this is my life and this is what I want. Obviously you didn't have to make this decision as nobody loved you!

Reply 14

MissisKate

I was in a three year relationship that ended because we were goin to uni - a month on and I don't regret at all.

As everyone else is saying... it's a time in your life when you've got to think about the future and think about yourself.

It will hurt but it's not the end of the world...

Reply 15

username21537

2

As callous and cold hearted as it may seem, youre only young and you can almost guarentee that you and he wont make it till youre old and grey.. I cant think of a single teenage/20 relationship that makes it. Think of it as cutting your losses

And if im going to be proved wrong, then you and he can make it work at endinburgh (i cant spell it lol)

Reply 16

Clairehayz

OP

5

kirstinx

Is he going to uni?

Nope, he works!

Reply 17

Luvbug

9

It's a tough choice for you but I would listen to all the people here and go to Edinburgh. I'm with MR JR on this one. It's not worth sacrificing so much so you can be near your boyfriend. If he wants the best for you then he'll understand (he may not like it but...). Go to Edinburgh, have fun, and if your relationship lasts the distance, well done, but if it doesn't it's not the end of the world and on the bright side you'll have a great degree at the end of it!

Reply 18

Lawzza

A friend of mine was in the exact same situation as you. I will tell you what I told her :it is your life, live it- do not plan your life around your boy friend.After all, if the situation was reversed,would he do it for you?
It will be tough, but if you decide not to go to your first choice- you will always wonder 'what if?'
Make the choice that is best for you

Reply 19

Zurich

9

You're the only person that can answer this. We can't wiegh up the pros and cons for you... we don't know him, or you for that matter.

If it was possible to do what I wanted at uni and be with someone I love at the same time, love would win every time. But then I would say that, other people will tell you it's better to go for the uni you want.

Depends which will make you happiest in the long run I guess

Boyfriend or uni?

Related discussions

Articles for you