is confidence the key?

im lonely... never had a proper boyfriend. My question is- is confience the key to have boys interested in you? For those of you who have read my 'ultimate deppression thread' you will know that im shy and dont have any confidence whatsoever. I am way too shy and am not like those people who are chatty and laughy and the center of attention.
So.. what you all think? am i going to be lonely forever if i carry on the way i am?

Reply 1

Max Power

ur only 16, yet your already bracing urself for a lonely life of a spinster.

don't change urself yet.

give it some time.

Reply 2

ellen8899

I think I could understand what you feel because I have similar situation. When I fancy someone I always don’t know how to make a move and kind of scared he gonna refuse me. My mum always tell me to be confident and think positive but I just can’t because every time when I fancy someone there always something going wrong.
Well I just want to tell you what my friends been told me when I feel sad, "maybe you just didn’t meet the right guy yet, so keep believing there would be someone for you. " Also everyone is special so don’t feel bad about yourself and you need to trust yourself.
(In the same time I told you that, I need to keep telling myself as well)

Reply 3

Ferrus

19

Well it may make you "invisble" which might hinder things a bit but lets be honest as soon as you catch the right guys eye your fine. Being shy is far more of a hinderence to guys in this respect.

Reply 4

worried_mess

12

I much prefer shy girls to loud confident ones, but maybe thats just me..

Reply 5

jbcubed3

1

Being shy isn't a bad thing I reckon, and yes perhaps it is harder to find someone because as less chatty people it's more difficult to get talking or taking that step to chat to someone. Thankfully though, in some ways, we've got the barrier like MSN and forums that could help overcome some of the confidence factors maybe.

If you go to college/uni/job you can begin to become a bit more confident in taking to people, especially in the public eye. Don't worry though, you shouldn't really consider it a bad thing, and as some have said there are people who prefer us quieter people!

Take care,

Reply 6

Luvbug

9

Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal. There are loads of shy people around and they still get noticed. Your only 16, I felt exactly the same way (look at me putting on airs with my 2 years (only just!) more experience- you should tell me to shut up!). I felt that no-one would like me and that I'd end up a lonely spinster! (this may still happen of course but...!) Honestly I think it's just a phase. I found that when I got into the 6th form life got way better and I became less shy. Don't worry too much about this. Go and live your life doing what you want instead. If your shy, your shy, it's no big deal!

Reply 7

john171

11

Luvbug

Don't worry about it. It's not a big deal. There are loads of shy people around and they still get noticed. Your only 16, I felt exactly the same way (look at me putting on airs with my 2 years (only just!) more experience- you should tell me to shut up!). I felt that no-one would like me and that I'd end up a lonely spinster! (this may still happen of course but...!) Honestly I think it's just a phase. I found that when I got into the 6th form life got way better and I became less shy. Don't worry too much about this. Go and live your life doing what you want instead. If your shy, your shy, it's no big deal!

Exactly. It takes all sorts of people to make a group. Shy, loud, outrageous and so forth.

:smile:

Reply 8

kriztinae

14

when i was younger i was shy and had absolutley no confidence, as i grew older and became more mature i started gaining conficent.
it will come dont worry.
plus confidence is what may make you stand out, but at the end of the day if a guy likes you then ull stand out anyway so dont worry about it :smile:

Reply 9

Icy Ghost

2

There are chatty girls who haven't had a proper boyfriend before, and there are shy girls who have boyfriends.

So confidence isn't necessarily the "key".

:smile:

Reply 10

loopyloo243

1

Hey, I'm shy too :smile:

. I find that in time I've become more confident, especially in Sixth Form. Don't worry about being shy, I've been this way for a long time and I've managed to force people to fall in love with me. :wink:

Reply 11

gas_panic!

12

Confidence is a preference to the habitual voyeur of what is known as.....

Reply 12

cameleon

I'm 17 and just started my A2 year. I still havent had a 'proper' boyfriend and like you, I keep thinking that I never will. I really liked this guy a few months ago. We got on quite well, but I think my lack of confidence had a major part to play in us not getting together. But now I think, maybe its me, and not the fact that Im not outgoing. I'm not saying this applies to you, but I think Im just really paranoid and that makes me think that the guys I like find me repulsive. The slightest things they comment on make me think 'why did he say that?' or 'he said that because he wants me to leave him alone'...Ah paranoia-the destroyer in my life. God, I sound like a psycho dont I...(again me being paranoid probably).

Anyway totally gone off point here so maybe i'll shut up.

Reply 13

Cherry Kisses

OP

13

thankyou for all the lurvly advice :smile:

Im gonna try to become more confident, and talk to people more. i'll really try my hardest, but if not then i guess i'l just stay the way i am and hope boys like me eventhough im shy

thanks my friendys :smile:

Reply 14

RoCkPoRt

confidence is everything. personality isnt as big a deal as everyone makes out, as long as your confident. of course it makes a impact, as does looks. but confidence is, as you say, the key.

Reply 15

MNBStyle

9

~cherrykisses~

im lonely... never had a proper boyfriend. My question is- is confience the key to have boys interested in you? For those of you who have read my 'ultimate deppression thread' you will know that im shy and dont have any confidence whatsoever. I am way too shy and am not like those people who are chatty and laughy and the center of attention.
So.. what you all think? am i going to be lonely forever if i carry on the way i am?

No because some decent guys out there will like you for who you are, im personally attracted to girls who are themselves,
if i met you and you was how you say you are it wouldn't put me off one bit. :wink:

Reply 16

SlyPie

12

You're 16...stop worrying about silly stuff.