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Love someone but cheat on them? Why?
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Reply 20
she kissed you, while engaged to someone else, and thats just being friendly? your a ****ing dumb ass mate. yes it is cheating, don't try to justify that ********.
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it doesn't matter if you love your partner or not, its about loyalty, dedication, self-control and trust. if you cheat while in any kind of relationship, you obviously lack the above four values.
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it doesn't matter if you love your partner or not, its about loyalty, dedication, self-control and trust. if you cheat while in any kind of relationship, you obviously lack the above four values.
Reply 21
15
Cheating is the worst thing in the world. If you find yourself falling for someone else while in a relationship, at least have the decency to end the relationship before pursuing the other person!
Reply 22
" and one night I got really drunk and a friend who I trusted to look after me started kissing me"
Now that is offloading the guilt/blame.
Now that is offloading the guilt/blame.
Reply 23
wizard
" and one night I got really drunk and a friend who I trusted to look after me started kissing me"
Now that is offloading the guilt/blame.
Now that is offloading the guilt/blame.
I didn't say I didn't kiss him back. I'm making the point that I didn't initiate it.
When people are drunk, they wouldn't necessarily make a move, but if somoene started kissing them, it's sometimes natural to continue kissing them.
I'm sure a lot of people here have had someone kiss them when drunk, and started kissing them back, then thought "omg this person is ugly/whatever" and pulled away - I mean when single. I know it's happened to me!
Reply 24
LibertineNorth
You'd have to be an addict of good standing before your nose suffered any cosmetic effects from cocaine use.
thats ok then - ill just contact my dealer
Reply 25
L.J
I didn't say I didn't kiss him back. I'm making the point that I didn't initiate it.
When people are drunk, they wouldn't necessarily make a move, but if somoene started kissing them, it's sometimes natural to continue kissing them.
I'm sure a lot of people here have had someone kiss them when drunk, and started kissing them back, then thought "omg this person is ugly/whatever" and pulled away - I mean when single. I know it's happened to me!
When people are drunk, they wouldn't necessarily make a move, but if somoene started kissing them, it's sometimes natural to continue kissing them.
I'm sure a lot of people here have had someone kiss them when drunk, and started kissing them back, then thought "omg this person is ugly/whatever" and pulled away - I mean when single. I know it's happened to me!
no.
Reply 26
RoCkPoRt
no.
All attractive and sociable people here will have had unwanted advances. That's be 90% of us I reckon.
Reply 27
17
L.J
The first time I'd been going out with a guy for about 8 months. He lived 200 miles away (he moved after 4 months) and I saw him every weekend or every other weekend. He didn't treat me well. He was possessive and violent and hit me on many occasions. The guy I cheated on him with wasn't just a random. He was nice to me and treated me well, but even so, I ditched him to stay with my boyfriend (and confessed all). My boyfriend then tried to rape me and threw me down the stairs, things like that. So I split up with him after a month of this.
Sorry if this isn't something you want to talk about, but it's something I've never really understood. If a guy treats you THAT badly, then why the hell would you stay with him?
Reply 28
L.J
I didn't say I didn't kiss him back. I'm making the point that I didn't initiate it.
When people are drunk, they wouldn't necessarily make a move, but if somoene started kissing them, it's sometimes natural to continue kissing them.
I'm sure a lot of people here have had someone kiss them when drunk, and started kissing them back, then thought "omg this person is ugly/whatever" and pulled away - I mean when single. I know it's happened to me!
When people are drunk, they wouldn't necessarily make a move, but if somoene started kissing them, it's sometimes natural to continue kissing them.
I'm sure a lot of people here have had someone kiss them when drunk, and started kissing them back, then thought "omg this person is ugly/whatever" and pulled away - I mean when single. I know it's happened to me!
Yeah im sorry - ive wrongly interpreted it. I just argue that monogamy is not natural like someone else elequently put it previously...you may well find someone, 'the one', but there surely is someone else neo 'the one', not quite as ideally perfect but has something more attractive about them in a particular department!
Very complicated...not predictable...human beings are disastrous creatures anyways, well the majority are.
Reply 29
20
L.J
I'm sure a lot of people here have had someone kiss them when drunk, and started kissing them back, then thought "omg this person is ugly/whatever" and pulled away - I mean when single. I know it's happened to me!
I'm sure a lot of people here have had someone kiss them when drunk, and started kissing them back, then thought "omg this person is ugly/whatever" and pulled away - I mean when single. I know it's happened to me!
Been there, done that one, though not while in a relationship.
The thing I can't understand is the defence that "it just happened." I can understand that with a kiss, because of the situation described above. But not with sex - you don't just go from suddenly standing talking to someone to having sex without a reasonable set of events in between. Surely if, at some point during that time, your partner doesn't pop into your head and you realise "I really really should get out of here" then you're not in love? How can you be in a situation like that and NOT think of the person you should be with?
Reply 30
Dalimyr
Sorry if this isn't something you want to talk about, but it's something I've never really understood. If a guy treats you THAT badly, then why the hell would you stay with him?
Scared to leave him. He made me feel as if I would never find anyone else cos I was worthless. Not a nice bloke! (Although he was to begin with).
--------------
Helenia
Been there, done that one, though not while in a relationship.
The thing I can't understand is the defence that "it just happened." I can understand that with a kiss, because of the situation described above. But not with sex - you don't just go from suddenly standing talking to someone to having sex without a reasonable set of events in between. Surely if, at some point during that time, your partner doesn't pop into your head and you realise "I really really should get out of here" then you're not in love? How can you be in a situation like that and NOT think of the person you should be with?
The thing I can't understand is the defence that "it just happened." I can understand that with a kiss, because of the situation described above. But not with sex - you don't just go from suddenly standing talking to someone to having sex without a reasonable set of events in between. Surely if, at some point during that time, your partner doesn't pop into your head and you realise "I really really should get out of here" then you're not in love? How can you be in a situation like that and NOT think of the person you should be with?
You do think of them...if you don't, then you can't love them. And if you do think of them and continue, you can't love them.
Reply 31
personally all my male friends have cheated in one way or another. Even the nice ones, the safe ones, the decent ones. The ones you would never suspect.
My opionion is that few relationships in the real world is of the all consuming, passion and fire and you-and-only-you type that we imagine. The feeling that you love someone so much that no one else compares is very very rare. So to cheat or not cheat is really a decision.
People make the mistake of thinking that you can't help so many things, that you can't help how you feel. Really lots of things are just a decision.
My opionion is that few relationships in the real world is of the all consuming, passion and fire and you-and-only-you type that we imagine. The feeling that you love someone so much that no one else compares is very very rare. So to cheat or not cheat is really a decision.
People make the mistake of thinking that you can't help so many things, that you can't help how you feel. Really lots of things are just a decision.
Reply 32
still_ill
personally all my male friends have cheated in one way or another. Even the nice ones, the safe ones, the decent ones. The ones you would never suspect.
My opionion is that few relationships in the real world is of the all consuming, passion and fire and you-and-only-you type that we imagine. The feeling that you love someone so much that no one else compares is very very rare. So to cheat or not cheat is really a decision.
People make the mistake of thinking that you can't help so many things, that you can't help how you feel. Really lots of things are just a decision.
My opionion is that few relationships in the real world is of the all consuming, passion and fire and you-and-only-you type that we imagine. The feeling that you love someone so much that no one else compares is very very rare. So to cheat or not cheat is really a decision.
People make the mistake of thinking that you can't help so many things, that you can't help how you feel. Really lots of things are just a decision.
sounds like your friends with great people. oh wait, i can't say that, or i'll die from a implosion of sarcasm. if you need to decide about cheating, you shouldn't be in a relationship.
Reply 33
Judging from the majority of his recent posts, Mr Rockport seems to have an enormous amount/burden of teen angst...
But yes...too much búllshitting going on Rockport, too much hypocrisy and selfish behaviour going on..
But yes...too much búllshitting going on Rockport, too much hypocrisy and selfish behaviour going on..
Reply 34
"if you need to decide about cheating, you shouldn't be in a relationship."
I guess you mean by that that being in a relationship automatically means one is so in love with the other not cheating is just natural. My point is that this is really unrealistic. So yes you do need to DECIDE not to cheat. Not because of passionate love or something, but because you have that decency/morality in your character.
So not cheating is not about how much you love someone, but rather your internal strength of character.
And yes people do make mistakes, but some rather more easily than others...
I guess you mean by that that being in a relationship automatically means one is so in love with the other not cheating is just natural. My point is that this is really unrealistic. So yes you do need to DECIDE not to cheat. Not because of passionate love or something, but because you have that decency/morality in your character.
So not cheating is not about how much you love someone, but rather your internal strength of character.
And yes people do make mistakes, but some rather more easily than others...
Reply 35
If u love someone then obviously u dont plan on cheating on them or hurting them in any way, but sometimes, eg: under the influence of alcohol or drugs ...... it can happen. Im not saying that it justifies it, coz i dont think it does, but i also can see how those situations can come about
Reply 36
Kondar
I've been in love with the same girl for a long time now and to be honest, other girls dont exist to me. I have yet to even be tempted to cheat on her, let alone follow through with it.
are you 12? LOL just kidding. keep it up!
Reply 37
No i dont think u can be in love with someone and cheat on them.. i do think u can be in lust with someone and cheat on them! Having been on both sides of it, i can confidently say nothing good ever comes out of it!
Reply 38
welll...
my longterm boyfriend (18 months) used to go out with my best friend. she cheated on him like 5 times in the 4 months that they were going out. she told me about it which was very hard because i was his best friend also. she split up with him and then they randomly did stuff at a party whilst she was with another guy - but she hadnt told him that.
in the end i told him everything and i saw for myself the effects that cheating has on somebody.
since we've been together i have not been tempted to cheat on him. i love him so much and i trust him indefinitely. i know that he wouldnt do it to me and so i wouldnt do it to him. never.
however... i have been in situations where some guy has been coming on to me and ive been drunk etc and there has been like a moment where ive realised exactly where this could go. but every time i have chosen to not cheat because it would tear me up inside and i just love him so much that i couldnt bear to hurt him. it hasnt even been a hard decision for me to make - all i have to do is just move a bit further away from the guy and start talking to somebody else. its not a hard thing to do.
but to the guy who said about a rush - that is true. sometimes i get a rush when i realise where it could go. but just because the rush is tehre and i know what could happen would be exciting doesnt mean that i EVER actually consider it. i love him too much. i would hate myself.
my longterm boyfriend (18 months) used to go out with my best friend. she cheated on him like 5 times in the 4 months that they were going out. she told me about it which was very hard because i was his best friend also. she split up with him and then they randomly did stuff at a party whilst she was with another guy - but she hadnt told him that.
in the end i told him everything and i saw for myself the effects that cheating has on somebody.
since we've been together i have not been tempted to cheat on him. i love him so much and i trust him indefinitely. i know that he wouldnt do it to me and so i wouldnt do it to him. never.
however... i have been in situations where some guy has been coming on to me and ive been drunk etc and there has been like a moment where ive realised exactly where this could go. but every time i have chosen to not cheat because it would tear me up inside and i just love him so much that i couldnt bear to hurt him. it hasnt even been a hard decision for me to make - all i have to do is just move a bit further away from the guy and start talking to somebody else. its not a hard thing to do.
but to the guy who said about a rush - that is true. sometimes i get a rush when i realise where it could go. but just because the rush is tehre and i know what could happen would be exciting doesnt mean that i EVER actually consider it. i love him too much. i would hate myself.
Reply 39
RoCkPoRt
she kissed you, while engaged to someone else, and thats just being friendly? your a ****ing dumb ass mate. yes it is cheating, don't try to justify that ********.
--------------
it doesn't matter if you love your partner or not, its about loyalty, dedication, self-control and trust. if you cheat while in any kind of relationship, you obviously lack the above four values.
--------------
it doesn't matter if you love your partner or not, its about loyalty, dedication, self-control and trust. if you cheat while in any kind of relationship, you obviously lack the above four values.
Completely agree with you mate. There is no excuse for cheating.
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