Knowing If You're Gay

Reply 20

hi, i am also gay, so i kno how ur feelin. i enjoy it up d batty, it is much betta than d conventional way, live ur life a little, dont b borin, if u want a knob up ur ass, go 4 it, i wud and so wud my friends. we r all gay and belive this 2 b d way 4ward. pete is my name, homesexuality is my game. im an lse student, visit me netime in islington and i will show u good gay sexual positions.

i hope i hav helped u in ur quest to discover ur sexuality, rememba gay is d way!

thank you and god bless

pete xxx

Reply 21

sparkly_tiara

2

Hey Mat,

My best friend came out to me as being gay (a year today actually!) and has had this problem before so i can appreciate how hard and confusing this is for you. He told his parents he was gay but then had doubts afterwards, just like you! The thing which i feel is really important is to not force a sexuality upon yourself. Being confused is okay, give yourself some time to work things out and be happy with your decision. You can change it! No matter wether you think you are attracted to girls/ guys or both, it doesn't matter!
From your post, i see your parents kicked up a fuss about being gay? My guess is that they have learnt to accept it a bit more now (or at least i hope so!) and i recon they accepted you because you are their son and they love you no matter what sexuality you are! Therefore, if you decide that, afterall, you are 100% straight then they will learn to accept this too (and im guessing that they will be happier too, if they don't really like you being gay!)

Finally, just remember that none of this is your fault. You can't help having confusions about this and it is something very hard to deal with. Just don't be too hard on yourself and make sure you have the support of friends and family around you who arent judgemental or who will force you to make a decision.

I sincerely wish you all the best of luck, i really feel for you!

Lou
xxx

Reply 22

slk999

15

Yeah, i think what everyone has said is absolutely true- apart from some obviously homophobic people, but anyway- i kinda had the same problem as you, however i came out of being straight which was the right choice for me- for a while i actually convinced myself i was bi, but i felt that wasn't right as i still had major crushes on girls and relatively minor ones on men, and actually those weren't really in the same league as the female ones- in my case, when i started school being the comic guy i am, i did impressions of really feminine girls who were laughable and because i had always been treated as special and practically moddle cuddled which was bad, i was really surprised when people labled me gay and this happened for topping 4 years and i very nearly didn't put up with it and considered suicide- the lowest point in my life, but then i realised that i was in love with a girl and couldn't get it out of my mind, so then i realised i was straight. however i've had my ups and downs and have been so embarrased when i looked at gay porn which was a shock to me, but it was just bouts of insecurity but now i'm decided that i'm straight, and have a girlfriend that i've loved more than i thought i liked any male, and whatever you choose, you'll choose it when you're ready and no sooner and just enjoy what you choose- there's too much stigma attached to being gay and it's wrong. so don't worry. :biggrin:

Reply 23

MNBStyle

9

sparkly_tiara

Hey Mat,
My best friend came out to me as being gay (a year today actually!)

How come you remembered the exact day lol??

Reply 24

LubyLoo

2

I was with my ex boyfriend for 9 months, and 6 months after we broke up he came out as being gay. He didn't know he was gay when he was with me, and your sexuality isn't something you can easily categorize. Don't worry about what people think. You are you.

Reply 25

Duck and Cover

15

rich_

Yeah, i think what everyone has said is absolutely true- apart from some obviously homophobic people, but anyway- i kinda had the same problem as you, however i came out of being straight which was the right choice for me- for a while i actually convinced myself i was bi, but i felt that wasn't right as i still had major crushes on girls and relatively minor ones on men, and actually those weren't really in the same league as the female ones- in my case, when i started school being the comic guy i am, i did impressions of really feminine girls who were laughable and because i had always been treated as special and practically moddle cuddled which was bad, i was really surprised when people labled me gay and this happened for topping 4 years and i very nearly didn't put up with it and considered suicide- the lowest point in my life, but then i realised that i was in love with a girl and couldn't get it out of my mind, so then i realised i was straight. however i've had my ups and downs and have been so embarrased when i looked at gay porn which was a shock to me, but it was just bouts of insecurity but now i'm decided that i'm straight, and have a girlfriend that i've loved more than i thought i liked any male, and whatever you choose, you'll choose it when you're ready and no sooner and just enjoy what you choose- there's too much stigma attached to being gay and it's wrong. so don't worry. :biggrin:

This is like...the story of my life :eek:

! I feel so un-weird now, cos all this basically describes what I've been through and am going through. Thank u for existing :biggrin:

Reply 26

slk999

15

Duck and Cover

This is like...the story of my life :eek:

! I feel so un-weird now, cos all this basically describes what I've been through and am going through. Thank u for existing :biggrin:

Well, I'm really pleased i could be of some use in this world!! :biggrin:

personally, it would depend of what you're feeling now, but just decide one way or the other and just feel good about whatever way- no one is entirely heterosexual or homosexual, teenage years include insecurities such as these and just because you've had some homosexual thought along the way, it doesn't mean that you are, personally, i've grown to despise the word 'gay' as being falsely labelled it for a few years and battling against it makes you hate it, so i've now come to the conclusion that no-one is entirely one way or the other, and for me, even though at some point along the way i felt i probably should be bi or something, i felt this wasn't practial as i couldn't have girlfriends which i was finding dificult as i was in love with a girl at the time, and also having a family is slightly difficult and that's something i've wanted to do for a long time and wouldn't sacrifice that, so gradually i became more hetero and nowadays i very rarely think a guy is attractive and i'm happy that way. :smile:

i know that must sound kinda strange cos most guys never turn the tables when they've had something i've had, but i managed it and couldn't me more happier with my choice to be straight (and also, i actually do feel straight, i don't just say it to hide something- which i know is a bone of contention for some people).
--------------

Duck and Cover

This is like...the story of my life :eek:

! I feel so un-weird now, cos all this basically describes what I've been through and am going through. Thank u for existing :biggrin:

don't worry about it. i know i did for ages and hated it- there is no point in worrying. just find out what you feel comfortable with. personally i couldn't see being bi as an option as it means no family and that;s something i've wanted for ages and will continue wanting and i felt that if i was bi i was actually really gay and then i felt bad cos i wanted relationships with females too and they were always a big part of me and just to let them go would be self destructing- also i'm now pleased with my option cos i've kinda stopped thinking about homo thoughts and i actually genuinely feel hetero which is something i've not been able to feel for a long time. people used to look at me in a weird way and i'd feel dirty or something and want to jump out of a body i hated ( i don't know why) but i did, cos i believed that if i was actually gay then i'd come out to myself but because is still felt attracted to women that was a problem and it never occured to me that it was people labelling me gay for 3 or 4 years of my life that made me believe that i was- and that is one of the most destructing things people can do and it nearly finished me. but choose for yourself and be happy with your decision, no one is straight hetero and no one is straight bi or gay, we all have our middle ground sometimes and granted many of us may have a gay experience once in a while- but think to yourself what you want to get out of your life and go for that- if you genuinely feel attracted to women then you probably had what happened to me, just make yourself realise that actually having a relationship with a woman is actually more attractive than being with another man ( i mean, c'mon, men don't have oh so nice breasts and personally i just feel so much more intimate with a woman sexually than i could ever do with a man) hope that helps...?!! :biggrin:

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errr... i may have posted 2 messages there, oops...

Reply 27

la fille danse

17

The-Lennon

the fact that youve had relationships with men...... means you are not straight. enough said

Using that exact same logic, the fact that he's had relationships with women must mean he's not gay.

Reply 28

slk999

15

morningtheft

Using that exact same logic, the fact that he's had relationships with women must mean he's not gay.

Who were you talking about??

Reply 29

dave

Lidia

Like a lot of people here have said, there is no black and white when it comes to sexuality. I know a 'lesbian' who's just come out of a 4 year relationship with a man, and she's over 40! Age doesn't necessarily mean you'll be able to say for definite that 'I'm gay/bi/hetero', and some people never confirm their sexuality - they just go with the flow. :smile:

Don't put pressure on yourself to 'decide' what you are, and don't feel bad about explaining to your sexuality to your parents, either. Enjoy your freedom to choose! :wink:

I couldn't agree more with this post. Well said.
You owe an explanation to no-one, not even yourself. Why should you have to be categorised when there's no need?
If you like a guy this week, and a girl next week, so what? You are what you are, and at the end of the day, it's nobody's business but yours.
The most important thing about you is being able to look yourself in the face and say "I am a decent person".
Be happy. :smile:

Reply 30

Duck and Cover

15

TO RICH Its stuff like that that gets u boosted rep hehe!! Now that Ive started sixth form, even though its at the same place with many of the same guys, its now mixed, and my feelings towards different sexes have definately changed. One thing i noticed you saying was about family, and that was one of the things that made me think again if u no wot i mean. I see myself with a great wife and kids and thats what I want. Im not repressing any feelings or anything, I just know know that I have stronger feelings 4 girls that 4 guys. O and plus me and my best mate did something once...cant say I was particularly keen...

Reply 31

Velocity

I gave u a rep for that as well Rich. Posts like that are great because they come from personal experience :smile:

Reply 32

slk999

15

Velocity

I gave u a rep for that as well Rich. Posts like that are great because they come from personal experience :smile:

yeah, i just thought it was necessary to make a distinction- i dunno of what though, lol. glad to be of service. :smile:

Reply 33

hippychick4eva

LubyLoo

I was with my ex boyfriend for 9 months, and 6 months after we broke up he came out as being gay. He didn't know he was gay when he was with me, and your sexuality isn't something you can easily categorize. Don't worry about what people think. You are you.

same thing happened to me.. except i was with a guy for 2 years.. and about 6 months after he came out as being gay, well bi anyway.. but at the moment hes more gay than straight.. my brothers gay too.. and does find it difficult at times.. especially as hes younger than me (only 15)

sexuality is such a confusing thing.. i often have crushes on girls.. but thats all they are realy, I wouldn't love a girl or go out with a girl.. well i dont think i would.. :s-smilie:

Reply 34

slk999

15

Duck and Cover

TO RICH Its stuff like that that gets u boosted rep hehe!! Now that Ive started sixth form, even though its at the same place with many of the same guys, its now mixed, and my feelings towards different sexes have definately changed. One thing i noticed you saying was about family, and that was one of the things that made me think again if u no wot i mean. I see myself with a great wife and kids and thats what I want. Im not repressing any feelings or anything, I just know know that I have stronger feelings 4 girls that 4 guys. O and plus me and my best mate did something once...cant say I was particularly keen...

I guess being in a same sex school must have been tough and that's probably one of the reasons you may hev felt confused about your sexuality, and that's exactly what i felt about wanting wife and kids and having stronger feelings for girls, and you needn't worry about what you and your mate did once- it's all experiments and once you've done it you can decide that you don't want to do it again, so that's fine.

Reply 35

sparkly_tiara

2

MNBStyle

How come you remembered the exact day lol??

Lol, well i was thinking as i was writing the post i must have known for about a year and out of curiosity looked in my journal and found the entry! It was a huge thing, we had been so close for so long and meh, i dunno! Was just a big thing!

Lou
xxx

Reply 36

LubyLoo

2

sparkly_tiara

Lol, well i was thinking as i was writing the post i must have known for about a year and out of curiosity looked in my journal and found the entry! It was a huge thing, he was my ex boyfriend and we had just broken up and i was still in love with him! Huge awkwardness but nevermind!

Lou
xxx

Been there, except I wasn't still in love with him. But it still hurt, and to some extent still does.

Reply 37

Hanzing

13

I think there has been some great comments made here. Its only natural that starting univesity may act as a trigger for something like this, You are comfortable to an extent in your home life but once uprooted and having toworry about a whole new set of people I found myself questioning who I was.
I know its frustrating to you to not know where you are, But seriously dont feel the pressure to have to label yourself, Be who you want to be and be proud of that.
I think that whatever your parents have said or what fuss has gone on they will truly accept you for who you are be it gay, straight, Bisexual or just as you with no labels at all.

Reply 38

Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX

14

In my opinion I think you're bisexual hunny :hugs:

but don't class yourself until you're rightfully ready and know, and it doesn't matter what sexuality you are, you are you and thats all needed :smile:

xoxo

Reply 39

slk999

15

tammy_girl

In my opinion I think you're bisexual hunny :hugs:

but don't class yourself until you're rightfully ready and know, and it doesn't matter what sexuality you are, you are you and thats all needed :smile:

xoxo

who were u referring to btw??

Knowing If You're Gay

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