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I hate my dad and brother. watch

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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm sorry if this is flooded with typos and stuff, but it's fairly late and I just feel like I needed to vent.

    Over the last year or so, my brother has been a complete prick. He's never talked to me except to tell me to "**** OFF!", and I've kept a wide berth. He dropped out of school because he spent all his time sleeping through class and staying up all night playing videogames. He then claimed he had depression (took medication, had councilling - my stepdad and I still believe the entire thing was fabricated in the pursuit of laziness), and has been unemployed since May. Since then he has fraudulantly claimed unemployment benefit (it's called Job Seekers Allowance, and he never sought a job), has stayed up all night playing videogames, kept us up at night by being loud, and has been incredibly unhygenic (he went through a period of taking bites out of the block of cheese in the fridge) and generally extremely unpleasant. He even threatened to kill me at one point.

    This has brought about a very nasty atmosphere in my house, and you can understand why everything he's done would have pissed me off. However, it just got worse. In a fit of rage (caused by my Stepdad telling him to be quiet at midnight and the row escalating) he unplugged every single phone line in the house and locked the router up. My Mum put her foot down, and my brother wrote her a letter.

    To preceed the contents of the letter, it has to be said that my parents have been divorced for about ten years and we've rarely seen our father since then. My brother told my Mum he had ruined his childhood, ruined everything in his life up to that point, and even accused her of stealing my Dad's money.

    My Mum was horribly upset by this, and so we (my Mum, my "stepdad", and I) had a chat about what we were going to do.

    To this chat, my Mum brought evidence of my Dad fraudulantly forging her name on loan documents, evidence of him going abroad to have sex with women while they were married, and evidence of his gambling away all his savings.

    Also, she told me that when she threatened to divorce him ("I'm going to take these kids away and move away"), my Dad said nothing. He didn't say, "Please don't take my kids away," or anything to that effect. He just didn't care.

    Obviously this has upset me. I haven't spoken to my Dad for several years, and I don't plan to ever again. Due to both their behaviours, I now hate both my Dad and my Brother.

    I don't really know what to do now.
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    I hate you too bro
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    tl;dr

    aww diddums.
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    :console: I don't know what to suggest... What have your mum and step-dad said about what they're going to do?
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    Ok.
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    cool story bro
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by alissasantiago)
    :console: I don't know what to suggest... What have your mum and step-dad said about what they're going to do?
    My Mum started by telling him the same things she told me. She figured that breaking down barriers was the first step to changing his behaviour and the atmosphere of the house, and I agreed with her because everything he does derives from the attitude that he thinks that my Mum's a witch. My stepdad wanted to offer him an ultimatum instead (either get a job, armed forces, or he goes to live with our Dad). He wasn't happy but were going to see how the aituation progresses. I'm just a bit shocked at finally finding out what drove the divorce. My Mum never told us because she didn't want us to think badly of our Dad.
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    Your brother, while he does seem like a bit of an arse, doesn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary.Seems like he probably is at least a bit depressed.Won't he eventually be forced in to some kind of training scheme, or to have to take a job offer or lose his benefits?
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    (Original post by Bazlehman)
    Your brother, while he does seem like a bit of an arse, doesn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary.Seems like he probably is at least a bit depressed.Won't he eventually be forced in to some kind of training scheme, or to have to take a job offer or lose his benefits?
    Eventually, yes. You know when they start forcing people to take voluntary placements? At 40 weeks. He'll have stolen money for 40 weeks while I'll have worked my ass off. That is incredibly unfair to me, and to everyone else. He's threatened to kill me, though. He has no respect for anything or anyone around him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm sorry if this is flooded with typos and stuff, but it's fairly late and I just feel like I needed to vent.

    Over the last year or so, my brother has been a complete prick. He's never talked to me except to tell me to "**** OFF!", and I've kept a wide berth. He dropped out of school because he spent all his time sleeping through class and staying up all night playing videogames. He then claimed he had depression (took medication, had councilling - my stepdad and I still believe the entire thing was fabricated in the pursuit of laziness), and has been unemployed since May. Since then he has fraudulantly claimed unemployment benefit (it's called Job Seekers Allowance, and he never sought a job), has stayed up all night playing videogames, kept us up at night by being loud, and has been incredibly unhygenic (he went through a period of taking bites out of the block of cheese in the fridge) and generally extremely unpleasant. He even threatened to kill me at one point.

    This has brought about a very nasty atmosphere in my house, and you can understand why everything he's done would have pissed me off. However, it just got worse. In a fit of rage (caused by my Stepdad telling him to be quiet at midnight and the row escalating) he unplugged every single phone line in the house and locked the router up. My Mum put her foot down, and my brother wrote her a letter.

    To preceed the contents of the letter, it has to be said that my parents have been divorced for about ten years and we've rarely seen our father since then. My brother told my Mum he had ruined his childhood, ruined everything in his life up to that point, and even accused her of stealing my Dad's money.

    My Mum was horribly upset by this, and so we (my Mum, my "stepdad", and I) had a chat about what we were going to do.

    To this chat, my Mum brought evidence of my Dad fraudulantly forging her name on loan documents, evidence of him going abroad to have sex with women while they were married, and evidence of his gambling away all his savings.

    Also, she told me that when she threatened to divorce him ("I'm going to take these kids away and move away"), my Dad said nothing. He didn't say, "Please don't take my kids away," or anything to that effect. He just didn't care.

    Obviously this has upset me. I haven't spoken to my Dad for several years, and I don't plan to ever again. Due to both their behaviours, I now hate both my Dad and my Brother.

    I don't really know what to do now.
    Sorry to hear about the problems between you mum and dad. You must know that there are two sides to every story. Divorces are not fun events that both parties come out of with an ‘Oh they were so sweet, we just got bored with one another’ story.

    You can’t divorce you father or brother. They will still be your father and brother in 2070. That’s a long time to hate.

    Just recognize them for who they are and what they have done as you will inevitably be in contact with them over the years. I would never ask you to forget, just realize that carrying hate with you all the time has an impact on your personality and how others perceive you.

    Understand that in 10 or 20 years they will have changed and so will have you; so don’t make the chasm between you so large that the bridge cannot be built to allow you to reconnect.

    They will be your children’s grandfather and uncle. Don’t allow your hate to deny any relationship between your children and their grandfather and uncle and their future children.

    Only you are responsible for how you feel. They can give you reason to hate, but only you can control that emotion.

    Best wishes
    • #2
    #2

    totally understand how you feel. earlier this year I had a **** night time job (but still a job). I was just out of uni and totally broke, so I was living with my mom and sharing a room with my brother. the only thing I asked for was a couple of hours of quiet time in the morning when I would get back from work so I could fall asleep; however, my evil brother (he's two years younger than me but also really lazy and just wastes life in front of the computer) would attempt to make the most amount of noise possible. one day he totally lost it; I asked him to please turn his computer off and he beat me up! like seriously, I knew he was on the evil side, but didn't expect that (not like he broke any of my bones or that there was blood, but a really strong punch in the eye and a few in the back). I was so shocked and self-conscious about there being a bruise on my face that when I got to work I said a hobo hit me while trying to steal my purse. well, I have since moved quite far away and now only speak to him via msn once a month. can't say I hate him, but I can definitely live without him (and the ever protective mother who's always on his side).

    I suppose I'd say the same to you. sometimes it's just best to leave/move away (or if your family could get him to move out, would be for the best - why should you all suffer because of his bleeping "problems"?!?! that's not fair to anybody). I know your parents (mom/stepdad) want the best for both of you, but some people get just too accustomed to being taken care of (like your brother -> free room/board, free money) so the only push that could really help him get his act straight is a reality check.
 
 
 
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