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Serious Relationship Advice Needed Watch

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    #1

    I need some advice here guys, if you would be so kind.

    I've been going out with my girlfriend for 3 years now (both in our early 20's).

    The relationship is good, we love each other (although it should be said that I am her entire world and I know that I could be without her), we get along really well, the sex is alright, and i could conceivably see myself settling in with her for the long haul.

    but over the last month or so the relationship has started to wane and its almost as if i find myself disinterested in her.

    now from bad to worse....

    for the last year I've been volunteering and through there have been introduced to another girl, amazingly beautiful, hugely intelligent, very ambitious, and quite literally the nicest, loveliest, sweetest girl I have ever met. As you can tell I'm interested .... and I know she is too

    now from worse to horrendous ....

    because we are all from the same community we all know each other, my girlfriend is a friend to most of my cousins (for me they are like my siblings), and to add to my woes my girlfriend and this new girl are acquainted also .....

    I'm now wondering what to do, should i press on and possibly move into a loveless engagement and further?....should I peruse the new girl... hope she doesn't mind pissing off my girlfriend and generally causing a stir? .... Or should I just have faith in my relationship and see what happens?


    Help!!
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    If you're not longer interested in your gf best to make her aware of this, work on it or end it.

    That would be the decent thing to do, before pursuing anything with new girl.
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    Oooh boy! This is one hell of a story.

    You mentioned that your relationship started to "wane". Maybe you're just disinterested in her because the both of you aren't trying new stuff in you're relationship.

    Do not end the relationship simply because you fell for another girl << That's EVIL!
    You have been together for 3 years and that's not something you should give up for a new girl (who might turn out to be worse than you think!)

    Give your relationhip a bit more time and I hope that soon enough the both of you will come up with a good decision whether to continue or end!
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    I think this relationship has reached the last stop. You are not interested in her, you're thinking about someone else... and she surely doesnt deserve that.

    Just break up. I know most people on TSR just say that but I genuinely mean it.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by katyness)
    I think this relationship has reached the last stop. You are not interested in her, you're thinking about someone else... and she surely doesnt deserve that.

    Just break up. I know most people on TSR just say that but I genuinely mean it.
    Yes that's what I thought... the problem here being that I am her world about a year ago we decided to take a weeks break, she asked for it I agreed, she spent the entire week chronically depressed in her room crying.....Oh god I'm making her sound psycho...

    She is lovely but I know that if I do break up with her she will hurt.... for a long time and that not something I want to do to her..... but then should I stay in a relationship that I'm not entirely certain about just because she would take it badly???
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    should I stay in a relationship that I'm not entirely certain about just because she would take it badly???
    Read that question out loud as if someone was asking you that. You know the answer to it.

    I surely understand your part. Breaking up with someone when they have done nothing wrong is just so hard but you need to understand that is better now then later. If you decide to stay, you'll never be completely happy with her because you know that your heart is not 100% there. If you leave, no doubt it's going to tear her apart but it's not fair for her if you decide to stay.

    I just wish you good luck :hugs:
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    You shouldn't lead your girlfreind on if you are already having doubts in your relationship, it isn't fair on her. If you believe you would both be happier with other people then maybe its for the best that you break up. There's no point being with your girlfreind just for the sake of it and i know it might be hard to tell her how you feel but it seems like you are just 'settling' for her and that isn't fair on either of you. You need to tell her the truth about how you feel your relationship isn't what it used to be and maybe you will be able to fix it if you are on the same page but you need to make up your mind otherwise you will be causing your girlfreind even more pain than neccesary.
    Good luck
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    As much as I see that it feels like you're missing out - any long term relationship will reach a point where you don't feel super-excited about each other. In most cases, the first point where the infatuation wears off for one or both parts is after 3-4 years (even scientists have claimed that the chemical reactions in our bodies that causes infatuation last 3-4 years). That's where you enter a stage where you see if you are more than lovers - best friends, companions, if you are willing to make an effort for each other. Ask couples who have been married 50 years if they've at some point become interested in others, if they've had fights where they've hated each other, if they've questioned their marriage. Of course they have. Some people are serial monogamists because they need to have strong feelings all the time.
    Now you're questioning this relationship as a result of both this new girl and not feeling so keen on your girlfriend. But you haven't got involved with this new girl, you have no idea whether it would work out (although it all seems so perfect in the beginning). I think put your mind off this new girl and ask yourself if you'd rather want to be single than be with your girlfriend. We don't know how you really feel about her - if it's complete carelessness or just a bit of boredom, only you know.
 
 
 
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