Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

My cat is trying to kill me, I need help

Well, it started last night in my house when the lights were off and everyone was sleeping and I thought I saw my cat. I turned the lights on and it turned out it was just a black purse, so I turned the lights off. This happen many times that night and it creeped me out. So I just decided to go to sleep. I laid down on my bed and I looked to the left. On my pillow... was.... my cat! She looks me in the eye and says... "Meow." Then she leaves. So I go to sleep and I have a horrible nightmare about my cat mauling me to death. I wake up, my face covered in sweat, and I'm having an asthma attack. Then I realized I don't have asthma, I'm just having trouble breathing. Well anyway, I go downstairs to have some cereal and when I take my first spoonful it taste horrible. Then I see that the bottle of Windex, that was full the night before, is now half empty. Normally I'd say half full because of the whole optimistic/pessimistic thing but I thought that my cereal was poisoned with Windex so I'll just say half empty. Well, I vomit it out and I look at my cat, and wouldn't you know, her paws are a little wet. I smell them, bad mistake, I now have a large scar across my nose, but I smelled it. On her paw, was WINDEX! So I tell her, (her name's Fluffy) "Fluffy, this ends n-" I was going to finish that sentence, but I was cut short when she clawed my legs. That's when I ran out of my house, but grabbed some peanut butter, a bottle of water, and a 20 dollar bill before leaving. Let me just say now that no matter how hard you try, you can never outrun a cat. Or a police car, because you see, I was running through the street with my boxers on. The police came out of the police car and, I came up with a very risky plan. I picked up Fluffy, and threw him onto the cops face. Then I kept on running, because that whole cat on face thing gave me about a 20 second head start. Then I asked "Hey how'd I pick up Fluffy if I was holding the peanut butter and- damnit!" I dropped the peanut butter, water, and 20 dollar bill! Well as of now I am hiding in Walmart and have stolen a laptop so I could post this What do I do now? Fluffy is looking for me!

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

swordedstone

yes i study neurology for people like you.

Reply 2

EmperorMustard

Throw a rock at it.

Or, failing that, throw it at a rock.

Set a dog on Fluffy.

KILL THE CAT!!!!

LOL just kidding, get a psychiatrist.

Reply 5

Left Hand Drive

My cat follows me down the street but when I turn around to look at him he looks away as if he's not following me lol!

Reply 6

Ideot

Only on TSR? :lolwut:

Reply 7

The Cornerstone

In this case man's best friend can help you :wink:

Reply 8

Mechie

I thought this thread was going to be another by "North Korea WW3" :erm:

Reply 9

I_Lost_The_Game

copypasta

http://www.google.co.uk/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=lf+full+because+of+the+whole+optimistic/pessimistic+thing+but+I+thought+that+my+cereal+was+poisoned+with+Windex+so+I'll+just+say+half+empty.+Well,+I+vomit+it+out+and+I+look+at+my+cat,+and+wouldn't+you+know,+her+paws+are+a+little+wet.+I+smell+them,+bad+mistake,+I+now+have+a+large+scar+across+my+nose,+but+I+smelled+it.+On+her+paw,+was+WINDEX!+So+I+t#q=%22wouldn't+you+know%2C+her+paws+are+a+little+wet.+I+smell+them%2C+bad+mistake%2C+I+now+have+a+large+scar+across+my+nose%2C+but+I+smelled+it.+On+her+paw%2C+was+WINDEX!+So+I+t%22&hl=en&prmd=iv&filter=0&fp=ec580a23bbcb13e1

Reply 10

you killed kenny

would've been better if you changed the american bits. 6/10

Reply 11

Mm_Minty

I have seen this exact same post before.
0/10 for orginality. I was hoping this was going to be an Edgar Allen Poe tribute troll, and you give me this?!?!
For shame.

Reply 12

bluemax

lol... this turned out to be worse than i expected, id say OP is a :troll:

how about you tie fluffy's tail to a chair or something?

Reply 13

beci.please

Original post by Left Hand Drive

My cat follows me down the street but when I turn around to look at him he looks away as if he's not following me lol!

Regardless of how terrible this thread is, i enjoy the thought of this very much.

**** that pussy.

Original post by Mm_Minty

I have seen this exact same post before.
0/10 for orginality. I was hoping this was going to be an Edgar Allen Poe tribute troll, and you give me this?!?!
For shame.

THAT would have been awesome!