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Teacher thinks i'm scared of him? Watch

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    I think you need to come to terms with it yourself before trying to console anyone else. Have you had any kind of therapy?
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    just say u have low self/confidence when around adults... or say ur a shy girl or something

    the guy seems like a nice fellar, u gotta over come your fears one day
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    kick him in the balls
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    (Original post by charcharchar)
    kick him in the balls
    ? not as helpful as you might think haha...did you read the question?
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    No offence but it sounds like your not coping that well
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    try to overcome your fear and speak to him after class one day, you dont need to go into specifics just say something along the lines of; sir i enjoy your lessons and i think your a great student, i dont want you to take my behaviour the wrong way or be offended im just a natrually shy person ...
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    (Original post by lawology)
    I have this teacher who is not only great at teaching but who's an incredibly nice man. I'm quite reserved though and don't like to go to near any male adults because of some abuse when i was younger..Because of this i barely go near him - i'll always go the long way round just to avoid his desk. It isn't just him it's every adult man, i'm constantly on edge around them.

    Normally this isn't a problem because i don't think they notice, unfortunately this teacher has and mentioned it at parents evening. He seemed quite hurt and offended that it seems like i'm always avoiding him and since he's so nice and supportive i don't want him to feel that i'm scared of him in particular rather than just the male species in general!

    My question is this; how can i explain that he isn't doing anything intimidating or frightening (he's the least intimidating and frightening person i can think of) and that it's just me, WITHOUT mentioning the abuse which, even now, i find very difficult to talk about and do NOT want anybody, even a teacher as nice as this man, to know about?

    i don't need any advice on 'dealing' with the abuse, it's in the past and i'm coping.
    I don't think you should talk to him about it, he's only a teacher and I'm sure he'll get over it.
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    tell him you have some issues that make it hard for you to be comfortable around men and its not him personally, and then if he asks about it say your not willing to talk about it and just wanted him to know he doesn't do anything intimidating and you don't want him to feel like he does?
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    Spill! What's the abuse? Some guys on TSR call you flat?
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    (Original post by kat2pult)
    I think you need to come to terms with it yourself before trying to console anyone else. Have you had any kind of therapy?
    It's not really a matter of consolation, i just don't think he deserves to think i'm repulsed by him haha. I don't need therapy, it's just like a nervous habit i guess, it's barely even noticable - i was suprised when he mentioned it! I don't want therapy at the moment since i'm still living with my mum, who doesn't know. Maybe at some point in the future...
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    (Original post by TheRealDarthVader)
    Spill! What's the abuse? Some guys on TSR call you flat?
    Gah, that wasn't the main (or even sub) question of the thread...also what do you mean call me 'flat'? does that have some double meaning? or as in flat chested? since i have no pics up...:confused:
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    (Original post by lawology)
    It's not really a matter of consolation, i just don't think he deserves to think i'm repulsed by him haha. I don't need therapy, it's just like a nervous habit i guess, it's barely even noticable - i was suprised when he mentioned it! I don't want therapy at the moment since i'm still living with my mum, who doesn't know. Maybe at some point in the future...
    Your mum doesn't have to know. You can get free counselling from your doctor if need be, or they will refer you to someone else who can help.
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    (Original post by kat2pult)
    Your mum doesn't have to know. You can get free counselling from your doctor if need be, or they will refer you to someone else who can help.
    i'll look into it, but i really am dealing with it...because of it's content this thread is deceptive because it only shows one aspect of my personality. a lot of people get anxious, it's really no big deal.
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    start with making eye contact from a distance, and maybe a smile. That'll show him you're not scared. As time progresses, you might feel at ease to be around him.
    Don't feel like you NEED to have him know this; it is okay for you to behave the way you do. He probably is concerned about you, but that does not mean you should put yourself under pressure/strain to go that distance in your relationship with others. Take your time, and you'll be fine.
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    (Original post by futuredoc77)
    start with making eye contact from a distance, and maybe a smile. That'll show him you're not scared. As time progresses, you might feel at ease to be around him.
    Don't feel like you NEED to have him know this; it is okay for you to behave the way you do. He probably is concerned about you, but that does not mean you should put yourself under pressure/strain to go that distance in your relationship with others. Take your time, and you'll be fine.
    good idea, very helpful and objective answer, thank you.
    i've known him for over a year and i don't feel afraid of him at all, i trust him more than any of my other teachers (including female ones)..it's just kind of instinct to recoil from him. i'll try the smile and eye contact from a distance for a while, then hopefully when i need to go for 1-1 chats in his office (about ucas and uni interviews etc) i won't act so strangely.
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    (Original post by lawology)
    good idea, very helpful and objective answer, thank you.
    i've known him for over a year and i don't feel afraid of him at all, i trust him more than any of my other teachers (including female ones)..it's just kind of instinct to recoil from him. i'll try the smile and eye contact from a distance for a while, then hopefully when i need to go for 1-1 chats in his office (about ucas and uni interviews etc) i won't act so strangely.
    You're welcome.
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    (Original post by lawology)
    Gah, that wasn't the main (or even sub) question of the thread...also what do you mean call me 'flat'? does that have some double meaning? or as in flat chested? since i have no pics up...:confused:

    Flat as in no tits.

    The abuse is important. If you were called names by someone then you are being pathetic, but if you were raped by the long goat **** of Satan and his minions when you were only eight TSR may be more sympathetic to your cause.
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    (Original post by TheRealDarthVader)
    Flat as in no tits.

    The abuse is important. If you were called names by someone then you are being pathetic, but if you were raped by the long goat **** of Satan and his minions when you were only eight TSR may be more sympathetic to your cause.
    she wasn't asking for sympathy she was asking how she can let him know he isnt a problem without talking abot the actual abuse. so what happened to her is irrelevent to her question
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    (Original post by boba)
    she wasn't asking for sympathy she was asking how she can let him know he isnt a problem without talking abot the actual abuse. so what happened to her is irrelevent to her question

    It is relevent because we need to know if she is being irrational or not. The very fact that she is able to realise her behaviour and understand that this guy is not a thread suggests that perhaps she can do more to interact with this guy.
 
 
 
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