We were both in long term relationships which had ended prior to having met each other, I'd been with my ex for about 2 and a half years and he'd been with his ex for about 3. I got over my ex pretty quickly, his was more serious as they nearly got married. The wedding never took place because of some family issues and something along the line of how she broke his heart and put him through hell during that time, etc.
When i met him we were friends at first, he told me about her - in fact every other conversation we had his ex was incorporated into it. Anyway, we fell for each other however i made it clear i didn't want to be in a relationship as it was obvious he wasn't over her. He convinced me he was and that i should just be a little understanding. The first month and a bit was great, we were totally into each other and he didnt even mention his ex unless it was really relevent to something we were talking about.
He acted really off with me the other day saying he's sorry for everything, when i finally forced him to tell me whats really bothering him he said that he doesn't think he's over his ex. I was devastated. I wasn't upset that he was, just really peed off that i said it to him specifically i didnt want to start a relationship with someone who was hung up about their past as i could have just walked away and now that im head over heels for him it's a lot more complicated than that. He said he genuinely thought he was but now he wasn't sure.
He told me i deserved to know the truth, that he loves me and i'm the person he really wants to be with. I really want to be with him too. I want him to get over his ex and know that i'll be there when he's ready but im scared that if i leave the picture for a while it'll push him away from me. He's amazing and his heart is in the right place, its not even a case of him going back to his ex, its just reaching the goal of feeling indifferent towards her rather than been affected by memories of her.
He's not over his ex. Watch
- Thread Starter
- 28-11-2010 16:22
- 28-11-2010 16:27
I say walk away now. I know it hurts but if he's not over her, it's not getting better, is it?
I hope it works out for you
- 28-11-2010 16:42
ex : ex are sometimes big problems, it happens and it will happen, well maybe a mental doctor has some answers. Flashbacks? Memories? Takes time, and gets over with the increase of maturity level of a person. Anyways if you really love each other and trully want to be with each other then I suppose a wedding plan could be a good solution. But then again thinking about when is the right time is a waste. Give it or walk away, standing on the shores won't give you anything, walk away to the land or jump off to the ocean.
- 28-11-2010 17:08
well, you'de rather be alone than be with someone knowing they might have someone else on their mind.
- 28-11-2010 18:13
- 28-11-2010 21:04
I'd be heartbroken too, especially as you made it clear before you started. But I would walk away, if one day he is over her and you're both still willing to give it a go... then try again then.