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    Hi,

    I have been on a couple of dates with this girl, but she seems to be giving me mixed reactions.

    We have hugged and held hands (during ice skating), but thats about it.

    Sometimes i get the feeling that she just wants to be friends, which i can't be bothered with.

    Should i send her some sort of text to see if she is interested in a relationship??

    I'm reasonably new to the dating scene so any advise is appreciated!
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    Maybe try a more intimate sort of date where you can get a better feel for what she's after?
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    You want a relationship with her but you can't be bothered to be friends?
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    well for starters, i wouldnt recomend to ask her about realtionships over text? thats very child-like, and girls appreciate guys who actually have the guts to be themselves around them and ask them. but even if she wasn't interested in a relationship, you "cant be bothered to be friends"?.. if you think that, then you obviously aren't that keen.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi,

    I have been on a couple of dates with this girl, but she seems to be giving me mixed reactions.

    We have hugged and held hands (during ice skating), but thats about it.

    Sometimes i get the feeling that she just wants to be friends, which i can't be bothered with.

    Should i send her some sort of text to see if she is interested in a relationship??

    I'm reasonably new to the dating scene so any advise is appreciated!
    You've been on a couple of dates and only 'hugged and held hands'? Dude, you're her gay best friend. You didn't establish right from the start that you wanted to be lovers and not just friends. You're going to be friend zoned very soon...

    Seriously, if you haven't kissed a girl on the first date, you're a pussy and can't complain when the girl says she just wants to be friends.

    And ice staking for a first date? Better to meet for coffee so you can chat and get to know each other and see if you're compatible.

    If I hadn't kissed a girl by the end of the first date, she'd be history. After a couple of dates, if I hadn't had sex with her, I wouldn't be wasting my time with her and I'd move onto someone else.

    Your inexperience at dating shows. You should've made your move and kissed her on the first date. By not kissing her, you come across as weak because you didn't take the lead and initiate the kiss (since women usually expect the guy to initiate these things, and they don't like weak/hesitant guys). Also, by not kissing her or doing anything sexual, you've set yourself up to be friend zoned. When she friend zones you, you can't blame her....you did it to yourself.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    You've been on a couple of dates and only 'hugged and held hands'? Dude, you're her gay best friend. You didn't establish right from the start that you wanted to be lovers and not just friends. You're going to be friend zoned very soon...

    Seriously, if you haven't kissed a girl on the first date, you're a pussy and can't complain when the girl says she just wants to be friends.

    And ice staking for a first date? Better to meet for coffee so you can chat and get to know each other and see if you're compatible.

    If I hadn't kissed a girl by the end of the first date, she'd be history. After a couple of dates, if I hadn't had sex with her, I wouldn't be wasting my time with her and I'd move onto someone else.

    Your inexperience at dating shows. You should've made your move and kissed her on the first date. By not kissing her, you come across as weak because you didn't take the lead and initiate the kiss (since women usually expect the guy to initiate these things, and they don't like weak/hesitant guys). Also, by not kissing her or doing anything sexual, you've set yourself up to be friend zoned. When she friend zones you, you can't blame her....you did it to yourself.


    Excuse me, "Mr Egocentric", - After a couple of dates, if I hadn't had sex with her, I wouldn't be wasting my time with her and I'd move onto someone else.

    physical relations within a new or begining of an relationship is not always neccesary and appropiate, i think what you just clearly stated above is out of order! what makes you think every girl wants to sleep with you after only a couple of dates? and not even be in a serious relationship. you best have ome across many naive girls who would just let you walk all over you, trust me that is nothing at all to brag about!
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    (Original post by Livbo)
    well for starters, i wouldnt recomend to ask her about realtionships over text? thats very child-like, and girls appreciate guys who actually have the guts to be themselves around them and ask them. but even if she wasn't interested in a relationship, you "cant be bothered to be friends"?.. if you think that, then you obviously aren't that keen.
    Yup, yup, yup
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    You've been on a couple of dates and only 'hugged and held hands'? Dude, you're her gay best friend. You didn't establish right from the start that you wanted to be lovers and not just friends. You're going to be friend zoned very soon...

    Seriously, if you haven't kissed a girl on the first date, you're a pussy and can't complain when the girl says she just wants to be friends.

    And ice staking for a first date? Better to meet for coffee so you can chat and get to know each other and see if you're compatible.

    If I hadn't kissed a girl by the end of the first date, she'd be history. After a couple of dates, if I hadn't had sex with her, I wouldn't be wasting my time with her and I'd move onto someone else.

    Your inexperience at dating shows. You should've made your move and kissed her on the first date. By not kissing her, you come across as weak because you didn't take the lead and initiate the kiss (since women usually expect the guy to initiate these things, and they don't like weak/hesitant guys). Also, by not kissing her or doing anything sexual, you've set yourself up to be friend zoned. When she friend zones you, you can't blame her....you did it to yourself.
    It doesnt necessary mean that you're her gay friend but pretty much you have to kick it up a notch before she friend zones you.
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    (Original post by Livbo)
    physical relations within a new or begining of an relationship is not always neccesary and appropiate,
    How are physical relations within a new or beginning of a relationship 'not necessary'? What planet are you living on? Why do men and women get together? Answer: because they have a degree of SEXUAL attraction towards each other. If you're not having sex with someone, it's just a platonic friendship. Girls and guys get together to HAVE SEX. Sure, they spend time together and enjoy each others' company non-sexually too, but the fundamental reason for getting together with a member of the opposite sex is SEXUAL ATTRACTION.

    How are physical relations within a new or beginning of a relationship 'not appropriate'?

    Explain your reasoning here.

    (Original post by Livbo)
    i think what you just clearly stated above is out of order!
    If telling someone the complete truth, devoid of any bull**** = 'out of order' then that's a strange definition of 'out of order'.

    If not wanting to waste pursuing girls who are not going to put out = 'out of order' then you clearly must believe wasting time is a good thing. I personally HATE wasting time.

    (Original post by Livbo)
    what makes you think every girl wants to sleep with you after only a couple of dates?
    Not every girl wants to sleep with me after a couple of dates. I never said they did, so don't put words in my mouth.

    What I actually said was 'if a girl doesn't want to sleep with me after a few dates, I'm not going to waste my time pursuing her any longer'. My rule is 3 dates...if a girl doesn't want to sleep with me after 3 dates, she's wasting my time, playing games with me, or just isn't attracted to me, and I don't want to spend any longer pursuing her. I cut her loose and move onto another girl.

    There is a limit to how much time I'm prepared to spend pursuing a girl before it becomes a waste of time and I have to move onto someone whose interests are in line with my own. Time is precious after all, and when I meet a girl it is because I'm interested in having sex with her and spending time with her and getting to know her. If there is no sex or she doesn't want sex with me, I want to move on to someone who can give me what I'm looking for.

    (Original post by Livbo)
    and not even be in a serious relationship.
    Who said that sleeping with someone means you can't be in a 'serious relationship' with them? What is a 'serious relationship' if there is no sex? Answer: a platonic friendship. Or a marriage (think about that one!)

    ALL 'serious relationships' (I assume you mean boyfriend/girlfriend relationships) are based on SEXUAL LOVE, not PLATONIC LOVE...so to suggest having sex with someone means the relationship isn't 'serious' is just ridiculous. It's actually opposite...if there is NO sex, then it's not a 'serious relationship'.

    (Original post by Livbo)
    you best have ome across many naive girls who would just let you walk all over you, trust me that is nothing at all to brag about!
    I didn't brag about anything. Show me where I bragged about anything. I simply stated that I have a limit to the amount of time I'm willing to pursue a girl before having sex, and I gave the OP some no bull**** advice and wisdom.

    And you seem to think that if a girl sleeps with a guy within the first few dates, then she's naive. This just is NOT TRUE. So are you basically saying that every girl who sleeps with a guy within the first couple of dates is naive? How so?

    To be honest, you sound very young and inexperienced when it comes to dating and sex. And you also seem to have a lot of 'social brainwashing' with all these ideas about waiting for sex/girls being naive if they have sex not long after meeting a guy...etc etc. I find it hard to take you seriously.
 
 
 
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