been silly!!!!! (and a b*tch)

Hi I have a bit of a problem,
Ok i'm really bad at just giving the short version but i'll try.
Last november i met this lad in a bar and we got on and swapped numbers etc.
He msg'd me the next day and we were talking and we decided that we'd meet up for a drink, so just as we're arranging this he drops in that oh yeah by the way he has a gf!! So i was all ok then probably not good idea to meet up and thought what a nob.
But we live quite close and i saw him again in a pub and he bought me a drink to say sorry and hoped i didn't think he was a sh*t. Then he messaged me later that night, and basically he's messaged me every day since then, we see each other all the time and we're pretty much bestest friends. Trouble is we've not been just friends, at first it was just a kiss if we were a bit drunk but then lately its got much more serious.
He always said he'd never break up with his gf and that didn't seem to matter before cos, well i don't know it just didn't. But now its gone way beyond friends, and we really have such an intense friendship anyway we're in touch all the time!! He says he loves me, he thinks the world of me, we're best friends and we've got chemistry. his gf lives away and he doesn't see her much so most of the time things are fine, and most of the time we manage to be just friends. but then when he's with his gf its so hard and i get so hurt. i don't really know what i'm trying to ask, cos i know this all my own doing i've always known the situation. and well lets face it this just what i deserve for doing this to his gf.
i think i need to just stop seeing him altogether and stop talking with him, but i just don't know if i can do it. any advice from anyone on how to just break away from someone who you've got so close to would be much appreciated!!!!!!
ta
jeni x

Reply 1

lirael

7

Cutting someone who is such a big part of your life is a big step and you seem sure you want to do it. The basic thing is that there is no easy way to do that. You have to be honest and presistent but don't crack no matter how much he tries to contact you.

Reply 2

MNBStyle

9

I 100% agree with that quote above,

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 3

Apricot Fairy

16

I think you should tell his girlfriend. He sounds like a complete sh*t, and you need to tell yourself that. She also deserves to know. You can't get away with treating people like that.

Reply 4

Dalimyr

17

MNBStyle

I 100% agree with that quote above,

As do I. The guy sounds like a complete ass. You'd be doing the right thing to forget about him, hun. Just get into your head that that's what you want to do, and stay firm. If he calls or texts you, don't reply. If you pass each other in the street, blank him. It sounds a little harsh, but it'll work; he should eventually get the hint...only downside would be that he'd probably think you're a bitch afterwards, but he's the one in the wrong, not you.

Reply 5

Evenstar

13

There are basically 2 options here. Either:

1) His relationship with his girlfriend has run it's course, he really does love you and needs to break up with her, or:
2) As everyone above has said, he's stringing you along and you need to get shot of him ASAP.

You need to talk to him and give him an ultimatum. Either he breaks up with his girlfriend and becomes a proper couple with you, or if he's not willing to do that, you dump him and forget about him.

*BIG HUGS* 'cos I think you'll need them either way babes!

Good Luck!

Reply 6

CherryGarcia

1

According to what you wrote, I think he is using you...I mean, If a guy would really love someone, he would be with that person not a GF, who is far away. And I think, you should respect yourself and his GF and cut the relationship, or ask him to choose. If he really loves you, he will choose you..if not, then it is good you asked him, coz your time is too precious to waste it on someone, who doesnt worth it.
p.s. I have distant relationships, and my BF is far away from me, I am sure in him, he is very faithful etc, but I feel really sorry for the GF of ur friend right now, coz I can imagine what pain her BF is giving to her right now by being with you...

Reply 7

grace

15

Dalimyr

As do I. The guy sounds like a complete ass. You'd be doing the right thing to forget about him, hun. Just get into your head that that's what you want to do, and stay firm. If he calls or texts you, don't reply. If you pass each other in the street, blank him. It sounds a little harsh, but it'll work; he should eventually get the hint...only downside would be that he'd probably think you're a bitch afterwards, but he's the one in the wrong, not you.

erm, HELLO, think about what she's just said...she knowingly got involved with this guy when she knew he had a gf who he doesn't intend to dump.. that sounds like she's in the wrong just as much. think about the poor gf! sheesh. why can't girls just get their own men?! he's taken, yes, he's a scum ball for letting things get this far with another girl but they would never have gone this far if, right from the start, she did the morally decent thing and refused to get close to him (he was a STRANGER from the beginning! she didn't have to get emotionally involved.). golly. i'm shocked at you people, offering sympathy! oughtta be ashamed.

*i speak not from a 'holier than thou' standpoint either...i was involved with a guy for over 8 months who had a gf...and i know i was the world's biggest B I T C H for having done so. no excuses.*

Reply 8

willey

4

Yes the guy was in the wrong for cheating on his girlfriend, but usually when someone says they are involved with someone, then that’s it, should be nothing more than friends. If I liked a girl and she said she had a boyfriend its simple I leave it at that, even if she tried it on with me.

But what you need to do is just tell him straight you don’t wana do it anymore. Its not fair on you or his girlfriend.

been silly!!!!! (and a b*tch)

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