The Student Room Group

Stopping Self Harming?

(please keep anon!!!)

Hey everyone,

I know this really isn't good, quite a few bad things have happened in my life. On top of these things are are stresses of A Levels & uni and things as well. I get bullied at sixth form by my peers for wanting to do well (as I attend a school where anti-intellectualism is a big thing). My family are incredibly unsupportive and are too busy dealing with their own things to bother listening to my issues. I'm also having issues regarding my sexuality, in a place where everybody around my is extremely homophobic.

I've always had problems talking about things and instead developed the habit of self harming. It's been going on for about 2 years and has got progressively worse. I've been to the doctors and they've made me see a councellor and a therapist; none of these things helped.

Has anyone on here beaten it? If so, please can you give me some advice or tips? I'm fed up of having to hide my tracks or be ashamed of my actions. I'm fed up of taking everything out on myself. I really want to fight this and beat it.

I can't be dealing with any messages such as "oh you emo stop slitting your wrists" etc. I'm feeling very delicate so please, please, kind comments only...

Thankyou x
Reply 1
I did when I was about 14 and relapsed when I was suffering from the effects of a nervous breakdown aged 18. I made sure I had nothing around to harm myself with and looked into other ways to release frustration like talking to people about my problems, making sure I was around people so I was distracted and working out instead.
Reply 2
Even if your experiences with them haven't been great, counsellors and therapists can help you recover. However, how long have you been seeing them? Did you make any progress whilst seeing them? You have to be patient, as these things do take time. If you've been with them a while, however, you should probably seek another therapist - you often have to try around before you find the right one.
TSR, sadly, probably isn't the best place to get self-injury help. There are communities on the internet which specialise in mental health, but I can't recommend any as I've never been a member. A quick search on Google should direct you to somewhere decent.
Meanwhile, there are many ways to distract yourself from self-injury. Here is a list of things which may help you, and you may want to check out the whole website, too.
Sorry if I haven't been massively helpful. I'm going through the same issue and I'm terrible at helping myself. Good luck with it all.
(edited 13 years ago)
Reply 3
I self harmed when I was in year 11. I felt that I couldn't cope with all of the exams and stress due to that and the fact that I wasn't even finishing exams. I was (and still am to a point) one of those people that would spend much longer than needed on work.

For me, counselling worked. It allowed me to talk about it and also she taught me lots of different techniques to help me calm down and things to do when I felt I was going to self ham. One of the things would be to write upside down with the other hand to what I usually write with. I was so concentrated on that, that it helped me to forget everything else.

I count it as a different chapter of my life which is now behind me. Just try to come up with something to distract yourself when you feel like you need to self harm like I did. It can help. And having someone there who can support you and you feel comfortable to talk to can help.
Original post by Anonymous
(please keep anon!!!)

Hey everyone,

I know this really isn't good, quite a few bad things have happened in my life. On top of these things are are stresses of A Levels & uni and things as well. I get bullied at sixth form by my peers for wanting to do well (as I attend a school where anti-intellectualism is a big thing). My family are incredibly unsupportive and are too busy dealing with their own things to bother listening to my issues. I'm also having issues regarding my sexuality, in a place where everybody around my is extremely homophobic.

I've always had problems talking about things and instead developed the habit of self harming. It's been going on for about 2 years and has got progressively worse. I've been to the doctors and they've made me see a councellor and a therapist; none of these things helped.

Has anyone on here beaten it? If so, please can you give me some advice or tips? I'm fed up of having to hide my tracks or be ashamed of my actions. I'm fed up of taking everything out on myself. I really want to fight this and beat it.

I can't be dealing with any messages such as "oh you emo stop slitting your wrists" etc. I'm feeling very delicate so please, please, kind comments only...

Thankyou x


1stly keep up the hard work.... and i totally understand the stress of a levels & uni & life can be sooo overwhelming....

well i used to self harm...and i still get really reall really tempted 2 doing it but the thing that helps me is that my body belongs to Jesus...& by hurting it...im hurting him... which is selfish after all he's done for meee....

Just stay strongggg nd u can message me if u wanna talkkk x
I did a few years back, it's definately a period of my life I look back on with sadness.
You really need to talk to someone, don't they do counselling sessions at your college?
That could be really help you because atm you sound like you have all these things bottled up which is probably quite a major factor in why you're self harming, you don't even have to mention you are self harming just tell them how you're feeling.
The fact you want to stop and are willing to seek help is a really good sign. Try keeping a diary or something as well! Also remember to just work hard because it will pay off!

Good luck. :smile:
What you need to do is find a new way to deal with the emotions. Try to find out why exactly you're self harming. If it is just general unhappiness and not knowing how to deal with things, then you should find someone to talk to. Message me if you want, talk to counsellors, therapists, your friends. If it's a way for you to control your life, try to control your life in a different way. Make a schedule, stick to it. Are you doing it to 'feel alive?' Do something exciting that's safe and legal.

Maybe try exercising. Or channel your emotions into something else, like a sport or a hobby.

One thing that has helped me stop is having someone who is there for you, or someone who checks if you are still self harming. You need to think to yourself: "I want to stop. I need to stop." And you will have to believe that decision with all of your heart, because only then will you be able to stop. Start one step at a time. Keep a list of how many days you can go without it. Reward yourself with something, like chocolate, after every X number of days you go without it.

I hope you find a way to help yourself. Be strong :smile:

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