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Would you dump him for this or let it go? Watch

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    My boyfriend and I had the perfect relationship for the first six months; he made it clear he was absolutely devoted to me and went out of his way to stop anyone getting in between us. He had a (very hot) female friend who he had pulled in the past, and who would constantly try it on with him after we got together. I saw him reject her for me on several occasions, so I knew he was loyal and taking the relationship seriously.

    After six months we hit a really bad patch which was entirely my fault. I became really insecure and paranoid about EVERYTHING and would constantly shout at him, question him about everything and generally make his life hell. This culminated in me dumping him, pulling someone else the same night, and then taking him back the next day when he begged me to try and change back to who I used to be.

    Things got a lot better after those few months and now are pretty much back to perfect. He admitted to me yesterday that when things were bad, he had been invited out for dinner with a guy from work who was bringing a female friend with him who he hadn't seen for years, and so my boyfriend invited THAT girl (the one who always tried it on) to go with them, and they went out as a foursome. He hid this from me for nearly a year, saying he did it because he had almost lost hope in us ever working and didn't want to continue to reject this girl when she kept trying to contact him and be his friend.

    He swears he didn't kiss her and that it was just as friends, but he didn't see why he should cut people who wanted to be his friend out of his life for my sake - when I was being a terrible person towards him.

    I think it was all my fault but I hate the thought that he has lied all this time and the thought of them out for dinner when I had no idea....am I over-reacting? Should I get over it or dump him?
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    Get over it, he hasn't done anything wrong and you know he's been loyal to you. Sounds like he must have been under a lot of stress with your behaviour. And hey, at least he admitted it to you, which means he has nothing to hide - if he'd not told you and you found out by accident THEN you'd have a right to be angry :p:
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    Get over it. It's in the past and, if things are good between you now, why let something that happened months ago come between you. Move on from it. I'm sure he learnt from his mistake.
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    Hang on, you pulled, he went out on a date, and you're worrying whether to forgive him??
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    (Original post by talon1579)
    Hang on, you pulled, he went out on a date, and you're worrying whether to forgive him??
    We had broken up when I did that.

    He says it wasn't a date, just friends? Why do you say it's a date?
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    i don't see what he did wrong (apart from keep it from you)

    quite a few of my ex's are really close friends. i meet up with them all the time. i'll regularly go out to dinner/coffee with a female friend. it means absolutely nothing. my girlfriend couldn't care less.
    if i wanted to be with somebody else then i wouldn't be with my girlfriend, simple as that.

    same goes for your boyfriend. if he wanted to be with this other girl he would have dumped you ages ago and went out with her instead. the fact he's still with you proves you have nothing to worry about
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    (Original post by munchkin88)
    I became really insecure and paranoid about EVERYTHING and would constantly shout at him, question him about everything and generally make his life hell.

    This culminated in me dumping him, pulling someone else the same night, and then taking him back the next day when he begged me to try and change back to who I used to be.
    Hmm.......


    ok wow.

    So you think his behaviour is deemed 'dumpable' ? Looks lke you have your morals wrong. If its okay for you to pull another guy on the SAME night you finished with him, then i have no idea why you would get insecure at him taking out another girl for dinner one night.

    Looks like you havent got over your insecurity at all.
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    What? Did he actually lie to you? Or just not tell you something that might have upset you at a time where you were already getting upset and dumping him over nothing?
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    (Original post by skenny7)
    Hmm.......


    ok wow.

    So you think his behaviour is deemed 'dumpable' ? Looks lke you have your morals wrong. If its okay for you to pull another guy on the SAME night you finished with him, then i have no idea why you would get insecure at him taking out another girl for dinner one night.

    Looks like you havent got over your insecurity at all.
    You're talking about it like it was a date - she paid for her own dinner and there were two other people there....do you really think it was a date?
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    He went out for a meal, and because he didn't tell you you're considering dumping him?
    What's wrong with you?
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    (Original post by Calabash)
    He went out for a meal, and because he didn't tell you you're considering dumping him?
    What's wrong with you?
    Because he said he didn't want to see this girl as she had tried to get between us in the past....
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    anyone?
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    hmm.. well after analysing the situation carefully and properly, I have come to the conclusion that..
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    you're a complete bi*ch and should just gtfo now :holmes:
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    If two guys bring one girl each to dinner (one has a date so the other brings one too), I'd call that a date.

    That still doesn't give you a reason to yell at him. If you should say anything, it would be "I'm sorry for the way I behaved and I will promise not to be so ... (whatever your problem was), but in return you have to promise me to always be honest. If you can get over what I did, I can forgive you for future mistakes you make, all I demand is that you don't keep things from me".
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    (Original post by *Lollo*)
    If two guys bring one girl each to dinner (one has a date so the other brings one too), I'd call that a date.

    That still doesn't give you a reason to yell at him. If you should say anything, it would be "I'm sorry for the way I behaved and I will promise not to be so ... (whatever your problem was), but in return you have to promise me to always be honest. If you can get over what I did, I can forgive you for future mistakes you make, all I demand is that you don't keep things from me".
    I thought this too, but it turns out the other guy and the girl were just friends; there was nothing going on between them. In that case, would you still call it a date?
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    Awh you're joking me ye onion.

    Basically, you make his life hell for ages over nothing, giving him no reason to want to be with you, or think that he will be with you. He was simply keeping ties to his life that you were trying to break.

    Then you break up with him, despite the fact he still wanted to be with you, and get with someone that same night. I wonder if you told HIM that... Now you're just doing the exact same to the guy who was loyal to you.

    Get the hell over it, **************
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    Just....wow. :rolleyes:
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    I find it strange how the OP is more concerned about why most people are considering it a "date". OP... you PULLED a guy when you were broken up. He went out to dinner with a FRIEND?
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    (Original post by linkdapink)
    I find it strange how the OP is more concerned about why most people are considering it a "date". OP... you PULLED a guy when you were broken up. He went out to dinner with a FRIEND?
    WHEN WE WERE BROKEN UP- exactly! He did this dinner thing when we were IN A RELATIONSHIP.
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    (Original post by munchkin88)
    WHEN WE WERE BROKEN UP- exactly! He did this dinner thing when we were IN A RELATIONSHIP.
    You can Ross Geller the "we were on a break" line for as long as you want. He didn't cheat on you, he kept it from you yes so you can be annoyed. Dumping him? After he was understanding of you treating him like crap? You're having a laugh aren't you?
 
 
 
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