I have this frantic fear of doctors so I thought I'd check with you guys before wasting a counsellor's time - do I have a problem?
- I bite the skin around my nails until I bleed so I can ingest the blood.
- I talk to myself as having three personas but I am the dominant of the three with the opinions that are correct and with the power of veto should my discourse run such that what I thought was the best idea turns out to be the inferior.
- I cut grooves into my nails so they feel nice when I brush my fingertip over them
- I have set eight distinct booby traps around my flat and two of them could easily blind my flatmates.
- I cut my cheeks and forehead with a serrated knife and masturbate to the sight in the mirror.
- I steal money from my family members.
- I threaten anyone who speaks to me in public.
- I step on pigeons in the street and chuckle if it stops moving afterwards.
- I have to wash my hands if the thought of someone inferior to me enters my mind [so washing hands in hot water with soap every 30-90 minutes on a bad night.]
- I cannot tolerate being near members of the public for extended periods of time without laughing hysterically.
- I can rarely support my head and keep it rested on my shoulders when walking.
- I tore off my own little finger's nail to see if I could put it back.
- I punched my sister in the mouth to get more money from the tooth fairy when I was younger.
- I strangled my mother in a bar in the middle of a conversation.
- I fantasise about taking advantage of my 21 year old niece.
I mean, it's obvious that I'm irregular, but do I actually need to see someone about this?
... and the ones that won't