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    #1

    I have this frantic fear of doctors so I thought I'd check with you guys before wasting a counsellor's time - do I have a problem?

    • I bite the skin around my nails until I bleed so I can ingest the blood.
    • I talk to myself as having three personas but I am the dominant of the three with the opinions that are correct and with the power of veto should my discourse run such that what I thought was the best idea turns out to be the inferior.
    • I cut grooves into my nails so they feel nice when I brush my fingertip over them
    • I have set eight distinct booby traps around my flat and two of them could easily blind my flatmates.
    • I cut my cheeks and forehead with a serrated knife and masturbate to the sight in the mirror.
    • I steal money from my family members.
    • I threaten anyone who speaks to me in public.
    • I step on pigeons in the street and chuckle if it stops moving afterwards.
    • I have to wash my hands if the thought of someone inferior to me enters my mind [so washing hands in hot water with soap every 30-90 minutes on a bad night.]
    • I cannot tolerate being near members of the public for extended periods of time without laughing hysterically.
    • I can rarely support my head and keep it rested on my shoulders when walking.
    • I tore off my own little finger's nail to see if I could put it back.
    • I punched my sister in the mouth to get more money from the tooth fairy when I was younger.
    • I strangled my mother in a bar in the middle of a conversation.
    • I fantasise about taking advantage of my 21 year old niece.


    I mean, it's obvious that I'm irregular, but do I actually need to see someone about this?
 
 
 
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