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    my bf and i broke up a couple months ago, but i still feel like i'm in incredible pain. it's like a longing aching pain that feels like nothing can soothe except us getting back together (which i'm pretty sure will not happen anytime soon). the exacerbating thing about the pain is that i know he is still attracted to me and wants me, but not as a gf.

    the reason we broke up, after 3 and a half years together, is because he didn't want to commitment of having a gf - that doesn't mean he is a player, i think he just wanted time to himself. he says he hasn't been out with anyone else and i believe him.

    we still talk and see each other maybe once a week to every 2 weeks. it makes it worse and better at the same time, if that makes sense. i just want the pain to stop but i don't want to lose him. i miss him so much.

    any wise words would be gratefully received.

    xx
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    Well if there's no chance of you two getting back together then the only way the pain will eventually go away is if you cut all contact with him and in time it gets easier.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Well if there's no chance of you two getting back together then the only way the pain will eventually go away is if you cut all contact with him and in time it gets easier.
    this is the problem. i'm not sure if we will never get back together. i hope we will. i know he's still attracted to me. the reason we broke up is that he is not mature enough to deal with a relationship. it's silly but i'm holding onto the hope he will grow up soon and realise what he is losing. that is what keeps me around.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Well if there's no chance of you two getting back together then the only way the pain will eventually go away is if you cut all contact with him and in time it gets easier.
    Yes afraid to say this OP - give him his time to be alone if that's what he needs, but don't put your life on hold. As hard as it may be, the best thing for you to do is to look forward and try to move on :console:
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    Well I hate to say this but the sounds of it, he just wants to have his cake and eat it.
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    You can't just sit and wait around for something that may or may not happen. I mean, I'm all up for waiting for that someone, being there for them when the time is right and when they realise, but if there's no gurantee that they will get back with you, then what is the point?

    This is the mistake I made with my ex. I was thinking about 'lets wait until he is ready, one of these days he will change his mind' and then I find out he's seeing another girl. That spelt out to me pretty clearly that there wasn't a chance of being together, and also suggests that he's moved on enough to start looking for another person. You don't want your emotions to get to the stage of him moving on, but you still holding onto something that isn't there.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    my bf and i broke up a couple months ago, but i still feel like i'm in incredible pain. it's like a longing aching pain that feels like nothing can soothe except us getting back together (which i'm pretty sure will not happen anytime soon). the exacerbating thing about the pain is that i know he is still attracted to me and wants me, but not as a gf.

    the reason we broke up, after 3 and a half years together, is because he didn't want to commitment of having a gf - that doesn't mean he is a player, i think he just wanted time to himself. he says he hasn't been out with anyone else and i believe him.

    we still talk and see each other maybe once a week to every 2 weeks. it makes it worse and better at the same time, if that makes sense. i just want the pain to stop but i don't want to lose him. i miss him so much.

    any wise words would be gratefully received.

    xx
    Don’t mean to sound harsh, but when someone breaks up with you, while you may get the relationship going again you will always hold the inferior position in that relationship.
    It’s best to move on with life and find someone that can be your equal in a relationship.
    Best wishes
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    Look, you have to look at the brightside of life.
    You're single, you can do whatever you want and focus on your goals without someone disagreeing with your decisions.
    Don't wait for you ex to see if he will come back or not because chances are he may not.
    Don't hold your life decisions just for him.
    Decide for yourself or else you will miss/regret a lot of things in life.
    Sounds like you depend your happiness on him. That's not healthy you know.
    You should be able to make yourself happy, if you can't do that, you are not ready to get into a relationship yet.
    Work on yourself first.
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    Get a few tubs of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, go to town on them, problem sorted.
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    (Original post by James')
    Get a few tubs of Ben & Jerry's ice cream, go to town on them, problem sorted.
    i would if it wasn't so cold!

    (Original post by kristinaalovesu)
    Look, you have to look at the brightside of life.
    You're single, you can do whatever you want and focus on your goals without someone disagreeing with your decisions.
    Don't wait for you ex to see if he will come back or not because chances are he may not.
    Don't hold your life decisions just for him.
    Decide for yourself or else you will miss/regret a lot of things in life.
    Sounds like you depend your happiness on him. That's not healthy you know.
    You should be able to make yourself happy, if you can't do that, you are not ready to get into a relationship yet.
    Work on yourself first.
    i just miss him so much. it's like there's a big hole in my life. i just don't know how to fill it. i don't just trust anyone, so i i just want to feel safe and comfortable again.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i would if it wasn't so cold!



    i just miss him so much. it's like there's a big hole in my life. i just don't know how to fill it. i don't just trust anyone, so i i just want to feel safe and comfortable again.
    You will feel that way for a bit, but time will heal you anyways.
    You feel that way because you're heartbroken, but later on when you meet someone special, you'll be feeling safe again.
 
 
 
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