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Can't stop thinking negatively of everything Watch

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    Hi,

    I've been noticing a pattern in my life lately, that every 2 or so weeks I'll have a bit of a breakdown and just fall into this horrible pit. All my anxieties and worries just come back to taunt me over and over again. I feel so inadequate and it reminds me of all the bad things going on in my life. At the moment, I feel really awful because I feel like I don't have enough friends, when I do, but I compare myself to other people and feel so crap. Since starting sixth form, I've made many acquaintances but just don't know how to develop that into proper friendships because I really would love to. I'm naturally shy but I still make a massive effort to come out of my shell and when I see that other people don't make such an effort with me it breaks my heart and just makes me feel worthless. From there I start wondering what the hell's wrong with me, going through everything I say and do to find faults and find a way to explain why I can't do it so easily. I look at my other friends in other sixth forms and they've made friends so easily, although they do see their friends more due to structures, but I look at I feel so crap about myself. I get so, so, so lonely and I don't know how to stop every bad thought and every mistake I've made to stop racing around in my head. I don't even want to got to the sixth form anymore, although I love it besides all this, I just can't take another two years of this.

    My boyfriend is wonderful but because we don't see each other very often, he doesn't know about this horrible, stupid side of me where I become so lonely it's a little bit self destructive. I don't want him to know because then I'm going to seem so unstable and just push him away. I don't want to get to the point where he's the only good thing in my life, you know? The only thing that'll make me happy.

    I must sound really ungrateful and whiny but I just don't know what to do. I'm fed up with destroying myself and having to think about everything that's wrong with me because this isn't the life I want for myself but I just don't know what to do about it. I say that everyday is a new day and it'll change but it just isn't I just feel so alone, I feel like I can't even tell anyone about this and it hurts.

    Really sorry for the long post!
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    Dont be down, everyone has down times.
    Read my blog(in my sig) for some inspiration
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    You been stalking cos that sounds an awful lot like myself. Serious at least you're not alone cos I am exactly the same as what you described
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    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    Hi,

    I've been noticing a pattern in my life lately, that every 2 or so weeks I'll have a bit of a breakdown and just fall into this horrible pit. All my anxieties and worries just come back to taunt me over and over again. I feel so inadequate and it reminds me of all the bad things going on in my life. At the moment, I feel really awful because I feel like I don't have enough friends, when I do, but I compare myself to other people and feel so crap. Since starting sixth form, I've made many acquaintances but just don't know how to develop that into proper friendships because I really would love to. I'm naturally shy but I still make a massive effort to come out of my shell and when I see that other people don't make such an effort with me it breaks my heart and just makes me feel worthless. From there I start wondering what the hell's wrong with me, going through everything I say and do to find faults and find a way to explain why I can't do it so easily. I look at my other friends in other sixth forms and they've made friends so easily, although they do see their friends more due to structures, but I look at I feel so crap about myself. I get so, so, so lonely and I don't know how to stop every bad thought and every mistake I've made to stop racing around in my head. I don't even want to got to the sixth form anymore, although I love it besides all this, I just can't take another two years of this.

    My boyfriend is wonderful but because we don't see each other very often, he doesn't know about this horrible, stupid side of me where I become so lonely it's a little bit self destructive. I don't want him to know because then I'm going to seem so unstable and just push him away. I don't want to get to the point where he's the only good thing in my life, you know? The only thing that'll make me happy.

    I must sound really ungrateful and whiny but I just don't know what to do. I'm fed up with destroying myself and having to think about everything that's wrong with me because this isn't the life I want for myself but I just don't know what to do about it. I say that everyday is a new day and it'll change but it just isn't I just feel so alone, I feel like I can't even tell anyone about this and it hurts.

    Really sorry for the long post!
    I don't know if this helps, but I know exactly how you feel, I've been feeling pretty similar myself for a while. The first few weeks of uni were fun, but now I'm getting more and more lonely, even though I've got enough friends I still feel worthless about myself etc. I do have really low self esteem and never think much of myself. That pretty much makes me angry with everyone else and not a pleasant person to be around at all, even though I never mean it, it's just mood swings! Generally when I'm in that mood I know now I have to do something to take my mind off it, even if that's just sticking a good film on and doing my nails

    Tell your boyfriend how you're feeling though, he'd want to know if you're feeling down and upset, and he'd be able to cheer you up I'm sure. When I'm feeling like that I know all I want is someone to come and give me a hug and make me feel like I'm actually worth something.

    Hope things look up for you I'm really shy too, but I've found that a big smile works, and if you're next to someone in class you've never spoken to just start a conversation, see where it goes
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    Thanks for all the replies It's at least slightly reassuring that I'm not alone. I am trying to distract myself from everything but it's still pretty hard - I've not been to sixth form for the past two days because I couldn't face it. In a way, I'm a bit intimidated to go. Probably a bad idea, seeing as that would be a distraction!

    I'm not sure about telling my boyfriend about it though... do you think it would scare him away?

    Thank you again for all the replies, really appreciated.
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    Just remember, success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm
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    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    I've been noticing a pattern in my life lately, that every 2 or so weeks I'll have a bit of a breakdown and just fall into this horrible pit. !
    Go into a real horrible pit. Preferably a bat cave filled with guano. Then your metaphorical pit will seem pleasant in comparison.
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    At least you have a boyfriend.
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    [Tough Love]

    Oh come on OP. I feel like I've seen it a million times already. :rolleyes: There seems to be such a tendency for people to go about their life with nothing but self serving down beat sympathy that I've forgotten what a happy person is.

    Look at the good things you've got going in life - your family, your actual friends (I'm assuming you had the before 6th form), that fact you are intelligent enough and hard working to be in 6th form in the first place. You have a roof over your head and an internet connection... some would kill for that.

    This mental state you're in needs to be nipped in the bud. If you need real help with this (which some do - one of my best friends has horrendous social anxiety), then talk to your GP. If it's just a case of you focusing on the negatives in life, then get a grip!

    Finally - yes, talk to your boyfriend. If you can't tell the person closest to you what you're feeling, whether good or bad, for worry about their reaction, I'd question that relationship.

    [/tough love]

    Hope you work it all out.
 
 
 
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