Right, if you are going to post either personal attacks, then don't bother. Basically, I need some advice.
I'm currently 17 - I'm of Southern Asian ethnicity and a Muslim. I follow my religion and I am vaguely aware of what my religion says about homosexuality. Now...I never chose to be gay, I know being homosexual is in my nature. I realised this several years ago when I started getting turned on by boys around me and stuff, girls never used to rarely turn me on. This leads me onto whether I am bisexual or not.
Now, I really want to get this off my chest. But I can't. Outing my self to my parents is 100% not viable. I'd be disowned, thrown out, probarbly shipped off to Asia to get married etc etc, you know the drill. The majority of my friends are also young Asian Muslim males - most of which see homosexuality in a
very negative way. I have practically no friends that I could trust with this. I feel like I am living a secret life and it's a daily pressure, I feel like I can't express myself and have to be somebody I am not.
I'm not turned on by older males but Asian males of a similar age to me, which feels wrong - especially as some are my friends. I could never tell them because they'd probarbly kill me or whatever. But I'm not even sure if I am gay. If I see really hot girls, I do not get aroused but idk...
I am thinking of waiting till I start uni then perhaps come out of my shell. Don't get me wrong, I'm not intending on become an in-yer-face homo...
Urgh, this is killing me, I've even contemplated suicide because I feel either way, I can't be myself. What should I do?