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is it a bad idea to get involved with a guy who's in the army? Watch

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    #1

    keep anon - i don't want him or anyone i know to read this!

    basically, i met this guy at the beginning of summer and we hung out a little bit and shared a few kisses but nothing more. i then found out a few days later that he's in the army and out of the country a lot in europe but also america too.

    so he left the country and we lost contact but spoke briefly on and off before he lost his internet connection or had to hang up or whatever. i like him and i can tell he really likes me and he's keen to meet up when he's released and back in the UK.

    a couple of weeks ago he arrived back in the UK but not anywhere near my hometown. so we're speaking more and i can feel myself starting to like him more and more. but am i being stupid? realistically it's not going to work is it? he's all over the place, and although i'm not, i'm going to uni in september so how will it work? i don't want to fall for this guy and then be heartbroken everytime he has to leave (what if he has to go to iraq?? he's always on standby) but i feel like if we meet up this xmas that's the way things will become.

    what should i do?? just be honest with him and say leave it for now but always wonder what if? or keep going the way i'm going and end up hurt?
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    I think it depends what you want. If you're happy to just have fun and enjoy it in the moment, why not? If you're looking for something more serious, you have to consider how serious a relationship with someone you don't get to see much (and it's not like being together for years then having some time apart; the time apart if when you're trying to get to know one another) can be.

    Being perfectly honest here, I couldn't do it.
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    guarentee you he wont go to iraq, afghanistan maybe, but definatly not iraq
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    (Original post by danz69)
    guarentee you he wont go to iraq, afghanistan maybe, but definatly not iraq
    makes no difference to me - they're both far away and dangerous!


    eurgghh dunno what to do...
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    My mum told me people die in the army
    • #2
    #2

    to be honest i think it does work why not get him to send you letters and tell you everything should make things abit easier. xx
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    makes no difference to me - they're both far away and dangerous!


    eurgghh dunno what to do...
    just out of curiosity what regiment is he in?
    • #3
    #3

    Im in a relationship with someone who is joining the army in a few months. Going to be difficult, but i think if you don't try, you never know - like the phrase:

    Carpe diem, quam minimum credula poster
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    My sister went out with someone from the army.He was away most of the time, had a monstrous ego ,a face like a foetus and slept around.Her friend also went out with a friend of his (also from the army) and the results were pretty much the same.
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    My friend married a guy from the army, after he said he'd quit it so that they could have a normal marraige. Then afterwards he wouldn't, even after quite rightly all the time apart was affecting their marraige, so they then split up and she's now a single mum.
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    #1

    ok so these replies aren't making me feel much better...
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    my best mate boyfriend was in the army and he died in afghan in summer. they were due to get engaged when he came back and left the army a month before he came back. its destroyed her, so just so you know yu can always think it wont happen to you but then it does.
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    It didn't work out when I tried it, but that's maybe because the guy was a cheating control freak psychopath.
    If you're going to go for it, you're going to need a lot of trust.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    ok so the general consensus is bad idea. i guess i already knew tbh.
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    It depends.


    My boyfriend has just started his army training this month and will be gone for a good 4 months.

    It can work, as long as you can cope with him being distant for a while because it can get stressful.

    Right now I don't feel much but I have to realise he won't be here for valentines day or my birthday


    But yeah - It will work with a little understanding.
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    Hey...!!

    I have a good story to tell!

    My boyfriend is in the Forces and we have been together over a year now! At times it's really difficult when he has to go away of course, but then it makes us stronger as a couple. I think when you see someone too much you take them for granted and that's when arguements can happen. However, me and him always looks forward to seeing eachother and get along so well...!

    My boyfriend is away on exercise at the moment, but we are still able to speak. For two days he disappeared due to phone signal, but he's back again now :-) until his battery dies! He gets to come home every weekend except for the times he is away in the field (like now) but that's not ALL the time. He goes away on training probably twice a month I'd say, however they are 99 percent always in the week anyway, which doesn't really affect us because I don't see him in the week anyway! It's just a tad annoying if I'm having a bad day or wondering how he is and we can't chat, but I have got used to it now!

    In March, he goes to Afghanistan! I will admit I am dreading it, but not necessarily due to the fact I won't see him, it's more that I am worried for his safety! He is not at the main camp due to the Company he is in, he will be in a FOB (forward operating base!) which means the internet signal maybe a bit crappy at times but it will be do - able. We are going to write to eachother & I will send him parcels of whatever he wants or needs. We will email / facebook / skype as and when and of course he gets two weeks leave after three months so I will be really looking forward to that! Then the following three months will hopefully fly by! I just keep thinking about how proud I am going to be when I see him march back through the town near to his barracks in his uniform and when he get's his medal - I will be absoloutely glowing with pride.

    I'm not going to lie, it isn't easy. At times it's really hard, but it's not as hard as people think it is. If you truly love eachother then you can make it work! It depends if you think he is worth it or not...because as a Forces girlfriend / wife, it is you who has more of the strain than he does because you are quite often the one sat around at home waiting for him to come online, counting the days till he is home etc.. but if you are at Uni anyway, then you will be occupied in the day etc..! I would say go for it, at least that way you've tried it! What do you have to lose?! Good luck! x
    • #4
    #4

    If you're muslim it is. You might have to restrain your male relatives from beheading him.
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    (Original post by BBYoungLady)
    It depends.


    My boyfriend has just started his army training this month and will be gone for a good 4 months.

    It can work, as long as you can cope with him being distant for a while because it can get stressful.

    Right now I don't feel much but I have to realise he won't be here for valentines day or my birthday


    But yeah - It will work with a little understanding.
    Really hope this doesn't offend you but if I remember correctly your the girl that's boyfriend joined the dating website..will this not make it 100 times more difficult to try and cope with trusting him while he's away?

    I mean if you think you can do it then don't let anyone else tell you different..I just know it for me it would be so difficult to deal with it all!
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    (Original post by hayles101)
    Really hope this doesn't offend you but if I remember correctly your the girl that's boyfriend joined the dating website..will this not make it 100 times more difficult to try and cope with trusting him while he's away?

    I mean if you think you can do it then don't let anyone else tell you different..I just know it for me it would be so difficult to deal with it all!
    yeah course it's gonna be hard to deal with.

    But there is trust between me and him. Yes, When he joined that stupid website, I was devastated, but I told him to delete it, and he did plusi literally stalked his profile and there was no conversation between him and these girls. I joined the site myself afterwards and I realised it's the opposite sex that adds you and starts righting rubbish on your profile.


    I dunno, I'm not naive because If something does go down, I will end it, but I'm not gonna be paranoid about it. You're not allowed outside camp and your separate from the women so I'm not worried about it.
 
 
 
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