Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Doing things with my "old" friends fill me with dread, cut them off or keep contact?? Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Basically im in my second year of college, i have aquaintences there but not "real friends" (my high school friends went to a different college) a lot of their 18ths are coming up and so is mine actually and ive been invited to a birthday party, the thing is i never really liked them at all, they used to ***** about me, about me being poor, having crappy clothes etc.. it was pretty horrible at times, but i hung onto them during high school because they were my only friends, now after weeks of not speaking to them ive been invited to a birthday celebration, and im absolutely dreading it, e.g. im worrying about what to wear, what *****y comments they might say, me looking like a tag along, and tbh i really dont want to go, however if i decide not to they will probably never speak to me agin (they are like that!) and that would leave me completely friendless.
    In a nutshell im undecided whether to just suck it up and go because they are the only friends i have, or cut them off and face having a lonely 18th and genral crappy 2011 till university starts?

    Thanks for any advice in advance.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    .......
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Anyone...
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    If you don't want to go, don't go. If you never liked them, what's the point?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    If they're the ones that have invited you it doesn't really make you a tag-along does it?

    Be nice to them and they should be nice to you. They wouldn't have invited you otherwise.

    I'd go in my opinion.

    And also it doesn't cost a fortune to get some basic but decent looking clothes.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    It might be worth going, just to see if they have changed from the way they were. They did invite you, after all.
    If it transpires that they haven't changed, then, cut contact. They don't sound like good friends.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    guess i could go just to see if they've changed, it's not something I'm looking forward to whatsoever.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    If you are not looking forward to it you could decline with a 'diplomatic excuse'- not well or something like that.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    /thread
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Don't go! If it makes you feel comfortable use a good excuse. You don't need these people anymore. Friendship is a two way street, you've actually got to like a person for them to be your true friend.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I kinda do still need them as they are the only proper friends I have ATM!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    i reckon you shouldn't go but defo keep in contact... ask to meet up somewhereelse before your birthday then decide. don't go to the party they will get drunk and start "joking" around... just make sure you don't lose your only friends. wait till u make new friends then ditch them xoxo
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I kinda do still need them as they are the only proper friends I have ATM!
    You DON'T need b**ches, you need friends. Make some new ones.

    This is this exact situation I'm in aswell. I got invited to two parties of my old friends but I didn't go to either because i didn't have a good feeling about it. Even if they still want me as a friend, the way they treated me makes me not want them as a friend. Respect yourself and put your feelings first before theirs. Tbh, if you don't see them as good friends, then whats the point in trying to keep them? You won't be friendless, you could try turning the acquaintances you have into real friends. Plus university is only round the corner anyway, you'll soon leave everyone behind. They're not your real friends in the first place so its not a case of you losing 'real friends' if you don't go. So basically, if you don't want to go and don't even like them, don't go. You shouldn't have to behave in a certain way to pursue friendship, it should be natural and mutual. Its up to you not them.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    I'm going to be honest. If they treated you poorly, you are not obliged to go to their party. Why spend money and effort on people that couldn't give a toss about you beforehand? I do know how you're feeling because I'm going through something similar. I don't intend to come across as rude or anything, but these people anger me!

    Be civil, just until the end of your A Levels and when you go to Uni, you don't have any reason to remain in contact. You'll meet new people that fully appreciate your existence and actually treat you properly. I have some fantastic friends, people I would have never dreamed of being mates with, and others who only want me when they're bored. Try and talk to others in your subjects - it really helps! This year, I've got to know more people and others better.

    I hope everything works out for you! Feel free to PM me about anything
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    Life's too short for bad friends, leave them to it and just aim to make some new friends at college.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    If your going to have a crappy night then what's the point!
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 7, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
    Useful resources
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.