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Lost my virginity, now my best friend won't speak to me... What do I do? Watch

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    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Me: 20, female.
    Guy I lost it to: Known for 7 months.
    I liked him a LOT. He liked me back but wasn't looking for anything serious. So we just ended up having a very flirty friendship with heaps of sexual tension.

    My 2 closest friends have never particularly liked the sound of him. They told me time and time again that he's no good for me and I should get out before I get hurt anymore (he hasn't always been a great guy, but I defended him and was rather blind because of how I felt about him).

    The best friend who now won't speak to me actually told me she wouldn't speak to me properly if I ended up sleeping with him, because it would show I had no respect for her or for myself... Ok, maybe not for myself, but not for her? I don't get that... I'm thinking it was my decision to make and it doesn't have any effect on her so why should anything change between us? Why blackmail me?

    I've tried talking to her but she got a call waiting and said she'd ring me back... never did. She's moved house so she's not local anymore and she won't text me back or answer my calls. I'm not bombarding her with calls/texts because I want to give her time and not be pushy, but I don't like how this feels. We used to speak almost every day, and ok fair enough she's been very busy with her own stuff, but I can't imagine what she's been that busy with that she doesn't have time to clear the air with her best friend?

    She's not even given me a chance to explain what actually happened! She's already assumed things that aren't true and thought I lied to her, so God only knows what else she's thinking... Last time we spoke was Saturday. We've been friends for 9 years and she's like a sister to me... We've been through a lot together and we're very close. (Past few weeks we've not had much contact because she's been so busy, but it feels worse now, like she's avoiding/ignoring me). I don't want to lose her over something stupid and I've already told her that, but still nothing. What do I do?
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    It's your choice who you sleep with, not your friends.
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    this guy is not worth losing a good friend over, forget about this guy and fix your friendship
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    9 years or not, this ***** isn't your friend.
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    Maybe she was trying to tell you that she wants him for herself.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Me: 20, female.
    Guy I lost it to: Known for 7 months.
    I liked him a LOT. He liked me back but wasn't looking for anything serious. So we just ended up having a very flirty friendship with heaps of sexual tension.

    My 2 closest friends have never particularly liked the sound of him. They told me time and time again that he's no good for me and I should get out before I get hurt anymore (he hasn't always been a great guy, but I defended him and was rather blind because of how I felt about him).

    The best friend who now won't speak to me actually told me she wouldn't speak to me properly if I ended up sleeping with him, because it would show I had no respect for her or for myself... Ok, maybe not for myself, but not for her? I don't get that... I'm thinking it was my decision to make and it doesn't have any effect on her so why should anything change between us? Why blackmail me?

    I've tried talking to her but she got a call waiting and said she'd ring me back... never did. She's moved house so she's not local anymore and she won't text me back or answer my calls. I'm not bombarding her with calls/texts because I want to give her time and not be pushy, but I don't like how this feels. We used to speak almost every day, and ok fair enough she's been very busy with her own stuff, but I can't imagine what she's been that busy with that she doesn't have time to clear the air with her best friend?

    She's not even given me a chance to explain what actually happened! She's already assumed things that aren't true and thought I lied to her, so God only knows what else she's thinking... Last time we spoke was Saturday. We've been friends for 9 years and she's like a sister to me... We've been through a lot together and we're very close. (Past few weeks we've not had much contact because she's been so busy, but it feels worse now, like she's avoiding/ignoring me). I don't want to lose her over something stupid and I've already told her that, but still nothing. What do I do?

    tl;dr

    go and find it again.
    whore.
    /thread.
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    Maybe she thought you were really immature for sleeping with a jerk who told you he didn't want you, and that it implied how different you really are?

    Sounds like you aren't as close as you think.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by big-boss-91)
    this guy is not worth losing a good friend over, forget about this guy and fix your friendship
    I know he's not. But HOW do I fix my friendship when she doesn't seem willing and won't speak to me?
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    She is probably a lesbian and wanted to finger your virginity away instead. Unlucky for her
    • PS Helper
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    sounds like maybe shes jealous?? no reason to fall out with someone over something that is quite frankly none of her business... she told you her thoughts, and thats fine, you did what made you happy tho and she should be supportive!
    i say go find this guy again, have some fun and your friend will come around eventually!
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    (Original post by big-boss-91)
    this guy is not worth losing a good friend over, forget about this guy and fix your friendship
    Why should she have to lose a friend? it's not like the guy is her friends ex or someone she can really judge as OP makes it sound like her friend doesn't really know the guy. If she was a good friend she'd repect her decision and then be there if things go wrong. That's what I'd expect my friends to do
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    Smells of jealousy tbh.
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    Tell your friend to grow up.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Me: 20, female.
    Guy I lost it to: Known for 7 months.
    I liked him a LOT. He liked me back but wasn't looking for anything serious. So we just ended up having a very flirty friendship with heaps of sexual tension.

    My 2 closest friends have never particularly liked the sound of him. They told me time and time again that he's no good for me and I should get out before I get hurt anymore (he hasn't always been a great guy, but I defended him and was rather blind because of how I felt about him).

    The best friend who now won't speak to me actually told me she wouldn't speak to me properly if I ended up sleeping with him, because it would show I had no respect for her or for myself... Ok, maybe not for myself, but not for her? I don't get that... I'm thinking it was my decision to make and it doesn't have any effect on her so why should anything change between us? Why blackmail me?

    I've tried talking to her but she got a call waiting and said she'd ring me back... never did. She's moved house so she's not local anymore and she won't text me back or answer my calls. I'm not bombarding her with calls/texts because I want to give her time and not be pushy, but I don't like how this feels. We used to speak almost every day, and ok fair enough she's been very busy with her own stuff, but I can't imagine what she's been that busy with that she doesn't have time to clear the air with her best friend?

    She's not even given me a chance to explain what actually happened! She's already assumed things that aren't true and thought I lied to her, so God only knows what else she's thinking... Last time we spoke was Saturday. We've been friends for 9 years and she's like a sister to me... We've been through a lot together and we're very close. (Past few weeks we've not had much contact because she's been so busy, but it feels worse now, like she's avoiding/ignoring me). I don't want to lose her over something stupid and I've already told her that, but still nothing. What do I do?
    OP is a whore
    /thread
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    Sounds like jealousy and tbh someone who reacts like that over decisions that are YOURS to make and YOURS only is not a best friend. Go trouble your time with someone who's worth it because she certainly isn't.
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    (Original post by Hylean)
    Maybe she was trying to tell you that she wants him for herself.
    This.

    Methinks I sense the ol' green-eyed monster. She's being completely irrational, and it has nothing to do with her.
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    Typical female, irrational and making mountains out of molehills.
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    She's a rubbish friend.
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    When it comes to matters of the heart, you have to just learn the hard way. Friends can pour you with every bit of advice under the sun but until you go experience it for yourself you'll never learn.

    If you'd have listened to them and not gone there with him, you'd of forever wondered what if? Your friend should have accepted that you didn't have to take her advice. It sounds like you should make a fresh start and accept that although yes, you learnt something about a guy, you learnt more in that she was not a true friend.

    Why don't you give yourself a new start away from him and her, and concentrate on making new friends. You don't deserve to feel the way she is making you feel, no friend would do that. She would be right there beside you making you feel better.

    Good luck to you hun
    x
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    (Original post by big-boss-91)
    this guy is not worth losing a good friend over, forget about this guy and fix your friendship
    I dunno I wouldn't really want to have friends who would stop talking to me if I slept with someone they didn't approve of. But that's just me.
 
 
 
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