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wtf am i going to do? he said i have to end it with him or ....

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Reply 20
Original post by *Dreaming*
Maybe you could pretend that you've done it? Do a fake phone call or something....then act really upset so he believes you did it


my dad is really clever he wants to meet him. i don't understand why this is so necessary. i know my dad will slap him or somethin, coz he actually knows him and always loved him like a son :frown:
Reply 21
Original post by killa78
What would your dad do if you said you would want to marry him in the future, stop the drinking, dancing and smoking?

Technically you won't be doing anything wrong then...
pretty much start a new slate?


yes i do wana marry him but my dad is so angry with me right now, tbh even if i completely change start praying and wearing a headscarf my dad will never let me marry my bf :frown:
Reply 22
yeh im plannin to move out in september, i don't have enough money to move out now :frown:
Break up with him. If its real you can get back with him when things calm down. Try and learn a lesson about this otherwise it has actually been for nothing.
No, but that's my partiarchal culture and as much as i've tried i can't change the fact that it's ingrained into my parents.

We were forbidden to see each other because we made a stupid decision that my mum found out about. I tried to contact him and practically poured my heart out, explaining briefly what had happened and that i needed to speak to him. I got a short email in response and never heard from him again. I wish he would have tried something, anything, but instead i got a "have a nice life and stuff"... i dont' care what he was feeling, that was selfish and cowardly, especially considering i could soon have been disowned or thrown out on the streets by my parents for all he knew. He never even contacted me again to check if i was ok. Lol okay, now, /rant.
(edited 13 years ago)
Reply 25
Original post by I-love-life
yes i do wana marry him but my dad is so angry with me right now, tbh even if i completely change start praying and wearing a headscarf my dad will never let me marry my bf :frown:


hmmm, I dunno. If you could show him that you would give up everything to be with him, his mind may sway :smile:

but then,
What would you do if you found out your muslim daughter was sleeping with her bf, smoking, drinking etc.
Would you be willing to let her carry on?
Original post by I-love-life
do u know before he told me this, i was actually planning on chnaging my ways, stop drinking, clubbing and partying but one thing that i said i won't do is leaving my bf,,i was willing to change myself just to make them happy but now he is takin the piss..ffs im 19 :frown:


Move out asap.
Reply 27
Original post by JayB124
Move out asap.


no money, im at coll doing A2, have a part time job no way it's gna be enough to pay rent, bills and food
Original post by I-love-life
soz ppl for not telling the full story it's jus im still crying and have previous threads about this situation. I've bn with my bf for nearly 2 years now, my parents are muslim so they are against the whole bf thing as well as clubbing and drinking. I was out last week at a night club and some guy who's dad is my dad's mate saw me with my bf..the d*** told his dad and his dad told my dad..now my dad knows the truth, he knows that i smoke, drink, party and have a bf...anyway the other big problem is that my parents have met my bf before but they think that he is my best friend and he is lyk a bro to me :frown: I know its terrible now my dad is going to hate him too :frown:


well clearly your not coping with the whole muslim thing (no offence) and tell your dad that if he raised you in this country he couldnt expect you to not buy into the ideas of other people your age. Plus 2 years?? thats a long time to keep a secret like that from your parents, you should be proud! And anyway if they are dissapointed because they intended on finding 'a nice muslim boy'/any boy at all for you they can fuk off cos that **** is outdated and theres no need for it, a person has a right to choose who there boyfriend/girlfriend is. :angry:
Original post by I-love-life
no money, im at coll doing A2, have a part time job no way it's gna be enough to pay rent, bills and food


Thats why I said asap. A2s end in a few months. Just wait it out.

If you dont want to wait, get a full time job and then move out.
Logically, if what you said is right you have 2 choices- to break up with your boyfriend or move out. Rather than whining about how unfair it is (which I agree it is) you need to be thinking logically about what to do next.
Can you talk to your boyfriend before you see him with your Dad? (I wouldn't worry about your Dad and the boyfriend- if he likes you he'll be pretty pissed off himself) Can you split temporarily until everything's calmed down? Will your Dad seriously go through with it?
Or equally there's the other option:
Is there somebody else who would be willing to take you in whilst things with your parents sort themselves out? (Friends' parents, boyfriend, less radical family etc.) If you decided to move out would your parents actually go through with it? What does your Mum think of all of this? Is there anybody who could calm your Dad down and make him see reason?
I hope things work out for you but you need to think about this sort of stuff instead of whining about the fact you're 19 and they shouldn't be able to run your life- it's their house do unfortunately they can whilst you're under its roof!
Reply 31
Original post by I-love-life
I'm really sorry for making so many threads about my fam situation, but my dad wants me to break up with my bf, he jus came to my room and said he is very disappointed and can't even call me his daughter anymore, he said he wants me to end it with the basterd otherwise i have to pack my bags and leave :frown: I Can't stop crying he just came to my room lyk 5 mins ago and told me that i have to break up with my bf by 2moro or I have to leave home :frown: what am i going to do? he said he will be there when i’m ending it with him and he will confiscate my phone , and drop me to college everyday and pick me up when i’m finished! (he asked for a photocopy of my coll timetable) what the fck am i going to do now????????????????

please don't mind me for posting these threads, my friends are not very good with the whole advice thing :frown:



story
soz ppl for not telling the full story it's jus im still crying and have previous threads about this situation. I've bn with my bf for nearly 2 years now, my parents are muslim so they are against the whole bf thing as well as clubbing and drinking. I was out last week at a night club and some guy who's dad is my dad's mate saw me with my bf..the d*** told his dad and his dad told my dad..now my dad knows the truth, he knows that i smoke, drink, party and have a bf...anyway the other big problem is that my parents have met my bf before but they think that he is my best friend and he is lyk a bro to me :frown: I know its terrible now my dad is going to hate him too


I have been in that situation before. It's best just to break up. You cant fight with parents that are willing to let you live on the streets.

Im talking from experience here... I had to break up something so good.... :frown: I'll never forget that now...
Reply 32
Original post by katyness
I have been in that situation before. It's best just to break up. You cant fight with parents that are willing to let you live on the streets.

Im talking from experience here... I had to break up something so good.... :frown: I'll never forget that now...


so unfair :frown:
Reply 33
Original post by I-love-life
I'm really sorry for making so many threads about my fam situation, but my dad wants me to break up with my bf, he jus came to my room and said he is very disappointed and can't even call me his daughter anymore, he said he wants me to end it with the basterd otherwise i have to pack my bags and leave :frown: I Can't stop crying he just came to my room lyk 5 mins ago and told me that i have to break up with my bf by 2moro or I have to leave home :frown: what am i going to do? he said he will be there when i’m ending it with him and he will confiscate my phone , and drop me to college everyday and pick me up when i’m finished! (he asked for a photocopy of my coll timetable) what the fck am i going to do now????????????????

please don't mind me for posting these threads, my friends are not very good with the whole advice thing :frown:



story
soz ppl for not telling the full story it's jus im still crying and have previous threads about this situation. I've bn with my bf for nearly 2 years now, my parents are muslim so they are against the whole bf thing as well as clubbing and drinking. I was out last week at a night club and some guy who's dad is my dad's mate saw me with my bf..the d*** told his dad and his dad told my dad..now my dad knows the truth, he knows that i smoke, drink, party and have a bf...anyway the other big problem is that my parents have met my bf before but they think that he is my best friend and he is lyk a bro to me :frown: I know its terrible now my dad is going to hate him too


Try and get a guy from your college to pretend to be you BF so that you can pretend breaking up with him. That way you can still see your BF that they think is your bestfriend. You'll just have to be extra careful.
Reply 34
Do you have any other male friends? Stage a break-up with one of them for your dad's viewing pleasure - then he never has to know your bestfriend is your boyfriend...
Your parents only want what they think is best for you because they obviously love you.
However, I think it's unfair, not to mention misguided, for your Dad to try and make you choose between your boyfriend of two years and your family. Making threats and saying such hurtful things might just have been in the heat of the moment, but it was still out of order. You could try sitting down, talking about things and explaining the entire situation; this might help by causing your family to rethink a few things. Ultimately, they can't prevent you from making your own decisions, and if you really have a strong conviction about this, caving in just for the quiet life won't help in the long run.
Could you not have just mentioned that the guy who was with you at the club, was just a close friend, rather than your boyfriend?

Anyway, you could always just arrange a fake break up, or if that doesn't go to plan, can you not move in with your boyfriend?
Original post by JayB124
Thats why I said asap. A2s end in a few months. Just wait it out.

If you dont want to wait, get a full time job and then move out.


Well if your only options are to stay with him and move out or end it with him, with the possiblity of starting again relationship in June then you are going to have to take one of them up.

I got negged but don't know why as there wasn't a comment.
Reply 38
Is OP a girl or boy? Clarifying that would make a big difference...
Reply 39
Original post by Death.
Is OP a girl or boy? Clarifying that would make a big difference...


girl..i already broke up with him today :frown: so i guess i have to close this thread but dnt knw how to :s

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