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QUESTION: doubts in relationship... Watch

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    Imagine you're with a person you can only describe as perfect. You struggle to find any flaws, and on paper they are completely right for you. When you look at other girls you can see they some are hot, but none of them fill you with the same sense that they would be right for you.

    However, you also struggle with commitment and the relationship has moved very fast and you are living together.

    Remember though, this person is: loving, caring, sweet, beautiful, fun, engaging, intelligent, etc.

    Here's the problem...

    You cannot quite bring yourself to love them back in the same way. You have doubts... being with them becomes an obligation rather than something to be enjoyed. You would rather be with your friends. You flirt with girls who are hot, but nowhere near as wonderful as the girl you are with. You care about this person, but you are always holding yourself back slightly emotionally.

    Do you think:

    a. This is a problem with myself. I have doubts because I am scared of commitment and I need to work through them, with the help of this wonderful person who is patient and kind about the situation.

    b. There is a problem with the relationship. It can't work out, even though there is nothing obvious wrong with it. I should end it now.
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    I think it is very normal to have doubts in a relationship. People always have fear about commitment; like this is the only person you're going to be with forever. You don't know that, but it's what exists at the moment.

    What you have to decide is if you could live without this person, and if not, is it worth being faithful and staying with them?

    Also, remember that there's a difference between being attracted to other people and acting on it.
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    "being with them becomes an obligation rather than something to be enjoyed." Surely this means you should end it.
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    I don't really know what to tell you.

    You sound quite similar to me so I was going to say a, probably just don't want to commit yet at this stage in life but you also said 'being with them becomes an obligation rather than something to be enjoyed' This indicates that there may be something wrong in the relationship and it won't work if your forcing yourself to be in a relationship with her.

    My advice: keep it going for a while if things don't change or get worse than end it rather than falling into the trap of cheating on her.
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    Doubts are normal. No-one is that perfect. You just need to decide whether you still want to be with them despite the doubt or if you're just with them for some other reason.
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    (Original post by Journalistic)
    being with them becomes an obligation rather than something to be enjoyed. You would rather be with your friends.
    You're clearly experiencing her company in the wrong location. Her mouth can be used for other things, ya' know.
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    I had this exact problem mate minus the living together, she was amazing and never did a thing wrong, but i just wasn't as into her as she was to me, i didn't want/wasn't ready for the commitment.
    To cut a long story short it was a LDR and im going to uni next year anyway, i ended it imo the kindest thing to do rather than getting with someone else etc.
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    You should never feel obligated to be with anyone. Relationships are about being with someone who you love and want to be with, regardless of the other person's flaws.

    I think with regards to your relationship, I don't think you've found the right person yet. Having the right credentials is great and you're lucky to find a girl who ticks all those boxes, but if something isn't sitting right within you, despite her being 'perfect' for you, then it's not a success and you'll always be doubting your relationship.
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    If you feel you may be scared of commitments, that could be the reason you feel this way. Try bringing it up in conversation somehow?

    Otherwise... Cut the cords, horrible as it may sound
 
 
 
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