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Can't bully me Watch

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    Wow this show is quite relevant to how I was as a teen and still am at 27 in many ways.

    Was horifficly bullied to the point in my 1st year I had my shoulder broken and get painful arthritis even now and most of my bullying came from the fact that I was lower class and the bullies were mostly upper working or middle class since the teachers were really snobbish and said that because I was from a council estate I was likely lying or starting fights with people!

    In my 2nd year I started truanting from class to the point that that made the bullying worse since they took delight in telling teachers they saw me in town, then the school was really nasty to my parents saying it was their fault I wasnt coming to school.

    I learned to block out all emotions from my mind and thus blanked everyone even if they were nice to me and only started getting better when I was about 19/20 but never recovered from the shyness or self esteem but liked company.
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    I'm watching it now and it's really sad.

    I wasn't bullied at school, but by a group of girls who were the children of my parents' friends. I can actually remember the first time I met them. I must have been about 5/6. It wasn't anything physical, but emotional. Exclusion, talking about me, making fun of me. I remember getting so anxious when I knew I would have to see them. I actually went to one of the girl's weddings a couple of years ago and I heard her making a nasty comment about me to another girl when I was sitting right next to her. I was completely shocked. I couldn't believe that they were still so mean. And you know what was really weird? Both of the girls came around to my house a couple of months later (the girl actually brought her new husband over too). And they were really *****y to me again. It was like they couldn't help themselves. It was like an impulse they had. And what was most painful was that one of the girl's brothers were there and he laughed along. And I just took it. Because my mum always taught me to be nice to people.

    I finally told my mum about it this summer at age 23. And even then I haven't said everything. My sisters have asked about but I try to glaze over it. Pretend when it was no big deal, when in fact, whenever I think I feel really down. I sometimes really resent her. I've moved back home a couple of months ago and I feel like such a looser. Whenever I feel down, my mind always thinks about what a looser I am. I have a group of very good friends, but in general I find it really hard to get close to people. To tell them what I'm feeling.

    I am really lucky and I'm really loved. And I should be happy for all I have everything in my life.
 
 
 
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