Don't know where I stand with this guy.

Hi, I've been seeing a guy for about 2 weeks now. he added me on Facebook and got chatting/flirting, so we agreed to meet for a date. We met a few times and got chatting and that and we said we liked each other a lot. He said he wanted to see me but wanted to take things slow because he said his past three boyfriends got with him too fast and ended up cheating on him, so I said that was fine. We've slept together and he's even asking me to stay over at his for the night a few times. I've been meeting a few people over the past two weeks however and they've been asking em out (in that sort of way) and I've had to explain to them that I'm seeing someone while on Facebook I'm single: confusing!

So today I asked him if it was alright to put my Facebook setting as in a relationship, not necessarily with him (I was dating his ex and I think he's nervous about him knowing). He said he didn't and then he went on to say 'As long as you realise we're not in a relationship'. That kinda stopped me still and made me think "Hold on, if that's not a relationship, then what is?" :s-smilie:

He's introduced me to his friends and asked me to stay over and that, to me, seemed liked a relationship sorta setup. We're doing more 'relationshippy' stuff than I did in my last relationship!

I don't know what to do tbh, I don't know what levels are higher than that for us to move onto. Tbh I don't have a lot of experience with this thing. I don't know if he's just wanting to keep me away so he can mess about with other guys and not worry (I've been fine with him kissing guys when he's drunk) or if he's just wanting me for the fun stuff. Either way, what should I do? Should I ride it or should I be awkward and challenge it? :confused:

Reply 1

PlanetEuropa

I take it from your post that your a bum pirate ?

Reply 2

User69701

10

That to him its casual.

Reply 3

no chance

I'm assuming there's a similar sort of paradigm in a gay relationship as there is in a hetero one, but you're not asking for advice, I guess. By his words, you're not in a relationship. You're not 'together', so to speak. I don't know, though. Manlove seems complicated.

Reply 4

sir-lewis

11

Original post by PlanetEuropa

I take it from your post that your a bum pirate ?

This is possibly the best post i have ever seen.

Reply 5

JmJtr

15

Original post by PlanetEuropa

I take it from your post that your a bum pirate ?

I aint gonna lie, I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL'd.

Reply 6

jmv22

Original post by AnthonyShock

Hi, I've been seeing a guy for about 2 weeks now. he added me on Facebook and got chatting/flirting, so we agreed to meet for a date. We met a few times and got chatting and that and we said we liked each other a lot. He said he wanted to see me but wanted to take things slow because he said his past three boyfriends got with him too fast and ended up cheating on him, so I said that was fine. We've slept together and he's even asking me to stay over at his for the night a few times. I've been meeting a few people over the past two weeks however and they've been asking em out (in that sort of way) and I've had to explain to them that I'm seeing someone while on Facebook I'm single: confusing!

So today I asked him if it was alright to put my Facebook setting as in a relationship, not necessarily with him (I was dating his ex and I think he's nervous about him knowing). He said he didn't and then he went on to say 'As long as you realise we're not in a relationship'. That kinda stopped me still and made me think "Hold on, if that's not a relationship, then what is?" :s-smilie:

He's introduced me to his friends and asked me to stay over and that, to me, seemed liked a relationship sorta setup. We're doing more 'relationshippy' stuff than I did in my last relationship!

I don't know what to do tbh, I don't know what levels are higher than that for us to move onto. Tbh I don't have a lot of experience with this thing. I don't know if he's just wanting to keep me away so he can mess about with other guys and not worry (I've been fine with him kissing guys when he's drunk) or if he's just wanting me for the fun stuff. Either way, what should I do? Should I ride it or should I be awkward and challenge it? :confused:

Hi

He wants you as a friend with benefits. He's not ashamed to show you off, but he's not ready for a relationship either. I think he's made that fairly clear. If you're fine with that, then carry on with it. If not, you have to stop seeing him or he will end up breaking your heart.
I was in a relationship like this a few years ago. I was fine only seeing him now and then for a laugh and for sex. But when I realised he was seeing other people, I was jealous. I don't know why because I didn't love him. So I stopped seeing him before I was hurt or left with STIs.
Be safe whatever you decide to do. Good luck! :smile:

x

Reply 7

who_says_i'm_childish

Well, being a gay guy myself, I know how you feel. And honestly, you deseve better! Tell him exactly how you feel and what you want and if he doens't agree you know where he stands :smile:

Reply 8

AnthonyShock

OP

13

Original post by PlanetEuropa

I take it from your post that your a bum pirate ?