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Recent Breakup - feeling attracted to everyone?! Watch

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    basically, i broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years 8 months last week, and it came about because she is not at university and therefore we couldnt handle the distance etc. she is also the only person i have ever kissed and had sex with.

    i should explain that i am not one of those laddish types, i genuinely care about the people around me, whether they are girls or boys, and i try to be nice at least 99% of the time

    its just that since i have broken up with my girlfriend, i have been finding everyone attractive and have massive problems with craving things like cuddles and kissing. Because i have been with my girlfriend for so long, i have never really learnt how to deal with this in a club for instance - i do not want to look like one of those sleazy pricks (jesus christ, they need to take a long hard look in the mirror) but i am feeling that it would be lovely to just kiss a girl for a while, maybe have some cuddles in bed, and because i have never learnt the 'pulling' skill girls seem to ignore me.

    so, to conclude my ramble, should i try to get together with girls if i want to? and how should i do it in a non 'banterlads' way?

    thankyou for your time
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    YEESH.

    If you want to pursue girls, go ahead and pursue girls.

    If you don't want to, then don't.




    Honestly, youth these days :sigh:
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    (Original post by jumpingjesusholycow)
    YEESH.

    If you want to pursue girls, go ahead and pursue girls.

    If you don't want to, then don't.




    Honestly, youth these days :sigh:
    to be honest, i agree, i can do what i like, but i dont know how to go about it. for i just want to get together with someone nice who does not want anything serious, because that is where i am right now, but how could i possibly approach anyone in a club? i have never tried, and i dont know how, because i have never needed to be able to.

    thanks for yo help though
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    lol just do what you want...

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    yeah try the legal way it works pretty well
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    you so crazy bro
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    (Original post by joebro)
    basically, i broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years 8 months last week, and it came about because she is not at university and therefore we couldnt handle the distance etc. she is also the only person i have ever kissed and had sex with.

    i should explain that i am not one of those laddish types, i genuinely care about the people around me, whether they are girls or boys, and i try to be nice at least 99% of the time

    its just that since i have broken up with my girlfriend, i have been finding everyone attractive and have massive problems with craving things like cuddles and kissing. Because i have been with my girlfriend for so long, i have never really learnt how to deal with this in a club for instance - i do not want to look like one of those sleazy pricks (jesus christ, they need to take a long hard look in the mirror) but i am feeling that it would be lovely to just kiss a girl for a while, maybe have some cuddles in bed, and because i have never learnt the 'pulling' skill girls seem to ignore me.

    so, to conclude my ramble, should i try to get together with girls if i want to? and how should i do it in a non 'banterlads' way?

    thankyou for your time


    I know what you mean about never learning to 'pull' - I was in a similar situation as you... got together with my ex at 18, went to uni a few months later while she finished year 13... came back after first year and she went crazeh and dumped me. 9 weeks later I go back to uni, and I just don't know how to pull in a club.

    This didn't matter though. Within a week I'd secured a **** buddy. Just as some guys dont go around picking up girls in clubs, many girls dont get picked up either, but it doesn't mean they don't want sexytime lol.

    FB chat is your best friend, meet a girl at a party/social gathering, start flirting over chat (its far easier to take risks/be smooth over IM than face to face.. its basically like being able to text without having to get her number first ).

    In my case it was a girl who'd taken a shine to me at my housewarming (one of my housemate's friends). So she started talking to me... I flirted back... and hey presto!

    She called it all off after a couple of weeks though cos she wanted more from me and knew I didn't feel that way about her.


    Then I got together with my current GF via FB chat flirting lol (i basically convinced her that she wanted to sleep with me :sexface: )... though I did already vaguely know her before hand lol
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    You're trying to fill the void she's left, and get back some of that intimacy to your life. Meaningless sex doesnt really do this, but go have some fun anyway and it will distract your mind. Pulling is easy, just go out to have fun, rather than to pull, meet lots of people and activly take things in the direction you want them to go in.
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    (Original post by Barden)
    I know what you mean about never learning to 'pull' - I was in a similar situation as you... got together with my ex at 18, went to uni a few months later while she finished year 13... came back after first year and she went crazeh and dumped me. 9 weeks later I go back to uni, and I just don't know how to pull in a club.

    This didn't matter though. Within a week I'd secured a **** buddy. Just as some guys dont go around picking up girls in clubs, many girls dont get picked up either, but it doesn't mean they don't want sexytime lol.

    FB chat is your best friend, meet a girl at a party/social gathering, start flirting over chat (its far easier to take risks/be smooth over IM than face to face.. its basically like being able to text without having to get her number first ).

    In my case it was a girl who'd taken a shine to me at my housewarming (one of my housemate's friends). So she started talking to me... I flirted back... and hey presto!

    She called it all off after a couple of weeks though cos she wanted more from me and knew I didn't feel that way about her.


    Then I got together with my current GF via FB chat flirting lol (i basically convinced her that she wanted to sleep with me :sexface: )... though I did already vaguely know her before hand lol
    that doesnt sound like a bad idea to be honest, i just dont want anything serious at all. i like the idea of facebook chat, its so much easier to be confident over stuff like facebook chat, msn, etc even if i am not feeling that confident think i am going out tonight, so i will try your methods, see how it goes :cool:

    one question though. did you know any of these girls beforehand? or did you just go up to them as a stranger in a club?
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    (Original post by Double Agent)
    You're trying to fill the void she's left, and get back some of that intimacy to your life. Meaningless sex doesnt really do this, but go have some fun anyway and it will distract your mind. Pulling is easy, just go out to have fun, rather than to pull, meet lots of people and activly take things in the direction you want them to go in.
    sounds like the words of a wise bro. i dont think i could ever really go out to 'pull', i just think of it as something that might happen, and if it does, then great!
 
 
 
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