I was reading Private eye and happened to come across this scenario.
If you watch downton abbey then it'll make sense, but if you don't then they're a high-class bunch of people living in this mansion.
Cameron and Clegg are now part of the crew! Here it is..
The story so far... Agreeable, patrician aristocrat Lord Cameron is grooming the gauche, middle-class Nicholas Clegg in the traditional ways of governing classes. Meanwhile, Lord Cameron's mysterious valet, Mr Coulson, seems to have a secret past. Events come to a head with the arrival of the telephone at Downturn Abbey...
(The Library, Lord Cameron is reading a neatly ironed copy of the Daily Telegraph bearing headline 'Yes, it's Lord Fellowes at last'. Lord Cameron smiles, but his mood darkens as his valet Coulson enters)
Coulson: You wanted to see me, sir.
Lord Cameron: Now look here, Coulson. I've been given evidence that you're a bit of a bounder and should be in prison.
Coulson: I'd rather not talk about it, sir, for personal reasons.
Lord Cameron: Well, that's alright then. I shalln't sack you after all. I shall instruct Mr Cable, the butler, to stop making a fuss about nothing.
Cut to the family eating lavish dinner
Nicholas Clegg: trying to eat soup with his fish knife It has always been my opinion, my Lord, that the lower classes would benefit from free education.
Dame Maggie: Free Education? I don't think so, Mr Clegg. If you allow them education then the lower classes will no longer be stupid enough to vote for you!
There is an awkward silence. Only Lady George s******* behind her fan
Lady George: But Mr Clegg, may i be so bold as to enquire who i going to pay for the oiks' free education?
Nicholas Clegg: looks embarrassed and pours gravy into his wine glass I... er... Er...
As ever, the gracious Lord Cameron intervenes
Lord Cameron: Whilst we all admire your philanthropic motives, Nicholas, and they are greatly to your credit, Lady George does have a point. There is, I belive, a popular expression "There is no such thing as a free lunch".
Dame Maggie: What is "Lunch"? I have heard of "Luncheon" and indeed "Bruncheon", but no one at Downturn has ever used the word "free".
Lord Cameron: What Dame Maggie is trying to say, Nicholas, is that there is a price to be paid for everything, including, I fear, education.
Nicholas Clegg: You're quite right, your Lordship. I have now completely changed my mind.
At this point, the resentful footman, Hughes, deliberately empties the salt cellar over Nicholas Clegg's sherry trifle
Dame Maggie: Oh dear, it would appear that we must take everything Mr Clegg says with a pinch of salt!
Cut to the hallway, where the new telephone rings, Coulson shiftily picks it up and listens in.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Cameron and Clegg Parody Watch
- Thread Starter
- 02-12-2010 09:37