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I'm too young to know what i want for the rest of my life. Watch

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    Ok, me and my boyfriend are both 20. We have been together for 2 years and are currently both at the same university. After one year of us being together he said he wanted to marry me and have children with me. I love the security of what he is saying and that he wants to be with me till I am old and grey but I am 20 and i feel like I haven't experienced enough of life to make that commitment especially since I have just accepted that I am bisexual (he doesn't know). I really want to explore my sexuality but I love him so much, I want to be with him and could see us together for a long time but I just feel like i can't be myself when i am sexually attracted to girls and i want to act on my impulses.
    What do I do?!

    Before anyone suggests threesomes, I have already asked if he wanted to but he said no.
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    If he doesn't like the idea of a threesome I very much doubt he'd like the idea of letting you experiment then go back to him so...I guess you have to choose between staying with him and getting with a girl. I know that sounds blunt but yeah.
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    I understand i have to choose between him and being with girls but if i don't leave him i know i will be with him forever and I don't want to be 45 with three kids when i decide i want to be with a girl. I am so stuck. I tried to split up with him about a month ago and he has changed into a better person in order to keep me. I made him cry, I don't think i could ever have the courage to leave him and a small part of me wants him to cheat so i have a reason to leave.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I understand i have to choose between him and being with girls but if i don't leave him i know i will be with him forever and I don't want to be 45 with three kids when i decide i want to be with a girl. I am so stuck. I tried to split up with him about a month ago and he has changed into a better person in order to keep me. I made him cry, I don't think i could ever have the courage to leave him and a small part of me wants him to cheat so i have a reason to leave.
    I've highlighted the above bold bits, because you've clearly already made up your mind about what you want to do. Now you just have the guts to do it. As a previous poster said - sorry to be blunt, but that's what it comes down to!
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    I know it looks clear that i should just get some ballz and dump him but I do love him and what if he is who i am meant to be with?
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    I can sympathise with you to an extent- I'm bisexual, I met my boyfriend when I was 15, have been with him for two and a half years and see myself being with him for the rest of my life. Fortunately, I've been comfortable with my sexuality for a long time and have kissed girls, but I've never had sex with one or a long-term meaningful relationship. A very small part of me is sad that I am missing out on exploring that part of me, but the opportunity to experiment with girls is nothing compared to the opportunity of spending the rest of my life with a man who I'm head over heels in love with.

    Honestly, I agree with everyone else who says it sounds like you've made up your mind. Your boyfriend sounds sweet and it isn't fair to stay with him if you're constantly going to be wondering what else is out there and what you're missing out on. If it's really meant to be, you'll find a way back to each other, but for now I really think you need to let go and try and sort out what it is you want.
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    (Original post by xlouisedoll)
    I've highlighted the above bold bits, because you've clearly already made up your mind about what you want to do. Now you just have the guts to do it. As a previous poster said - sorry to be blunt, but that's what it comes down to!
    Totally agreed. I read that and saw that the decision has been made.
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    I think it's obvious you're not ready to settle down, 20 is far too young to know what you really want anyway.
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    I know it'd be really complicated, convoluted, abstract, and bewilderingly commonsensical(much as I loath so called "common sense"), you might try this:
    the truth
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok, me and my boyfriend are both 20. We have been together for 2 years and are currently both at the same university. After one year of us being together he said he wanted to marry me and have children with me. I love the security of what he is saying and that he wants to be with me till I am old and grey but I am 20 and i feel like I haven't experienced enough of life to make that commitment especially since I have just accepted that I am bisexual (he doesn't know). I really want to explore my sexuality but I love him so much, I want to be with him and could see us together for a long time but I just feel like i can't be myself when i am sexually attracted to girls and i want to act on my impulses.
    What do I do?!

    Before anyone suggests threesomes, I have already asked if he wanted to but he said no.
    He said no? Seriously? :lolwut: Dump this ******.
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    I know how you feel- I'm bisexual and very much wish I'd experimented more with girls before meeting a man that I want to settle down with. I'd wish the same if I'd only been with girls and then met a girl I wanted to settle down with.

    But, you know, I've made a choice in my mind to choose him over anyone else, regardless of gender or my prior experience. If you see what I mean. If you don't feel ready to make that choice, don't do it! After all, you're only 20. Totally understandable.
    • #2
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    I don't think you truly love him that much tbh. I'm bi and haven't "experimented" with guys, I just find them hot as hell and if I was going out with a guy I know that'd be fine. However, I love my girlfriend more than anything so I don't feel the need to experiment. I don't see gay sex as being any different to straight sex in terms of how it should affect your relationship.

    Let's take women out of the equation for a moment, what you're basically saying is you want to sleep with other people, to me that shows that you really don't love your guy that much. If you want to experiment, at least have the guts to properly break up with him and tell him the truth first.
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    Your bi-sexuality doesn't come into it. That's blunt and I'm sorry, but it doesn't. If you're unsure of whether you want to be with him or not, you're unsure. You need to talk to him about it, whether you're straight, gay, bi, whatever - you're in a relationship that you're unsure of.
 
 
 
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