There's a girl at work who started about 2 months ago. After a little while I began to notice she was dropping hints that she liked me.
I had recently been going through a bit of a rough time in my life for which I had to see a counsellor for so I had agreed with myself that I wasn't allowed to date any girls. So I just ignored her hints. I don't think I was rude to her, but she seemed to get annoyed with me and gave me the cold shoulder. At the time I just thought fair enough, if she wants to be immature, that's her problem.
Anyway things seem better now. We don't get much of a chance to talk at work because she works as a waitress and I work behind the bar. I am in a better place and ok to date girls. I'd like to ask her out but it is a little hard to tell if she still likes me. I get the impression she does, but I get the feeling she has distanced herself a bit. We worked together last night and I only got to talk to her a couple of times.
What would be the best way to approach this situation? It would be very difficult to get her alone at work. If we work a shift together the waitresses always finish an hour earlier so there's no chance of making a move after work. I added her on facebook the other day, but it seems really lame asking a girl out like that.
Advice about a girl at work Watch
- Thread Starter
- 03-12-2010 10:26
- 03-12-2010 10:34
Surely if she works at the same place as you, she'd understand the reasons you can't talk to her at work, and the facebook method wouldn't be 'lame'?
I met my boyfriend at work, and as we work in a theatre, we're spaced out across all the different levels, so unless one of us makes the effort, there's very little option for us to chat at work, but we got together via Facebook and text, which was a little weird admittedly, but we're very happy.
I'd say ask her out via facebook, or try and get her number via facebook, if you feel uncomfortable using facebook solely. If she still likes you, then I'm sure she won't mind the whole 'cold shoulder' thing, and will just accept it.
Hope it works out well!
- Thread Starter
- 03-12-2010 10:41
Its not so much that, just more that before I pushed her away because I couldn't be involved with anyone. I'm guessing she got the impression I wasn't interested. But now I can date again.
Problem is at work it is a bit laboured and a tiny bit arkward because of before. Is there a way to sort of blow past that? I like the idea of starting small and working up from there but it is difficult at work.
- 03-12-2010 18:11
I think it's just important that you now make it very clear that a relationship is what you want. Almost be too forward, and that way, when she asks why you, in her eyes, 'went off' her, you can say what happened and just make it clear that it wasn't her and its better that you're together now as opposed to when you first started having feelings for each other.
In my opinion, it's just important that you tell her- don't give some mysterious answer about how you didn't want to seem too keen, or that you had 'issues', tell her straight out that at the time, a relationship wasn't the right thing, but now it is, and you'd like to try it with her. Make it very clear that you have wanted the relationship all along, you were just trying to protect her when it wasn't right for there to be a relationship.