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Would you purposely forget someone's bday if they forgot yours? Watch

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    Can we have TL;DR version please?
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    Slightly petty if you plan to forget hers to be honest.
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    (Original post by A_master)
    Can we have TL;DR version please?
    no
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    I think purposely forgetting is a bit harsh. Also all sounds a bit childish!
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    I would say be the better person but why should you have to make an effort when it's her birthday when she doesn't do the same for you?
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    Birthdays really aren't that important you know.
    Don't take them so seriously.
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    (Original post by *mMmMm*)
    Going to a friend who you haven't known that long's party, it is expensive.
    None of her friends who knew her much longer go.
    Wait ages for the few guests that came, not her friends.
    Don't know anyone but bday girl, mingle anyway.

    She forgets your bday after. The night before your bday asks study related question.
    Usually it is asking to always go shopping with her, she goes weekly. Am busy studying, sometimes go and keep company. Noone else does as there's so much work plus not that sociable.
    She can be an OK bubbly, sociable friend but it feels like am the girl to take when noone else is coming out.
    I asked if she has any friends on her course anymore because a lot are on a year out, she said not really.
    ***** sounds like she's using you tbf. I'd move on, and if she's not interested then why should you be?

    Also, bdays don't mean much to me so I can't really comment on that aspect :iiam:
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    No and that's really lame

    Having read your original post however it sounds like those people aren't really your friends and you shouldn't waste time on them, however difficult that may be
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    I'd be tempted but no because I'm not like that
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    I never forget people's birthday (thank God for facebook :p:)

    OP, I wouldn't, why would you just sink to the same level?
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    It's better to be the bigger person, say happy bday if you speak to her and you remember it.

    If she never says anything over several years however, drop it.
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    I understand what you're getting at, and it's not fair on you after putting in all that effort. Although from the way i've taken it, it seems like she asked the study related questions because.. well she was probably focusing on studying at that point? Maybe maybe maybe, she was caught up with that and got carried away with studying even though she saw the birthday notification on Facebook? Perhaps it shouldn't be taken personally. Wait. If she saw it on facebook, that's kinda lazy not to wish you (even a quick) Happy Birthday actually..

    At least you know you're the better person. It was recently one of my bestfriends' birthday and I bought her something quite expensive ..a few days later, what did she get me for mine? a galaxy bar. Oh, and another close friend of mine is planning to have a night out, expecting me to spend £30-50 (and on top of that, a present that she keeps hinting) when she got me absolutely zilch for my birthday. I don't understand people like that.. but yeah.. we're the better ones and sometimes when you think about it, it feels good to know you've put way more effort into something than someone else has. I wouldn't purposely forget someone's birthday if they forgot mine.
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    (Original post by *mMmMm*)
    I paid £25 last year to go to a girl's Bday party, didn't know her that much and for so long compared to the rest of uni people. It wasn't too far to drive to and I felt it is rude to not go to someone's party who invites you as I have been in the same situation. None of her uni mates went but me who had known her for less time. Maybe it was the really expensive price, location too far for them. Tbh it was mostly her siblings there who were nice and friendly, her bf too and his guy mates, she had another girl mate from another uni. That was it, 2 cars of people and hardly anyone turned up. Thought the price would be well worth it, wasn't really a good night out. Despite the fact I wouldn't know anyone but her I still went, mingled with people I didn't know despite how I usually drink when out socially but respected the fact noone will drunk because of obvious religious purposes. I waited ages for her to arrive and was alone in the cold, tried to see if anyone is coming who I may know by texting or calling them, the cars came late and there weren't many people at all who were her friends, just one other friend not from my uni.

    Anyways it was my bday after and she totally had forgot last year, didn't even say happy birthday. My birthday lies right in exam time, so I usually forget too but Facebook has a reminder and other people were sending lots of messages to me. The night before my bday, before midnight when I would turn older, she texts me asking me for revision help and what to do etc so I replied back... It seems she asks me always to go shopping with her, always wants to buy makeup etc or if she's hungry and wants specific food whilst I am busy and supposed to be studying, sometimes I go as noone else is going with her and to keep her company to go shopping. She goes shopping weekly for clothes etc. Out of most people, am there for her but she can't even remember my birthday, it is sort of offensive. She's sociable and goes out quite a bit, is nice and bubbly that way but I don't think we're that much of good friends sometimes. As much as she's an OK friend am beginning to wonder if I'm just someone she can take shopping with because noone else does go out.

    Also a guy who meant a lot to me, we had a complex relationship but were good mates. I knew he knew when it was my birthday but was on purpose not wanting to message or tell me. He has been there for me when I really need him, so I messaged him twice this year for his birthday. He doesn't know the girl above much at all yet says happy birthday to her. He's sort of odd like that, one minute we're so close and he used to keep wanting to come over or go out with me, next things like that. So we grew apart and moved on as he gave me mixed messages, wasn't sure what we wanted and it seemed when I asked or suggested if he wants to be more than friends or what, it made things awkward after. I knew he has quite a lot of jobs compared to her, is very hardworking with studies etc so is always busy. With him I could understand if I was the issue so had to say happy birthday, as he meant a lot to me when I needed him the most in my life, really caring person.

    I know it sounds like am a ***** but if I have done a lot for a friend, then they can't do something simple then it hurts quite a bit and I think of them as less of a caring friend. Unless they have a pretty good damn reason. Also we had groupwork where I worked with the girl, it was worth 50% of the module result, I did the most work, she did 2nd most, the other 4 people who were in the group did nothing and didn't care. At the start of that she was implying that I should do all the work and said that whilst the lazy group were there, so I really had to get her to do some work as it was my best shot compared to the rest who I also tried to make in doing the work. I wouldn't on purpose forget someone who is supposed to be a friend's bday but I felt like I had a good reason to, after she forgot mine when I was one the few people who turned up to her costly party, had a really busy day aswell then going to it after an interview.
    Didn't bother reading that but I'm going to go with "No, because unlike you I'm not a petty little *****"
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    (Original post by *mMmMm*)
    Thanks It doesn't take long on FB and you can see that everyone is posting to the person the same message lol. Also I don't use it like am addicted to it but you can see roughly when a person is active on it, so if they post during a day you kind of figure things out.

    That's sad but true, some friends do use or see things materialist. I always got people presents, didn't get much back and would go to get the presents just for them. GAP, Next stuff etc. Primary and high school wasn't good times, college was so with college it doesn't really matter if I got nothing as much, as I know the people were better.

    At uni now, I know it is quality not quantity. So I would prefer to only have a good number of friends who actually mean a lot to eachother and not just a one way thing. I have some really caring excellent friends who mean a lot to me, my closest friends money isn't a matter obviously it is personality and we understand eachother. The main thing is that we study very hard and have some time to text, fb chat, go out and socialise. Balancing work hard, play a bit hard when there's time.

    I have one friend, she always offers to pay for my stuff and I feel so guilty and try to pay instead as much as I can, sometimes she's too fast but so pays for things more than I do. We get along well, would have to get her a nice present as she's very understanding and there for me, wouldn't expect anything back. We're at a stage where she pays for my stuff, I pay for hers but it works well as we're close friends who are on the same mental level. We can talk to eachother more about anything and understand. In this case I would do the best I can and make this friend happy, be there for her as she puts a lot of effort into being a friend too so I wouldn't care if I did more simply because she's a friend and that's what friendship is supposed to be about if it is well.
    Even with guys, I don't like it if they're paying most of the stuff, offer to pay or split things always. It is the fair thing to do or take turns.
    Sorry, never saw this until now. My widgets section hid itself :unsure:

    Quality not quantity, too right! I completely agree with you on everything you've said. I like the way you go about with things, keep doing what you're doing. You are the perfect model of a perfect friend, doing and expecting the right things :hugs: and good luck with your uni course, keep working hard.
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    Hell yeah I would. Infact, just to double piss em off, I'd write "Happy Birthday" on someone else's wall.
 
 
 
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