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Do I need to be discreet about how many men I've slept with? Watch

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    I am fully aware that men who have slept around vs women are viewed in a very different way, and although I strongly disagree with that idea and challenge it where ever I can, I need to sometimes work within these awful social boundaries so as to not draw too much attention to myself.

    I'm in my early twenties and have slept with 20 different men and 1 woman. Starting to settle down a bit now and longing for a longer term boyfriend (previous ones were all short term partners or one offs)...should I artificially reduce my number or outright lie, or do you think a smart bloke can handle it?

    I know the answer seems obvious (a smart guy will not be bothered, you'd think!) but I've not come across many men who don't react in an odd way to the number. I didn't even think it was that high!
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    i dont think you should tell them early on tbh
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    no, but dont brag about how many tampons you have abused.
    trust me.
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    S.L.U.T is the reaction you will get.
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    There is no point telling just for the sake of it. I've never asked a guy how many he's slept with. For a long-term relationship, I'd make sure he's clean if we'd go off condoms, but that's it. If someone asks, you can give a "give/take/approx" thing, but really I can't see why you should say.
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    Thats pretty good going. Plenty of peni.
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    I don't see why it should ever come up at all. I have never asked a guy about his past, and never been asked about mine.

    However, based on H&R, it seems to be discussed quite a lot, so I don't know..
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    (Original post by SamiFFXIII)
    S.L.U.T is the reaction you will get.
    not from me.

    Your past is your business, yes your man may react quite badly but if he does it is his problem. 20 is not even that much to be honest if your 25 now that is only like 5/6 a year. imo a girl with experience is better there is a fine line though between experienced and slut but you're no where near .
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    Daddy must be proud
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    I would never mention it for no reason. I asked because in any past relationships I've been in that lasted more than a few months eventually the question comes up: "so how many people have you slept with?" :-O
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    The way I see it is if the guy reacts badly, you've just gained a window into their true mentality: an early warning sign that he is not for you. There are lots of men out there who are mature enough to realise that the number alone means nothing, there are even men out there for whom your experience will be viewed positively. Shocking isn't it?

    Be honest.
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    (Original post by black_mamba)
    The way I see it is if the guy reacts badly, you've just gained a window into their true mentality: an early warning sign that he is not for you. There are lots of men out there who are mature enough to realise that the number alone means nothing, there are even men out there for whom your experience will be viewed positively. Shocking isn't it?

    Be honest.
    Agreed.

    If a man reacts badly that is their issue and not yours. Don't change who you are for anyone or you are both unhappy.
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    I don't think you should feel you need to lie about it. If the guy's going to leave because of something like that then he would probably leave sooner or later anyway. If they ask really early on just say you don't feel you know them well enough to talk about it or something.
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    I can understand why a guy wouldn't like it, you might have given him a vast array of STDs by now!
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    Don't lie, avoid the question, hint that it's more then most but there's no need to say how many. I think it would put most guys of tbh not because their shallow but most guys like a 'chase' aspect in a relationship - saying you've slept with lots of people takes away that illusion and there's no need to.
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    (Original post by kayyyy_x)
    I can understand why a guy wouldn't like it, you might have given him a vast array of STDs by now!
    Sleeping with lots of people says nothing about how safe you are =/
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    (Original post by kayyyy_x)
    I can understand why a guy wouldn't like it, you might have given him a vast array of STDs by now!
    :rolleyes:

    I love sex but that doesn't automatically make me stupid. I get STD tested regularly like most sensible people.
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    If a guy asks you, just say you'll have to get your calculator to work it out.
    Seriously, 20 doesn't sound that much really. It's only a few a year isn't it?
    It's up to you what you say anyway. If it bothers you just say not that many.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I am fully aware that men who have slept around vs women are viewed in a very different way, and although I strongly disagree with that idea and challenge it where ever I can, I need to sometimes work within these awful social boundaries so as to not draw too much attention to myself.

    I'm in my early twenties and have slept with 20 different men and 1 woman. Starting to settle down a bit now and longing for a longer term boyfriend (previous ones were all short term partners or one offs)...should I artificially reduce my number or outright lie, or do you think a smart bloke can handle it?

    I know the answer seems obvious (a smart guy will not be bothered, you'd think!) but I've not come across many men who don't react in an odd way to the number. I didn't even think it was that high!
    From what ive learned from American Pie you have actually slept with 60 men and 3 women
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by headphones)
    From what ive learned from American Pie you have actually slept with 60 men and 3 women
    lol! It's the other way around. 21 is my real number, so I'll tell all the boys I've only had 7.
 
 
 
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