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    Despite meeting and chatting to so many different people, I've made friends with like one person, who isn't even at my college. People only seem to want anything to do with me when its work-related. It's so deflating constantly chatting to person after person, yet getting nowehere in terms of friendship etc.

    On friday/saturday nights I find myself just sitting in my room, simply because I have no one to go to social events (dinners, parties) with. I haven't been to a single formal hall. Everyone seems to have settled into their little groups of friends, and I'm so envious.

    It's not like I haven't tried to make friends - in the first couple of weeks, I went to the parties and social events. What a waste of time. I don't even like parties, I just went for the social side of things.

    I've fallen out with the senior tutor and porters at my college, and also really badly with one guy at my college. Plus my GP thinks I'm a liar.

    I haven't got a first in a single piece of supervision work.

    I haven't attended any of the clubs I signed up for.

    My biggest regret is my choice of college. I hate it here. I wish I'd applied to another college, and really regret not having done so.
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    (Original post by dd4483)
    Despite meeting and chatting to so many different people, I've made friends with like one person, who isn't even at my college. People only seem to want anything to do with me when its work-related. It's so deflating constantly chatting to person after person, yet getting nowehere in terms of friendship etc.

    On friday/saturday nights I find myself just sitting in my room, simply because I have no one to go to social events (dinners, parties) with. I haven't been to a single formal hall. Everyone seems to have settled into their little groups of friends, and I'm so envious.

    It's not like I haven't tried to make friends - in the first couple of weeks, I went to the parties and social events. What a waste of time. I don't even like parties, I just went for the social side of things.

    I've fallen out with the senior tutor and porters at my college, and also really badly with one guy at my college. Plus my GP thinks I'm a liar.

    I haven't got a first in a single piece of supervision work.

    I haven't attended any of the clubs I signed up for.

    My biggest regret is my choice of college. I hate it here. I wish I'd applied to another college, and really regret not having done so.
    In bold is your problem. Don't go if you don't enjoy, simple as that surely..?
    Also which college are you at, out of interest?
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    Why did you bother signing to clubs? Surely if you make yourself go, you'll become friendly with some like-minded people?
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    (Original post by dd4483)
    I've fallen out with the senior tutor and porters at my college, and also really badly with one guy at my college. Plus my GP thinks I'm a liar.
    How did you manage to fall out with them? Have you actually fallen out with them or is it more you perceive you have? Try and get into the porter's good books again, if not the Senior Tutor's as well. They can be handy allies.

    Why does your GP think you're a liar? Are there any others in the practice you could see?

    I haven't got a first in a single piece of supervision work.
    It's your first term! Don't panic yet!


    My biggest regret is my choice of college. I hate it here. I wish I'd applied to another college, and really regret not having done so.
    :hugs: What is it about it you hate exactly? :console:
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    If you're an undergraduate(21+) at a graduate college the experience can be quite different from the norm. It might take a bit more work to build up a group of people whose company you enjoy and aren't buried away with their work.

    Don't worry about supervision work, it's practice. Lots of people get firsts all year and then bugger up the exam....Doesn't mean anything until the last year anyway.

    Do you enjoy the work? My advice is to go to every work-related seminar / guest / faculty event you can, go check all the department posters and notice-boards. It's a great way to meet people who are eager and aren't there just to piss about so their parents don't shout at them, not that there's anything wrong with that.

    Think about joining one of the Cambridge journals / papers. This gives you something to do that's team-based and will get you meeting people.

    No idea if this is happening but try not to become one of those people who develop a complex and wander around moaning about how everybody is looking down at them / hates them / judges them / etc., blaming everybody else for their problems once they begin to struggle.
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    (Original post by dd4483)
    Despite meeting and chatting to so many different people, I've made friends with like one person, who isn't even at my college. People only seem to want anything to do with me when its work-related. It's so deflating constantly chatting to person after person, yet getting nowehere in terms of friendship etc.

    On friday/saturday nights I find myself just sitting in my room, simply because I have no one to go to social events (dinners, parties) with. I haven't been to a single formal hall. Everyone seems to have settled into their little groups of friends, and I'm so envious.

    It's not like I haven't tried to make friends - in the first couple of weeks, I went to the parties and social events. What a waste of time. I don't even like parties, I just went for the social side of things.

    I've fallen out with the senior tutor and porters at my college, and also really badly with one guy at my college. Plus my GP thinks I'm a liar.

    I haven't got a first in a single piece of supervision work.

    I haven't attended any of the clubs I signed up for.

    My biggest regret is my choice of college. I hate it here. I wish I'd applied to another college, and really regret not having done so.
    To me it appears the problem is more related to you and hence going to another uni or college will not make your problems go away..... unless you change your perception and attitude towards others. Good luck
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    (Original post by sacrilicious)
    Do you enjoy the work? My advice is to go to every work-related seminar / guest / faculty event you can, go check all the department posters and notice-boards. It's a great way to meet people who are eager and aren't there just to piss about so their parents don't shout at them, not that there's anything wrong with that.
    :ditto:
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    In a nutshell: figure out whom you want to meet, then go to events where you are likely to find them.

    Example 1: you're passionate about classical music. So go to classical performances; if you've no one to go with, go by yourself. You'll meet people there. Go to talks about famous composers; find an amateur group to perform with; etc.

    Example 2: you're passionate about your own field. Go to departmental talks, or talks at college societies about your field (including colleges other than yours). Study in the department library and strike up talks with people there (obviously not while they're studying, but while entering/leaving/photocopying/etc). Mention what you do to acquaintances (college-mates/housemates/whatever) - see if they're interested in talking about it, or know other people who are.

    Example 3: you're interested in the subject matter of the clubs you signed up for. It works like this: if you go to meetings of the clubs, you'll find other people who are interested in the same things. Some of those people will want to socialize with you, because people like socializing with others who share their interests.

    Seriously, the beauty of being at a university is that even if you have no one to go to things with, you can go to the things anyway and meet other interesting people who are looking for friends. It's much, much easier than the real world (speaking as someone who has come back to grad school after several years out in the work world). And Cambridge is large and diverse enough that there are an infinite range of possibilities. If you don't like your college, then socialize outside of it. If you don't have anyone to go to Formal Hall with, go anyway, and then start talking to the people who are sitting next to you. If you have an extracurricular interest, go find (or found) the club for it. Understand that there will be some nights when you go out and don't really meet anyone with whom you click really well; that happens to all of us. There'll be other nights where you really connect well to people and end the night feeling much more "at home."

    But sitting in your room feeling sorry for yourself is a really unattractive look. It's a privilege to be at a university with this much to offer. Go find a way to enjoy it.
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    Don't give up yet, mate. It's a really common feeling - and i can say this because in terms of being social, i felt almost exactly the same last year. People don't make set friends in 8 weeks. Quite a few of my friends commented how in Michaelmas they felt everyone else had made friends and i know at least one person who seriously debated leaving because she was so unhappy. If you stick at it - just keep talking to people etc - you'll make friends. Join a really social society - a college sport team (the boat club is great for this. I usually discourage everyone i meet from joining the boat club which is apparently really bad of me, but it is good for making friends from what i've seen) (also, you'll definitely go to it. The impression i get of them is that once you join, they own your immortal soul) or any other random societies they have. Or even a uni one (if you make friends outside college, you make friends outside college. I know of people for whom, their college is literally just the place where their bed and shower happens to be). Invite people to things.

    As for supervision work, don't worry. It would be nice to get a first but if you're not getting any in your work, it's not that important. 2.1 is pretty good and come exams, you can easily improve. Seriously - i wish there'd been someone to tell me not to focus too much on the grades i was getting last year because to try and improve, i worked later and later and worried all of my friends and it was not at all productive; i got worse if anything. When i took a step back and treated it normally, it all clicked and i improved. It'll all make sense eventually. Supervision work isn't the be all and end all
    (And to prove my point, i have NEVER gotten a first in any piece of supervision work and rarely gotten above a low 2.1. In exams, i suddenly shot up by about 15 marks in every paper)
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    Which College is it?

    Have you joined societies yet? When I imagine myself at uni, I reckon societies are the only way I'm actually going to make friends.
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    Take a look at your posting history on here. You've done nothing but moan and complain and look at the negative side of Cambridge since before you even 'came up'. So I'd suggest taking a good look at yourself and considering if you ever gave it a chance. If you are happy that you did and you've made every effort yourself, then the place clearly isn't for you.
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    (Original post by threeportdrift)
    Take a look at your posting history on here. You've done nothing but moan and complain and look at the negative side of Cambridge since before you even 'came up'. So I'd suggest taking a good look at yourself and considering if you ever gave it a chance. If you are happy that you did and you've made every effort yourself, then the place clearly isn't for you.
    Boo.

    I actually really like Cambridge, and I wouldn't change it for anything. I'm happy with the course, and wouldn't want to do anything else. I have the right to say something if I'm not happy about it - anyway why are you getting so worked up, how does it affect you?
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    (Original post by dd4483)
    Boo.

    I actually really like Cambridge, and I wouldn't change it for anything. I'm happy with the course, and wouldn't want to do anything else. I have the right to say something if I'm not happy about it - anyway why are you getting so worked up, how does it affect you?
    What makes you think I'm worked up about it? I just watch the forum and see patterns emerge. You've started threads on here about -

    Why is it easier to change course than college at Cambridge?
    Why are mature colleges at the bottom of the Tompkins Table?
    Why are Cambridge terms so short?
    I've only been in Cambridge 5 minutes and I've already been asked for money 3 times
    Does Cambridge continue as usual on Bank Holidays?
    Do you need to wear a gown or suit for formals?
    Do colleges rent out rooms to overseas students at a higher price?

    I merely made the observation that you don't seem to have taken a very constructive or positive view of life in Cambridge, at least as viewed from the perspective of your comments on TSR.
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    (Original post by Holybacon)
    In bold is your problem. Don't go if you don't enjoy, simple as that surely..?
    Also which college are you at, out of interest?
    Afraid not. Here on TSR even if you don't enjoy parties you are expected to go. People on here commonly say "just go anyway, you might even find it fun" :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by CookieDoughLove)
    Afraid not. Here on TSR even if you don't enjoy parties you are expected to go. People on here commonly say "just go anyway, you might even find it fun" :rolleyes:
    I just told the guy that if he doesn't find them fun, don't go. Surely that's a) conflicting with you b) logical?
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    (Original post by Holybacon)
    I just told the guy that if he doesn't find them fun, don't go. Surely that's a) conflicting with you b) logical?
    No I agree with you. But it seems on TSR on many threads when people say they don't enjoy parties and such, people tend to say stop whinging and go anyway.
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    why dont you take the intiative of asking people in your class and college to come around for dinner or join club society e.g. chess if thats what you like...




    peace out
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    (Original post by CookieDoughLove)
    No I agree with you. But it seems on TSR on many threads when people say they don't enjoy parties and such, people tend to say stop whinging and go anyway.
    As is the internet.
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    (Original post by threeportdrift)
    What makes you think I'm worked up about it? I just watch the forum and see patterns emerge. You've started threads on here about -

    Why is it easier to change course than college at Cambridge?
    Why are mature colleges at the bottom of the Tompkins Table?
    Why are Cambridge terms so short?
    I've only been in Cambridge 5 minutes and I've already been asked for money 3 times
    Does Cambridge continue as usual on Bank Holidays?
    Do you need to wear a gown or suit for formals?
    Do colleges rent out rooms to overseas students at a higher price?

    I merely made the observation that you don't seem to have taken a very constructive or positive view of life in Cambridge, at least as viewed from the perspective of your comments on TSR.
    Unless you have a very good memory, it seems to me that you have searched those threads out by looking under my username, which suggests to me that you are getting worked up about it,. And whats so wrong with the above threads, its not like I've offended anyone.

    I've made like 300 posts on TSR, most people have made well over 1000. So please stop trying to make out like I'm a serial moaner, I've posted about many other things as well.

    Plus I didn't even choose the title of this thread, TSR slyly changed it; the original title was 'reflections of a first term at Cambridge'. Bit cheeky of TSR if you ask me.
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    (Original post by dd4483)
    Unless you have a very good memory, it seems to me that you have searched those threads out by looking under my username, which suggests to me that you are getting worked up about it,. And whats so wrong with the above threads, its not like I've offended anyone.

    I've made like 300 posts on TSR, most people have made well over 1000. So please stop trying to make out like I'm a serial moaner, I've posted about many other things as well.
    She has a point. Regulars in this forum don't need to search your thread history to work out what past threads you've made were about because you posted about one a week, sometimes two or three in a week, and they all had really similar titles like 'why is sainsburys so annoying', 'how do you make the tourists go away' and so on and so forth. That's why you have neg rep. The last thread of yours I had to remove along those lines had a post by somebody saying 'can you stop making these pointless threads please' in it, which doesn't suggest to me that everybody's been analysing your posting history :rolleyes:
    (Original post by dd4483)
    Plus I didn't even choose the title of this thread, TSR slyly changed it; the original title was 'reflections of a first term at Cambridge'. Bit cheeky of TSR if you ask me.
    Er no. If you don't provide a thread title which actually tells people what to expect on opening your thread, then it will be changed. Otherwise you get to trick people into reading it who would otherwise have veered away if they really knew what was inside.

    Trust me, lots of people's thread titles get changed. Especially the ones that go something like "What if I were to......"

    (Original post by CookieDoughLove)
    No I agree with you. But it seems on TSR on many threads when people say they don't enjoy parties and such, people tend to say stop whinging and go anyway.
    Yeh people are really closed minded towards anything slightly different from the norm :sigh:
 
 
 
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